This was so good i love this part"Her true, passionate love passed away.
And her world turned to black and gray.
With her mourning, she starts to sing.
She concludes her song with a broken wing"i think that is really beutiful i love it
Wow this peom was amazing, it completely brain washed me, i felt so into the poem that i didnt even hear my phone (that was right next to me) lol.. you are a very powerful writer, and you created this fantacy atmoshpere around me.. loved it.. truly inspriational... the only thing i would say prehaps that you should think about changing is in the stanza that you wrote 'come' on the second to last line, and 'become' on the last line... but still a 5/5..
please could you read, comment and rate on some of my poems please, it would be much apprechiated.... Kirsty xxx
Actually, this poem was not as bad as you think it is. Some of those poems that come off the top of our heads are the best. They usually have a good flow, like this one does. So well done with this one.