Comments : This Is My Story

  • 11 years ago

    by Robyn

    This is a great poem i can do relate to the ups and downs of life i hear u on that one keep up the good work :)
    xoxo take care
    robyn

  • 11 years ago

    by Cuddles

    Sounds like a bad dream. I don't think I could handle a day like that. Awesome write!

  • 11 years ago

    by Simon Hayes

    Darien... This is a great write. A very open story, with some good and bad times. I hope you got something sorted about your cell. Enjoyable read :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Melissa

    Excellent write, Darien... I love this, the flow was perfection and the content was intriguing... Great poem! ;o)

  • 11 years ago

    by Lu

    Awww Darien , I also hate those days that look so promising and then turn into one disaster ofter another ....

    I do hope you have since found your cell phone , my friend .....darn things , they make them so small now . I remember when they first came out the were sooooo big . You nearly needed a pack sac to carry one....Well I guess I'm exaggerating a little ...lol....but they were big....

    Take care , my friend .

  • 11 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    What I love about this is it ooozes darien...i.e you. It felt so down to earth it was so well written. The rhyme felt so natural at times I didnt know it was there. You have style and its very unique...I am soo coming back for more...

    [lost_laureate - come find me]

  • I totally understand about the ups and downs of life!! I have to agree with lost laureate the rhyme was very natural i almost didnt realize it!! Great Job!! 5/5!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Zainab

    Very Good !!

  • 11 years ago

    by Ed or Ian Henderson

    I'd say it was a 4 Darien, but under the circumstances I stuck in a rare 5. :-)

    Hope it helps!

  • 11 years ago

    by Always4You

    I really really liked that Darien!! This was my favorite part...

    A sad and disappointing end,
    to a day that started well.
    Ups and downs my life has,
    This is my story I tell.

    Keep up the good work..I think Im going to read and comment some more..Great job!

    @}>-->--
    Always4You

  • 11 years ago

    by Marjan

    WOW, that was really great. yeah, so true. each and every life has its own ups and downs.
    take care,
    marjan

  • 11 years ago

    by Synh

    'to the arms of my beautiful sweets'

    that line just didnt click for me. It's not one of my favorites but it wasn't a bad poem. 4/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Natalie

    This was really good. I loved it. The rhyming and flow were good. And it was just good. Nothing I would change. Keep it up!! 5/5

    `taleeee xx

  • 11 years ago

    by Amanda

    Another great poem from you. It won't let me comment on waiting for the day so i commented on dear diary instead. Hope you don't mind but waiting for the day is a great poem too. I liked it alot. This poem is greatly detailed and wonderfully expressed how you feel. It was a mix between happy/sad feelings and I thought you did a great job. Keep up the talent :)

  • 11 years ago

    by gemowski

    This is another great piece but i think that waiting for the day is better.
    it is quite a sad poem cause i know i'd be upset if i lost the love of my life an my MOBILE all in one day i would be GUTTED
    good work 4/5

    gemma oxo

  • 11 years ago

    by Bridgette

    Aw.. and yet another great poem by you. I like the way that it started happy and ended kind of sad.. You did a great job on this! It had my attention from beginning to end. The rhythm and flow of it was really good & held up well. Great job on this!

  • 11 years ago

    by Jackie Marie

    I like this poem. I really like how you told how your whole day went; including the ups and downs.

    The night ended in depression,
    as I lost my precious cell phone.
    My love leaving, my phone gone,
    without them both I feel so alone.

    This part really made me laugh. I am attached to my cell phone too. I would probably cry if i lost it!

    I defianitly give you a 5/5.
    Keep it up

  • 11 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    True in modern society loosing your phone can be very upsetting and tramatic, how can we live with out them? However, in comparison to a loved one leaving, to it doesn't seem all that bad to me but hey...
    You did well to describe a pretty awful day, something everyone goes through. The simplicity in how you wrote it helped me to relate too.
    Well done.

  • 11 years ago

    by Meggie33

    If i were ever to be without my cell phone i dont know how i would survive lol! i really enjoyed reading this poem. The comment you left about the style i use when i write (two lines) didn't really affect me until i read this poem and saw how much better it was than a lot of my stuff... well i got lots of your stuff to go comment... so just to let you know, I really liked this poem..
    even though we have had our arguements before,
    lots of luv* and respect,

    **meggie**

  • 11 years ago

    by *~vixen~*

    Very good poem, i lost my cell once, but it turns out my bro put it down the toilet.

    *~vixen~*