Comments : The Photo of You

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I loved this, you have a real talent for capturing imagery, and that's what I loved so much about this one.
    I was thrown a little at the end as the last stanza was longer than the others, but apart from that, this was beautiful.

  • 10 years ago

    by Cindy

    I loved this poem of yours. I live with a photograph. The seniment is so strong in this write. Excellent Job!

  • 10 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    Hmmm... This one had me confused. Is it an internet relationship, or is she away, or is she dead... lol sorry. Maybe it's just because it's late and I've been here for hours. lmao. Good job all the same

    Ciao~

  • 10 years ago

    by Pete

    The longer last stanza throws you off balance a bit - you're not quite sure how you're supposed to read it. I still really like the idea of this though, you put into words what everyone feels when their with the one they love. Great work. 4/5 but only because i got confused on the last stanza.

  • 10 years ago

    by gack60

    Hmm is it meet or met in the last line cos that gives a whole new meaning to the poem iif its meet then its like a relationship that was built through communication like letters and email etc.

    excellent structure tho

    loved it

    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I honestly don't understand this rating I guess because you have so many votes it has become lower. To me this deserves a 5/5 simply for the way you have made this poem express your feelings. I'm sure amny people can relate to this poem I know I can and it has been a pleasure to read your poetry as your love poems hold such much warmth. A delicate poem. I can't say much more except well done. keep on writing so that I can keep on reading amazing poetry. ~Mel

  • 10 years ago

    by Polaroid

    Hey i love your poems they are so well written, YOU ARE GENIUS, and since your so good i was wondering if you could vote and comment on some of my poems, It would be greatly appreciated... Thx.... KEEP IT UP

  • This was sweet but honestly it was a little off for me.I'm not really sure what it was...maybe it was the flow of it or maybe it was the word choice.I don't know

  • 9 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    "You are the light
    That shines down on me
    When I am sad
    And when I'm not" ~wonderful line, in my own opinion. I love it =]
    Beautiful metaphor.

    The thing I find in the poems that I have commented is that your poems are a bit choppy. I wish that they had more of a flow, that they seemed to just slip off of the tongue like water. Your poems are good, and the idea's good, but they way you present them seems to be a bit amaturish, not to be rude though, for I know you must put thought into them.

    This poem was very choppy. I did try to enjoy it though, and I did.
    It is a cute poem, and I love the little 'last-verser' you put in the end stating that this love is one person who is not in your present, but will be in your future. I love how it is only a hope and not an actuality.

    Great job on this poem, but a little choppy.
    I think it's a four.oh

    Nice job,

    5/5
    ~Stephen White

  • 9 years ago

    by The Queen

    Uffhh..that was amazing poem...:D..soo sweet....i know the feeling of how eager you are to meet that girl....i have sum1 who will come down in March and we'll be seein each other for the first time..yehey..

  • 9 years ago

    by Lets Keep it A Surprise

    I liked the vivid images portrayed, and how it seems to reflect not only sadness but hope as well :)

    eh thats just me though ^_^

  • 9 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    Oh, this was very creative, for its short length.
    I suggest for this line
    "Your Radiant smile"
    to make the "r" in "Radiant" lowercase.
    I dont know why.. lol

    I also suggest adding punctuation. It bugs me when people don't put it on there, but for some its not a problem.

    I hope you two will meet soon! Sounds amazing. XD

    5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Sarah

    Aww. That was Delectable, charming, and passionate. Great choice of words. I loved the imagery, it was cute.

    5.5

  • What a great poem 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    The ending was completely unexpected. I really enjoyed that part. When I was reading it, it seemed as if the person in this poem was talking about someone that they had loved and lost not someone that they were waiting to meet. Well done I've never read a poem like that before very original and I really liked it.

  • 3 years ago

    by Gwen Davis

    I see your point about the filler words...simple is best. I love this one as well!

  • 5 months ago

    by Lauren Crandall

    I really enjoy this. I read it first as though they passed away, but then I realized it was "day we meet" not meet again. It has a smooth rhythm and is simple, but sweet and not childish.

    A few minor things:

    I wish it was* real
    The photo of you
    I wish you where* near
    So I could touch your soft skin

    'was' should technically be 'were', for grammatical purposes.
    Was is past tense, which would mean " I wish this photo used to be real, but now it is real", whereas I think you mean "I wish that this photo would be real (now)"

    Similarly, 'where' should be 'were'. Where is the location, were is the subjunctive of be (see above).