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by emmerz Aug 21, 2006
Friendship, family /
This is about my weekend at a camp in point roberts, washington (USA) with my church youth group....enjoy!
Across the border, to the middle of nowhere
For some reason everyone wants to go there
The sun is bright, the grass is damp
At Point Roberts Fellowship Camp
If I sing a song, I hope you sing along
As we wash the dishes with a soap so strong
And eat the food so deliciously prepared
Its true that everybody wants to be there
Down at the beach, not down by the bay
Is where we went to swim that day
The water was cold but the mood was just right
Basking beneath the sunshine's light
When playing scum we shouted out echos
While we all dove in and tried a Necco
He was right, they were good...but not as good as he said
But we all made him think that he started a trend
Sitting on the dock with a handful of muscles
Laughing as the boat going by seems to struggle
Reminiscing and remembering the good times we've had
Smiling and overall feeling glad
The feeling I felt underneath the stars
Of you rocking me in your arms
Made me so complete I didn't know what to say
So I just sat and listened to your voice come my way
The fire was big, and so was the sound
Of the mysterious animal with a call so loud
Some of us jumped, some even screamed
Yet we all laughed so hard we couldn't breathe
All the inside jokes, from pasta to mice
Made me laugh and not think twice
About returning to this place where the fun never ends
Right there... where I've made the best of my friends
Emily i love your work and you already know that but i jsut cant stop reading this poem since i miss it too. i love you emily
by disturbed one
by twisted reality
Aww it's cute. I liked the memories in this. It brought back some of my own.
The flow was ok, but could be fixed in a couple places. If you made some lines as long as others, it would work out more. Keep it up. =) 5/5 xoxo
Another sweet write. I guess you need to be there to understand some of the references but it sounds like fun.
That was really cute, too.
"The water was cold but the mood was just right
Basking beneath the suns light"
This bit here sounded a bit off, because there's a lot more syllables in the top line than the bottom. If you were to change the bottom line to:
"Basking beneath the sunshine's light" it would sound a bit better.
Overall: really good.