Comments : One last time

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This is a good poem. well done, its a good talent you are showing so keep it up. hope you are ok. take kare xxxxx

  • 9 years ago

    by The DaveJon

    Very moving. I like the flow and the emotions that lay both on and under the surface. Good Job 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by lalalailoveyou

    I like this poem alot... great job!

  • 9 years ago

    by Teria

    "Even sun shining above me"
    ^ You should add 'the' after Even.
    -----
    "Fades as dropping from the sky"
    ^That doesn't really make sense. :/ I get what you're saying though.
    ------
    "begins again"
    ^ Both of those words rhyme with the above word, therefore you should change the word 'begins' or take out the word 'again'.
    -----

    I loved this poem, it was a great write. And, I'm soo sorry for you loss, hun. I hope you're doing okay. <3 I really like this poem, and as I was reading I was like.. I wonder if she's talking about an ex or something, you know. Because, it was like.. that kinda poem. But, you weren't. The story behind it, I guess gives it so much more meaning than what readers think before they read it all.
    This is a great poem, and the fact that it came from deep within makes it even greater than anyone can imagine, except you.

    I loved it.
    Keep it up. <3
    5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by ImNotPerfect20

    Good work!! very good poem.. Hope you are doing ok though.. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    I feel you walking away. = I see you walking away.

    Awesome job, Nice words. You have a few lowercase I's that could use fixing, but other than that it is flawless. Good job.

    5/5
    ~Stephen White

  • Another good poem.
    I'm sorry for your lose.

    'Everything is black
    Even sun shining above me
    Fades as dropping from the sky'

    Loved it ^^

    Keep it up 5/5

    [Sarah]

  • 9 years ago

    by Vanessa

    I loved this, again you did an excellent job. i am soo sorry for your loss. You have alot of talent, and I think as long as you keep expressing yourself though written words that you will get though it. Keep writting, and stay strong. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Oh my gosh!!....such a beautiful poem...sooo touching!!....there r few mistakes though which r pointed out in the earlier comments though...but the poem is all the same...Beautiful!
    Great wrk!5/5!
    xxPoojaxx

  • 9 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    I really like the opening line! I was really touch by this great poem! well writen! the flow was smooth! and sorry for your loss :(

  • 9 years ago

    by Sydney

    It put a vivid picture in my mind. The Description of the sun..I love that XD

  • 9 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    The imagery was there, and it was strong and i thought it was very powerful

  • 9 years ago

    by David

    Ah now that is sad. the words you used need to be more desriptive tho. but still this was good.

    5/5 David

  • 9 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Aww that is soo sad. Sorry for the
    loss. Very good and short poem.
    Well done God bless 5/5
    <3Tay(^_^)

  • A beautiful poem, sorry to hear about your friend. =( I have had many losses myself. It isn't an easy thing to go through.

    The flow of your poem wasn't the greatest, but it was powerful.

    I apologize if I'm being too harsh, I honestly don't mean to be, I just know that I want honesty, so I will only give honesty.

    Anyhow, you are very talanted, and you have great potential, so continue writing and posting. =)

    4/5
    ~Ally~

  • 9 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Wonderful poem.. filled with emotion.. the flow was good but a little off in the beging.. great job :D

  • 9 years ago

    by TheWorldFellNUWerentThere

    This is a great poem! Such a heartfelt poem. Loved it. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by waiting 4 some1

    Nice poem

  • 9 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    This is great. Must be well written by you!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by ali

    This is so touching and moving, the little note at the end nearly made me cry and gave the whole piece another meaning, awesome, heartbreaking stuff...
    5/5
    - ali xxxxxxx