Comments : As We Dance

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaila

    Woah!! The emotion and everything just jumped out at me you have extreame talent!!! keep it up 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    The world stops for a moment in your eyes.
    Everything disappears when you bestow a kiss.
    Sweetheart, I'm amazed by your love you have.
    You always show it in your everlasting bliss.

    I love those lines .
    This was beautiful & sweet, but not in a cheesy way . I just really love it . From beginning to end . Vivid & the emotions captured jumped out and grabbed me from the very first verse (:
    Well done .
    ..__MiNDYY

  • 17 years ago

    by LithiumSacrifice

    Awe. ^_^ i think its so cute. i love the imagery you create. its amazing.. you have very beautiful wirting. 5/5 excellent.

  • 17 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    I liked the feeling hold me when i was reading this,it's love i mean,you really penned it good
    Keep it up hun
    Way to go!

  • 17 years ago

    by Gemmie Lou

    I really liked this hun again its all so heartfelt x x x

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    Cette poesie etait tres bon! Vous avez la grande emotion en cela. Votre rimer etait etonnant et l'ecoulement etait tres bon! Vous m'impressionnez vraiment. Vous avez choisi un vocabulaire de stong aussi bien. C'etait ma partie preferee:

    Le monde s'arrete pendant un moment dans vos yeux.
    Tout disparait quand vous accordez un baiser.
    Cheri, je suis stupefie par votre amour que vous avez.
    Vous le montrez toujours dans votre bonheur eternel.

    Tres Bien!

    (This poem is very good! You put a lot of emotion in it. You rhyming was great and the flow was very good! You really impress me. You chose a strong vocabulary as well. This was my favorite part:

    The world stops for a moment in your eyes.
    Everything disappears when you bestow a kiss.
    Sweetheart, I'm amazed by your love you have.
    You always show it in your everlasting bliss.)

    Great Write :)

    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by jarrod

    Its always difficult to write a love poem and actualy pull it off. i think you did rather well. the vocab is a great touch and stucture shows thought and brooding which means you care. thats what i like about it. having said that ill add 1 constructive criticism. I myself was having a flow problem reading it. if you agree try working on that. GOOD WORK --jarrod.

  • 17 years ago

    by Kristina

    Wow this is really good! i defiantly enjoyed reading this! it had so much emotion in it! the flow was very well. 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni

    This was so sweet! you conjured such lovely images in my head! wow! keep up the amazing work! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by BrixGoesxRawr

    WOW. This was amazing.. It flowed so well & the rhymes were great. Nothing seemed forced at all. The imagery & promise in this piece is just so wonderful & beautiful. You shouldn't change a thing.. It's absolutley perfect.

    Simply amazingly beautifully penned. :]

    Bri [x]

  • 17 years ago

    by becca

    Such a relaxing and refreshing poem! keep it up! xXx

  • 17 years ago

    by Tara

    Omg! amazing poem girl! you have a real talent!
    "Listening to the music playing in our heads.
    As we dance to the melody our hearts make.
    Moving our feet in a rhythm soft and sweet.
    After all this time I found love's not a mistake."

    i loved this part, it almost made me cry! lol just beautiful----tara----