Comments : I Can't Take This Anymore

  • 11 years ago

    by Darien

    This poem was very long, but it was also very interesting. When I read the last part of the poem, I wondered if it was a question out of context, then realized it was still part of the poem. Just in case you had a similar question for God.

    "Why did he hurt me so bad at just three years old
    And why did I take my own life at five years old? "

    First, God doesn't hurt you. People do.
    Second, that's a question you would ask yourself.

    God gave us free-will, he just watches over us, and tries to protect us. I know when I'm sad and need someone to talk to, it seems so much easier to confide in a super-natural being than a human being. Also, at times, it really does seem as if pray really works. Not all the time, but in times when I am most desperate.

    Well anyways, back to the poem. Very interesting. The first verse threw me off a little, because I wondered.

    "Today there are no bruises on my face" [Wouldn't the bruises of yesterday still be there, it's as if they disappeared]
    Do I thought you should write, 'new' bruises or something to clear it up, but then again.. I am picky :P

    Next, the rhyme scheme was awesome. To keep it going for so long, well kudos to you. The story, was great, and I really enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. It was a very sad poem, throughout. At times it was bitter and angry, but then went back to being sad. Really good work here. And no, I'm not trying to write a comment as long as your poem! :P haha.. good stuff!

  • 11 years ago

    by someoneimnot

    Beauty comes in many forms. your poem was one of them.

  • 11 years ago

    by Kalgalath

    This is close to being the best poem ive ever read! i like it lots.

  • 11 years ago

    by Allison

    This one was very sad, but lets you see that there are problems in society. That not everything is perfect, even when it appears to be.

    *5/5*

  • 11 years ago

    by goddess-glamourpuss

    That was a really great read. For such length you managed to not only maintain strong pace and flow but a rhyme scheme that didn't come across as forced.

    This had quote a few twists and turns that helped to maintain the interest. Like the beginning saying it was quiewt made me think that it would be a hopeful poem about the abuse coming to an end. Then there were the brutal scenes which were as voyeuristically gripping as they were shocking.

    But for me the best shock came the age of the child. I don't know quite what made me assume that the author was a lot older (maybe the word choice?) but that she took her own life too was another great sting in the tale. For me the story was leading to her taking her father's life.

    A really strong and evocative write worthy of a centennial poem.

  • Wow, very long poem, but yet it kept me intrigued with its powerful and emotive words... very sad, ur use of words showed ur feelings and hurt clearly... 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Jessica

    Omg. That was so f.ucking sad hun. Oh my god, I'm in tears. That was awful. I hate to think about things like this, that it actually happens in the world. It is absolutely disgusting. This was an excellent poem, it describes what happens to young children everywhere perfectly. Nicely done 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by ReBecca

    Oh honey, how sad...Child abuse is so heartbreaking.

  • 11 years ago

    by sasha Rashell hall

    Omg it is so sad but i like it alot and kids getin beat up and stuff like that it so wrong and kids should not have to go though that

  • 11 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Very sad and powerful write. You started it out strong. It is a bit long for my taste. You may want to check your spelling and grammar again. keep it up

  • 11 years ago

    by TheWorldFellNUWerentThere

    Omg that was so sad. I loved it. absoutely loved it! 100/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Roxy

    Omg, i don't know how explain but this is so sad it practually took my heart apart and wow im so emotional right now that i dont know how to explain what i feel for this poem all i can say is that it was sad but its more than that it has lots of emotion and expressions. great job!!
    xoxroxyxox

  • 11 years ago

    by ashley

    You did an exellent job you placed alot of stuff in that poem that i wanted to get out and it helped me so thank you although if you were treated like this im so sorry ur father is supposed to love you...mine never did..i really think you did an exellant job and i felt what you were saying i felt like i was that kid you really pulled me in as if i was there...

  • 11 years ago

    by Teria

    Long, but a really good poem.

    I didn't like the ending, though..

    "Why did he hurt me so bad at just three years old
    And why did I take my own life at five years old?

    Because God does not hurt you, he makes no mistakes. The devil however, makes many.
    And, as I said .. for the second part, he makes no mistakes. So, there's reasons behind all, hun.

    4.7/5 ( I'll go ahead and give you 5..lol) It was a great poem, hope you have many more coming!

  • 11 years ago

    by lost soul

    Wow, i think im speechless, that was so powerfull, i really liked it, was very sad, but im sure that was the point. 5/5!

  • 11 years ago

    by schylar

    Hi, my name is schylar. i read this poem and by the end i was almost in tears, thats deep but honestly one of the best pieces i've ever read. if you'd like to talk e-mail me @ shortieluv313@aol.com

  • 11 years ago

    by Ronnie

    Oh my god. I have written over 50 poems and read countless poems but yours was by far the best thing i have ever heard. so much better then mine i very in to it. I like how you described things, you know, not to much information but just enoughf to keep us reading. I really loved it.

  • 11 years ago

    by Inside the Liar

    This poem made me feel sick. i loved it, but it made me feel like throwing up because of its context. ive never understood how anyone could do such a thing to a child. i really did love it. good job. very good job.

  • 11 years ago

    by amanda

    Words cannot explain what i feel about this poem its really good

  • 11 years ago

    by felicia N

    This was a really good poem, its one of the best i have eva read