I hate feeling this way

I'm sick of feeling this way
I hate this overwhelming feeling of pain
And I hate the fact that I feel this way
Because you used my love in vain

Look what you've done to me
Look what I've become
You just sat there this whole time
Watching me slowly coming undone

You're so oblivious to everything
How much I loved you,
How you treated me,
And even what you put me through

You know, I really thought you loved me
But I guess that was nothing but a big lie
You said you'd be here till the end
But in the end, you left me here to die

I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep
I had no one to talk to
I felt like I was worthless
Like I was nothing without you

I couldn't deal with the heartbreak
Crying could no longer help
I cut over and over
It's the only way I can calm myself

But I'm sick of being this way
And I know I'm better than this
But regardless of everything
For some reason, you're still the one I always miss

I really don't get it
You've broken my heart
Yet I still love you with every broken piece of it
Even though I'm still falling apart

Maybe deep down I believe
That what we once had was real
That you'll come back and put me back together
So that my heart can finally heal

I don't wanna be like this anymore
I want to change my life
I want to move on
And throw away the knife

But it's so hard
To really forget the past
Because every time things start to get better
It never lasts

All my feelings for you
That I keep inside
Never really go away
Because deep down is where they reside

I hope someday that I can forget you
Stop regretting, and learn to forgive
Because when that day comes
It'll be the day I really begin to live

[I like comments and it'd be nice if you would please rate my poem as well. Thank you.]