I'm Content With Losing

by Avrii Monrielle   Mar 8, 2007


There is no escape,
Or so it seems
Nobody is smiling
And I've lost all my dreams

The sky, murky gray
I can't find the light
Buried in darkness
It's so hard to fight

The wind touches shoulders
With its vile, bitter kiss
The nights just get colder
And the past's always missed

I never am perfect
I can't trust myself
I'm too scared to ever
Ask someone for help

It's too much to handle
Expectations so high
Unfound relaxation
Is making me tired

Just once, I wish
I could miss nothing
I'd finally be
Someone worth loving

Torn half by sadness,
Ripping apart
The other from anger
Because of my heart

My heart says, "Unloved"
My mind says, "Quit crying"
In the end, I can't help
But think about dying

I'm scared of myself
I live inside fear
Under the mask
Grow thousands of tears

Just once, I wish they'd realize
The problem deep inside
I soon begin to pine
There is nowhere to hide

My sadness is a picture
Of many insecurities
From chubby to too-thin
Smartness to stupidity

But, if I flip it over
And try to see the truth
I see the possibilities
And nothing to lose

Sketched onto the other side
Of my picture of sadness
Is a girl with the brightest smile
Heart filled to brim with gladness

Her lips, they say, "Don't worry"
Her cheeks, they warm with cheer
Her eyes, they shine so prettily
Reflecting no knowledge of fear

She lives for the present, forever
She doesn't dwell on the future or past
She builds herself up from the inside
For character that will always last

I touch the sketch, and all of a sudden
I find myself being her
Smiling among all the sadness
Loving and healing the hurt

The skies don't seem gray, they seem bright blue
The clouds, a soft, puffy, white
Later on, I can see the sunset
And then see the stars of the night

I don't need a perfect one hundred
I think over zero is fine
I know the true meaning of happy
And now, every new day does shine

I don't care about being pretty
I've built myself up from inside
I won't focus on dying and bleeding
I won't waste time trying to hide

Resolutions are meant for every day
Not just for this one alone
I won't falter at little, petty mistakes
Or messed-up problems at home

I'm content with losing,
When I pass tests, I cheer
When I get praised for being myself
My heart's filled with love that lasts years

I'm happy for once,
I will be every day
No matter the problems
Things will always change

Hey, want to try it?
Be content, like me...
Reach out, touch the picture
Get the chance to be free

Every time you feel sadness
Flip over that picture
See the smile on the other side
Forget all your hurts

When you feel like crying
Don't feel to upset
You're allowed to let it out
And have some regrets

Be content with losing
It is so much fun
And, little by little,
You'll find out you've won

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Chelsey

    My heart says, "Unloved"
    My mind says, "Quit crying"
    In the end, I can't help
    But think about dying

    ^^ When I reached this part of your poem I was like "oh no the devil got a hold of another teen" but thankfully at then end your message portrayed a very positive message. I'm very glad I finished reading this whole thing and didnt stop in the middle as others would do.
    Unfortunatly there are thousands of young teens who feel like this but they are the unlucky ones because they dont know how to flip the picture over and see the brighter side. But it takes osmeone like you, who has a story ,to witness to them about being yourself and not trying to be someone your not, and please people to be someone your not. You remind me of me when I was an early teen....well like 3 years ago, You speak with such wisdom and maturity at such a young age and thats great to read/see!
    I loved this poem and the message behind it! I'll be sure to check out some more of your work!
    Chelsey

    God is love....always remember that

  • 17 years ago

    by becca

    I really love the ending to this poem because it is so powerful and meaningful. iv been reading some of your other work and you are really talented- your poems are awesome! keep it up!!! ;-)