Awww Darien , I also hate those days that look so promising and then turn into one disaster ofter another ....
I do hope you have since found your cell phone , my friend .....darn things , they make them so small now . I remember when they first came out the were sooooo big . You nearly needed a pack sac to carry one....Well I guess I'm exaggerating a little ...lol....but they were big....
What I love about this is it ooozes darien...i.e you. It felt so down to earth it was so well written. The rhyme felt so natural at times I didnt know it was there. You have style and its very unique...I am soo coming back for more...
Another great poem from you. It won't let me comment on waiting for the day so i commented on dear diary instead. Hope you don't mind but waiting for the day is a great poem too. I liked it alot. This poem is greatly detailed and wonderfully expressed how you feel. It was a mix between happy/sad feelings and I thought you did a great job. Keep up the talent :)
This is another great piece but i think that waiting for the day is better.
it is quite a sad poem cause i know i'd be upset if i lost the love of my life an my MOBILE all in one day i would be GUTTED
good work 4/5
Aw.. and yet another great poem by you. I like the way that it started happy and ended kind of sad.. You did a great job on this! It had my attention from beginning to end. The rhythm and flow of it was really good & held up well. Great job on this!
True in modern society loosing your phone can be very upsetting and tramatic, how can we live with out them? However, in comparison to a loved one leaving, to it doesn't seem all that bad to me but hey...
You did well to describe a pretty awful day, something everyone goes through. The simplicity in how you wrote it helped me to relate too.
If i were ever to be without my cell phone i dont know how i would survive lol! i really enjoyed reading this poem. The comment you left about the style i use when i write (two lines) didn't really affect me until i read this poem and saw how much better it was than a lot of my stuff... well i got lots of your stuff to go comment... so just to let you know, I really liked this poem..
even though we have had our arguements before,
lots of luv* and respect,