Comments : Summer bliss

  • 11 years ago

    by Vanessa

    That was so sweet. the emtions were clear, and the flow almost perfect. The word choices set the poem off and made it one of the great reads. You did an excellnt job 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by David

    Oh the love thru out this whole poem was excellent. it was great to read. the description was spot on and everything fell into place too. fantastic!

    5/5 David

  • 11 years ago

    by christina

    I like it!!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Curry

    Awhh i love this poem. you did a wonderful job on it. it flowed great and had a nice rhyming pattern. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Melpomene

    This poem was really sweet and cute. nicely written the flow was great showed really cute emotions which flowed nicely aswel. With good vocab. Well done~mel

  • 11 years ago

    by Bryan

    I like this
    this is a very good poem kaila
    i like the rhyme scheme,
    and the flow is great
    i give it a 5/5!!!
    keep it up!!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Stephanie

    That was so darn cute!
    The emotions were adorable - I had a huge smile on my face while reading.
    The descriptions were very vivid.
    & The flow was flawless.
    Another, wonderful poem! Keep writing! 5.5

    Stephanie Lynn .+.

  • 11 years ago

    by firexdancer

    Kaila, this poem just makes me happy, it's so beautiful and sweet it just brings a smile to the reader. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Yet another wonderful write from you. You do have a lot of talent, I like your writings, they all have such good flow and seem to come straight from the heart. Great work!

    This line, "Bashful hand holding it is so sweet." Take out "is" it will flow much better.

    This line, "Volleyball's next my heart is at race." put a comma between next and my so it reads "Volleyball's next, my heart is at race." The reason for this is because there is a pause when it's read.

    This line, "Sweatshirts now it's getting bitter." I think would flow better if you changed it to, "Sweatshirts now for it's getting bitter."

    This line, "Miserable now it's time to leave." I think would flow better if put a comma after miserable and before now, "Miserable, now it's time to leave." for there is a pause when read.

    Peace, Joe

  • 11 years ago

    by Lisa

    Awww that was so sweet.
    At first I thought it was something completely different and then you brought 'him' into the poem. But awww Makes me wish I had nights like that.
    The flow was great, and I liked the words that you used.
    Keep up the good work. =)

  • 11 years ago

    by Black Princess

    I really liked it alot, but i only really got dragged in at the end. It was still good, so much emotion and it was really sweet.. i just wasn't quite pulled in at the start but thats just me. I still really enjoyed it and you have alot of talent well done. : )

  • 11 years ago

    by ImNotPerfect20

    This is wonderful
    Nice flow
    And good imagry..

  • 11 years ago

    by Idiosyncratic

    Very descriptive-- really tells a story.
    Imagery and word choice are pretty good, too.
    Nice job-- 5/5.

  • 11 years ago

    by The Pessimistic Peabody

    That was a sweet peom. The descriptions were good enough to picture. The flow was perfect, very uplifting. The final stanza was just great and a perfect ending to your whole creation but still the best part was being able to envision your story as i read it. 5/5 keep up the good work

  • 11 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    This was very good. I liked how at the end of ever single line, even though they were very short you put a period instead of a comma or anything like that it made the reader stop and think about each line before carrying on to the next one. It reminded me of a summer love story, and I really liked it. The only thing that I would change if I were you is I would add a metaphore or two so that what the reader is reading isnt exactally what they are getting out of the poem. Nice work though.

  • 11 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    Very good, the word choice was superb. and your ryhming was smooth and didnt seem forced, i loved to see the way that you pulled it all together, nice job, 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    Hmmmm...beautiful imagery..ilove how u put all ur words in ur poet its clearly and very adorable.. ur so young and i cant imagine u have done a great job5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by isabel

    Well, i must say it was quite a surprise when i got to the "he" looked like a poem about summer... i liked the choice of words, especially, but the way it flowed was also really nice...
    keep going

  • 11 years ago

    by Fluffy

    "Vibrant laughter, around the fire.
    Glistening glances at one another.
    Her eyes shine like blue Sapphire."

    -Beautiful imagery throughout this well written piece. The rhyme is constant and the poem possesses a good, solid flow. The use of emotive language aids the structure of the piece and holds it together nicely. Very well done :).

  • 11 years ago

    by Roses and lilys

    Great poem. Thats my idea of a great summer day. It was wonderfully written and had great imagery. 5/5