That was so darn cute!
The emotions were adorable - I had a huge smile on my face while reading.
The descriptions were very vivid.
& The flow was flawless.
Another, wonderful poem! Keep writing! 5.5
Yet another wonderful write from you. You do have a lot of talent, I like your writings, they all have such good flow and seem to come straight from the heart. Great work!
This line, "Bashful hand holding it is so sweet." Take out "is" it will flow much better.
This line, "Volleyball's next my heart is at race." put a comma between next and my so it reads "Volleyball's next, my heart is at race." The reason for this is because there is a pause when it's read.
This line, "Sweatshirts now it's getting bitter." I think would flow better if you changed it to, "Sweatshirts now for it's getting bitter."
This line, "Miserable now it's time to leave." I think would flow better if put a comma after miserable and before now, "Miserable, now it's time to leave." for there is a pause when read.
Awww that was so sweet.
At first I thought it was something completely different and then you brought 'him' into the poem. But awww Makes me wish I had nights like that.
The flow was great, and I liked the words that you used.
Keep up the good work. =)
I really liked it alot, but i only really got dragged in at the end. It was still good, so much emotion and it was really sweet.. i just wasn't quite pulled in at the start but thats just me. I still really enjoyed it and you have alot of talent well done. : )
That was a sweet peom. The descriptions were good enough to picture. The flow was perfect, very uplifting. The final stanza was just great and a perfect ending to your whole creation but still the best part was being able to envision your story as i read it. 5/5 keep up the good work
This was very good. I liked how at the end of ever single line, even though they were very short you put a period instead of a comma or anything like that it made the reader stop and think about each line before carrying on to the next one. It reminded me of a summer love story, and I really liked it. The only thing that I would change if I were you is I would add a metaphore or two so that what the reader is reading isnt exactally what they are getting out of the poem. Nice work though.
Well, i must say it was quite a surprise when i got to the "he" part...it looked like a poem about summer... i liked the choice of words, especially, but the way it flowed was also really nice...
"Vibrant laughter, around the fire.
Glistening glances at one another.
Her eyes shine like blue Sapphire."
-Beautiful imagery throughout this well written piece. The rhyme is constant and the poem possesses a good, solid flow. The use of emotive language aids the structure of the piece and holds it together nicely. Very well done :).