Comments : Daddy's story

  • 11 years ago

    by Dee

    Excellent! 5/5 very good imagery and use of words. i really really like this poem!

  • 11 years ago

    by twisted reality

    I liked this poem a lot! Great word choice and flow. 4/5 xoxo


  • 11 years ago

    by David

    Oh this is such a sad poem. how you added you into this was emotional. well done but it did bring a tear to my eye.

    great work. 5/5 from your friend always, david

  • 11 years ago

    by xo kisses xo

    Awe *tear* that is so sad.

    xoxo kisses

  • 11 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    I liked this poem. it was sad, but still amazing. but then again the sad poems are usually the best ones.

  • 11 years ago

    by BrixGoesxRawr

    Omg. awe ;/ So so sad. This was so full of emotion. Tears were brought to my eyes ;[ For a true story [I believe] you did amazing.. it flowed so well & the rhymes were good. Nothing seemd at all too forced.

    In the little girl got, overwhelmed
    ^ I don't get that line.. Well, I think I do. I just don't think it's grammatically correct. maybe something like ''Then the little girl got overwhelmed'' or something like that?

    Haha. anyways. So breathtaking & touching..

    Beautiful, m'darlin'.

    Bri [x]

  • 11 years ago

    by Poetess

    This was a heartbreaking piece. I love the detail and description you used...I can picture it all happening in my head. Just one thing...I think the ending could've been a little different in wording maybe...I dunno it seemed to just stop quickly. Idk I can't really explain what I'm tryina say but it doesn't really matter. This was an amazing write all in all. I loved it. Keep writing! 5/5

    ` Liz

  • 11 years ago

    by UnToLd TrUtH

    Aww this is really sad. It brought tears to my eays. Wonderfully written 5/5

    <UnToLd TrUtH>

  • 11 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    That was definitely heartbreaking. The rhyming flowed really well and overall I really enjoyed the read.

  • 11 years ago

    by azii

    Nice poem.
    The rhyming is great.

    Fabulous job! 4/5

    Keep it up

  • 11 years ago

    by firexdancer

    This is too sad, i almost cried just reading it, it flows perfectly, and wow, it was beautiful, 5/5 you are an amazing writer

  • 11 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    Wow so sad,is this really happened?
    Then please don't worry yourself,in life everything is possible,The flow and wording was great
    Keep it up

  • 11 years ago

    by Teria

    Okay, in the 10th stanza your comma should be after ' overwhelmed '

    Other than that ONE mistake,t his poem was amazing, and it made me cry.
    It was extremely touching, and sad.

    I'm so sorry, hun.
    If you need anything I'm here, ...even though we don't know each other.
    Baha. :] Im still here to talk to.

    10/5 :]
    ^ i wish I could give that vote!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Roxy

    That is such a good poem..I loved the last stanzas the most they made you wonder what was about to happen next and you where determine to find out!!
    It is suck a sad but yet interesting poem!!

  • 11 years ago

    by David

    Hey this poem is very sad. i wish i could be there with you to let you cry. i am always here if you need someone to talk to. k?

    5/5 david

  • 11 years ago

    by Carmen

    Aww... thats so sad. but it seems threww the middle u repeated the story over again... why did he die? it was very sad and i like how u put it in the POV of a little girl very nice

  • 11 years ago

    by Jessica

    Oh my gosh, that is so sad. The flow was great and the rhymes worked. The descriptions were simple and gave it a uniqueness. I love it, keep it up hun. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Mousie

    Omg i can't even begin to imagine what you have gone through. what happened?? how did he die? that was what left you hanging at the end, like you have an idea that he's dead, but like you have no idea what happened. beautiful poem though, you kept my attention the entire time and wrote very nicely, good wording and flow. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Bryce

    Hey, Thanks for the comment on one of my poems. I love short poems, and i like to right them because it gets the reader to think about it more and question it, T.S. Eliot made a lot of short poems and they are amazing. Well thanks again

  • 11 years ago

    by amoxi

    Wow this poem was anmzing, it has ao much emotion and it was a nice touch to put it in a little s view, i loved it very nice job you're a great writer 5/5!