Sitting in my room. My pillow is drenched with tears. My old toy bunny, soggy from the gasps and cries these past 2 years. Memories scattered on the floor. Staring at your smile.
Wishing I hadn't left. I want to go back. I made a mistake. I moved here 2 years ago now.. And I still feel the pain. The pain in my heart that has and never will go away.
You made me who I am today, You taught me how to smile. You taught me how to be proud and to love me for who I am.
But now you're not next to me anymore. Now I'm a mess. Crying every night. My heart ripped to shreds. I've been through it all.
I'm only 12.. Pretty young.. But I knew you since the start.
You were the only support I had. Holding me up. Keeping me from falling.
Never have I felt this pain.
I was normal, a normal happy girl. With a best friend and a loving family.
Until that day.. Crying and crying.. My heart felt like stone.. I felt afraid, to face life without you is impossible it seems. Cos you were apart of me. And now you're gone. No wonder I feel so empty, So alone.
A tear on my cheek, One last goodbye was all I had, I cried and cried and my heart.. just sank... The words are so unexpalinable.
But I thought at this age.. I thought I was meant to be happy.. But I'm not.. I get teased because I'm me.. Not a popular pretty fake doll like the rest. I got teased because I tried to remember to laugh and smile and think happy. But I couldn't hold on. The pain just kept coming and coming. Its like holding on to a smile when Its fading away. Impossible to keep. Impossible to let go.
They all think I am weird, I hear whispers when I walk away. I hear giggles and them repeating what I just said.
If you were hear you'd be teaching them a lesson or two. But you're not. I wish you were but you're not and I miss you so. You were my everything.
My best friend, Making everything feel wonderful. My sister, a shoulder to cry on. My teacher, you taught me which mistakes not to make. I will never forget you.
I wish this pain would go. You are my best friend. My life. My happiness. And you're gone now... I'm left to face life alone. Reaching for a hand that isn't there anymore.
My heart is impossible to find. How can it still be breaking when it died when I moved. I'm so sad. I'm too young I want to be happy. But it is so hard. When your best friend is gone.
This is dedicated to Jessica Louise Wendy Hurley my best friend ever who is also 12 years old.