The Wait

by Roses and lilys   Apr 5, 2007


The sun beaming down
through the window.
The wind flows to me,
not yet enough to cool.
God it's hot in here.

We are on are way.
To win or loss,
that I don't know,
but I know what to do,
when the time comes.

When we arrive the heat hits us
as we wait for the game to begin,
the heat is getting to everyone.
But the game must go on.
I really hope I can pull this off.

My stomach is in knots,
as I watch the JV team play.
Varsity is next to play I am ready.
It won't be easy I think I can it.
What choice do I have I'm part of a team.

I want to play and play hard
this is one thing I know how to do.
But it is not time, so I have to wait.
Till the JV's time runs out and ours begins.
God it's hot out here. I am being cook alive.

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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I thought this wasn't brilliant, the flow was rocky throughout the last 3 stanza's, and overall the structure was great, though it lacked emotion, I suggest and only suggest that you cut down on the line length, and remove some fillers.
    There were some good things like the opening stanza and the structure.
    Good job
    xxxx

  • 9 years ago

    by XxHiis BooxX

    I think this poem was good,
    but kinda of confusing, but i understood what you meant, and wat not. so i give you a 4/5.

  • 9 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    This poem is really interesting. It is another breath of fresh air from your other poems.

    I felt that his poem lacked the heart that the others had. There were points where there were a lot of grammar errors.

    To win or loss,

    It should be "To win or lose, "

    The flow was up and down, it went from 4-6 syllables to about 10-15 syllables.

    I think that this poem is really unique. I enjoyed the read and feel that there should be more of these types of poems around, different from the cliche type.

    Very well done.
    4/5

  • 10 years ago

    by bleeding limegrenn

    I thing it was ok it was amazing or any thign but it was crapy 4/5

  • 10 years ago

    by KeyxMashingxParody

    4/5 it was alright, confusing to me.