Comments : Stay With Me.

  • 11 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    This is a really sweet poem .
    It reaches out and grabs ppls attention .
    Keep it up .
    ..ღ__MiNDYY

  • 11 years ago

    by A Christoffer

    All ur poems are so sweet! i liked the pause between each line was timed perfectly, i thought that maybe haveing punctuation might have helped though. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    Very Good! You chose to half rhyme... and not... lol it still worked out great though! I liked to story line ... hooks you very good...
    Fixers:
    Your head against mine,
    and lips together tight.
    When I'm in your arms,
    you protect me with
    all your might.

    maybe you could ...
    Your head against mine,
    and our lips together
    When I'm in your arms,
    You must protect me forever...
    or something in those lines... OR you can just leave it how it is... just stickin my nose in ..
    adkaljda n e wayz
    GREAT POEM !!!!!!!!!
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by just a little girl

    Sweet, everyone wants the person they love to stay with them and this poem applies to everyone. it was well written and i must say that this is my favourite poem of yours

  • 11 years ago

    by Minkus

    Though this poem was good, I gave it a four for two reasons. One: The ending seemed anticlimactic, mainly because you used the same word at the end of both lines, making the rhyme weak. Two: The rhythm doesn't seem very clear to me. This wouldn't be a problem if the poem was freestyle, but it rhymes, and so it should have a more discernible rhythm. You may want to try writing some poems freestyle; you, like many poets, seem to have fallen into the trap of thinking that poems have to rhyme, which isn't true at all. Like I said at the beginning, good job overall. (I'm a pretty tough grader, so don't be disappointed if because I didn't give you a five.)

  • 11 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    But though still this poems means a lot to me... nice job

  • 11 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    Good again!
    Flow was constant and twas easy to read =]
    I liked how it wasn't to complicated and just something to relate to. Well done.

  • 11 years ago

    by Becky

    Wow, it was almost creepy reaing this, me and my baby are going through just about they same thing. It's hard it really is, but you'll pull through, and always remember that you can live without him, it's just that you don't want to.

    lots of love
    *~*Becky*~*

  • 11 years ago

    by Mousie

    Another good one... good job, keep it up 5/5

  • It was neat, work on flow a little bit, other than that.. wonderfull job

  • 11 years ago

    by monika

    Nice poem :) really great

  • 11 years ago

    by ForeverGoneInYourEyes

    My situtation exactly hanging on lol keep up the ggod work

  • 10 years ago

    by Bryan Raff

    Good poem, was nice to read

  • 10 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Although your rhyme scheme and the flow was off, it was a sweet poem. Nice job.

  • 10 years ago

    by Curry

    This is one of my favorites of your that i have read. you are an amazing writer. i really enjoy reading your poems!