Hm. Very interesting. I really enjoyed this.
But, you seemed to have forgotten the rhyming half way through the poem; the flowed stayed alright, but the rhyming didn't.
And, may I suggest a few commas and periods? That would also help the flow.
Keep it up, very nicely done.
Wow. it was a beautiful poem. the words itself are just brilliant. however, i think you need to format it a little better. add commas , periods, anf capiltal letters(even though this comment lacks capital letters). I think at one point of the poem you could have made it another stanza.
Beautiful! This poem flowed so well. The length was short, but I think it really worked for this poem. The rhyming confused be because it rhymed in some places and didn't in others. Like the others said I think you need to put some comma's and periods, it would make the poem a lot better. Your use of words was great, ver descriptive. You did a lovely job writing this!