Comments : If you were...

  • 11 years ago

    by FlirtingWithDeath

    OMG Joe this poem was sooooo cute =]This will make Liz like smile big time....so beautiful. Wonderful Job Italian man. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by whitney

    Great poem great emotion made me cry...lol...no lie i love all ur poems keep up good work. :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Some Random Human

    M'Azing Joe, simple M'Azing. It was beautiful like a man and woman loving each other, and they're beautiful and stuff. Great stuff. A definate five, yo.

  • 11 years ago

    by Cyma Khan

    A very beautiful poem i really enjoy readinng ur poems u r gr8!!!

    God bless u

  • 11 years ago

    by The Lonely Rose

    Awwww.......very nice poem..it was just made me go awwww....lol keep writing!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    Great job!

    Problems:
    I'm picky about... sentence structure... Such as: And That I'd never want to lose... That needs to be uncapitalized... add some commas and periods it helps the reader pause and it makes the poem flow smoother...

    Goodies:

    I LOVED IT! I love your story, it makes me smile! I love your last stanza the best!

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by locky

    Very nice very good great writing

  • 11 years ago

    by Poetess

    Awe. Joe, this was realllly sweeet!!! Me loved it. Sorry my comments are dumb but I just can't write anything useful! Blah. This was cute and sweet and stuff. 5/5

    -Poetess

  • 11 years ago

    by ShhhhItsASecret©

    One minor thing... "if you where"

    Where should be were*

    "just knowing your in my presence"

    you're*

    "then I'd know you where in my life forever"

    were*

    Okay, now that I've edited the grammar, time to tell you what I think lol. Let's see... I absolutely love it. The imagery is great. You definitely display your love for this girl very well! Well done, Sloppy Joe. 5/5 from me :)

    ~BJ~

  • 11 years ago

    by ImmortalKitty

    Very nice...heart felt...not much construction...but i can still feel what ur trying to express

  • 11 years ago

    by SADADDY

    Wow, that was a wonderful write, You can feel the love with each word. Excellent Job! 5/5

    sadaddy

  • 11 years ago

    by Mark

    A very nice poem indeed. I loved the emotion and all the expression .. I loved how it just flowed and everything. It was a piece that I truly like. A very good job! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Katie Bug :)

    Yet again another great poem Joe! Great job. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by NothingGoldCanStay

    Joe! Ohmy! This poem is sooooo sweet.

    It's awesome.

    I gave a five.

    I loved the last stanza, it was really lovely.

    -.- Take Care,
    N-G-C-S.

  • I loved it. Its very sweet. Good job 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Mousie

    I liked this poem, it was good... work on your flow again, but it was really cute. nice poem, 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Joey Matthews

    Very nice write joe!.. good work,

    not sure what else to say, but i enjoyed reading it buddy! ~joey

  • 11 years ago

    by courtney

    Omg that is so sweet if im correct its about Liz and shes lucky to have you

  • Wow, this is a beautiful poem... loved it, great use of words to create emotion...

  • 11 years ago

    by emmerz

    Holding me close and kissing each other
    Moments after we said, "I Do"

    aww i like how you ended this one! very nice job... i cant seem to put my finger on anything that needs work... keep it up!