I'm picky about... sentence structure... Such as: And That I'd never want to lose... That needs to be uncapitalized... add some commas and periods it helps the reader pause and it makes the poem flow smoother...
I LOVED IT! I love your story, it makes me smile! I love your last stanza the best!
Okay, now that I've edited the grammar, time to tell you what I think lol. Let's see... I absolutely love it. The imagery is great. You definitely display your love for this girl very well! Well done, Sloppy Joe. 5/5 from me :)