Very descriptive, some great images, and though a dark and sad poem, one that ends with a note of hope for the future-keep that shred of optimsm to light the darkness! Remember, the past is gone, really there is only the now, which allows the future to be whatever we make it. Write on!
Peace, Poetry & Power,
This was really good, When I saw 13 I must admit I expected much less,I was much surprised to find that kind of maturity in your poem, Allowing whats in your subconcience mind to come back to your concience mind so that you can deal with it is a great step forward in healing from anything. very good write. thank you for your comment,that was definately not my best poem,I was just venting a little frustration,thank you though.
The poem could use some added descriptions and tightning up. It's nowhere near a five poem, in fact I doubt a famous poet's even is. It does have maturaity of thought, so let's see where that takes you.
U must have an outstanding imagination or a really terrible past...but ill bet on imagination cause ur still 11....too young to be a cynic...wont u say?
anyways...this one...disregarding ur age...a 5/5...take into consideration ur age...id have put a 6/5....bravo