Comments : The Pain Within

  • 11 years ago

    by Knee

    Hey gr8 writer
    I luved this poems
    lots of emotions and amazingly written
    luv all ur poems huni
    Luv Yaaaa
    NemO x0x0x0x0x0x

  • 11 years ago

    by xBxRxOxKxExNx

    Wowwww hny u no hw 2ryt innit
    u put so much emotion into it
    wow n its so nicely put aswel bt
    it bta not b yr experience wid it
    lve u hun
    x

  • 11 years ago

    by master of shadow

    Brillaintly wriiten. very strong feelings and very clearly expresed

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    Strong words and the flow was off in certain places but not too bad. Rather interesting.
    ~S3I -Faith

  • 11 years ago

    by Fallen~Tears

    WOW.. this is probably the best poem ive read in a very long time.. i was gonna pick out my favorite line but i cant because the whole piece was amazing!! 5/5

    ~!*FallenTears~!*
    ~!*Meaghen~!*

  • 11 years ago

    by Kaylee

    I think you should break it up everynow in then to improve the flow. Great imagery but it gets lost as the sentences are too close together. Interesting no doubt and as I said brilliant imagery. YOu just need to make it stand out more.

  • 11 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Hey this is seriously a very well written poem, just loved reading it, m so in love with sad poems.. :o)

    all the best and take care
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by BleedingAngel

    A sad poem just the way I like them =0) I can relate so much and I am going through the same things with cutting and depression ect. Just amazingly written, so deep and full of emotions =0)

    Much Love Sabrina

  • 11 years ago

    by smile

    Amazing flow and structure.
    exception use of raw emotions.
    deeply heart felt poem

    WELL DONE!!!

    **smile**

  • 10 years ago

    by Renan

    BRILLIANT and amazing wirting!
    Very good!
    catchy emotional, very sad...

    Keep up the good work o.o

  • 10 years ago

    by StormXclusive

    "Visions in the darkness
    A darkened dream
    Of outlines so lifeless
    A long silent scream.?
    that's my favourite stanza...love this poem.

  • It was good. it had a good flow to it. you know like it came straight from your heart. And you have amazing work when it is from the heart. I loved it. But the only part that bothered me about it ( and this is just little non-important stuff) the stanzas were all the same amount of lines except two of them.

  • 8 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Enthralled by the sight
    Of yourself, robbed of life
    Vision giving no fright,
    Of the hand with the knife.

    *This was my favorite stanza. The diction you use here is amazing. I thought you did a wonderful job with this. It so full of deep emotions and pain. I LOVE the imagery you use here. It has both a sad and dark feel to it. Very sad poem, but I can relate. Keep it up hun. This was brillant ^.^ Nik*