It's horrofic. It give me the chills. 5/5. Nice writing.

Plz check out my poems if u had time. Best of luck.

Ray Blue

It's different and good. I liked this poem.

A spine-chilling write. Nicely penned, nonetheless. All the best!

I thought your first stanza was pretty revealing.
I don't know if I liked that...

Tip: A poem flows and looks better with punctuation.

Now you get to see,
You should change that.
It doesn't really sound all that great.

Your third stanza proves that this poem should be in dark

You know why I'm here[[,]] Anna
Comma before Anna.

Honestly?
Was this a movie or did you make this up?
Because if you made it up, it wasn't really creative...
I've seen a movie in lifetime something like this.

All in all.
It was pretty exciting.
But your grammar and flow were off.

I loved that it was mysterious
But you should have more discriptive words.
I believe that the words you have now are too simple.

All in all 4/5.

When all you do is stare
^ This didn't sound quite right to me.. Maybe make it "And all you do is stare". But your choice.

Doesn't mean I'm done....
^ I think this was a bit short compared to the other lines in the stanza. If you could jsut add in one more syllable I think it would sound better.

Wow, this was very good for your first dark poem. It was a bit storylike but I found it didn't effect the poem too much. The flow was good except for a few places and the descriptions helped us understand the poem better. I think this poem is about maybe someone being abused/raped/killed and maybe her friend or family member was there the whole time but she didn't help her because she couldn't hear what was going on? Well, that was my interpretation anyway. Nicely done. 5/5

Good write..well nice idea..Unique and it's really good for your first dark poem..the descriptions were good..
Kp it up!
5/5

xxPoojaxx

Wow, that was awesome. I could see it all happening, great imagery.
That was dark and scary.
A good read
much love, Tara-Kay
x

Hey,
I think its a good poem for a first time writing a dark poem. Its kind of long but that okay when I read the first stanza all I wanted to do was continue reading..it's just like a movie. I like the rhyming all though I must say that some rhymes sound a bit forced but thats just me..
anyway you deserve a 5/5 from me!
kisses stephanie

LORDY! this was ANGRY and full of frustration and revenge and sadness!!! i love the fact that all those emotions are so clear within the poem but i dont think the swearing was quite so important. You could get your point across with more imagery of blood and murder like u have in the rest of the poem rather than swearing, just a suggestion?
Geo =]

Holey shit that was crazy my heart was punding i could feel it omg...wow 10/5:P

Wow I hope you really didn't do that. But like amazing imaginary! What a powerful poem, sceary but that makes it so amazing. Angery is all over written on this poem. Keep up the amazing work!
5/5

Wow, that was creepy and scary.... but I loved it :D

The only thing I found was

And you should know your not leaving alive,

It should be you're

And near the end you put gues,
guess**

Ok just thought I'd say those,
Overall I really liked the poem,

Now I'm overjoyed,
Beacuse your murder was fun
But just because your dead
Doesn't mean I'm done....<3

^My favorite part, for some reason that made me laugh

The poem's really intense, with great wording, great flow, great imagery!

5/5 for sure!
Sky <3

Oh My God, how can you do this?! This is like an angels writing write here. That was amazing, the flow the word choice the topic. Amazing. Wow, I am so shocked. This is one of the best poems I have ever read! OMG, this was amazing. Intense is what that poem was, just pulls you into it. Not leaving you bored, makes you scarem for more! Amazing, 5/5!!

Woah!!! this poem wuz awesome and scary!! This poem wuz lik a lil story in which i luved but mayb u should change this line

"And you'll be in deep shit"

Maybe ryme it so it will go better..but overall this is a scary but very awsesome poem

This is really something else. I loved the ending, lol. It's crazy. Good work. 5/5

But just because your dead
Doesn't mean I'm done....<3

^you got to make another!!Those last lines had me on the edge of my seat. Love it!5/5

<3Amber

Holy s**t that was messed up but made me want more

Hm, well, wow. That was kind of creepy. I liked it, although I would have preferred if it wasn't so... blunt?:

"I stabbed you seven times..." -- I would have liked it better if you described this in a different way. It's just so... cliche? If you put more description into it, I would have liked it better.

Overall, it was a good try.

Woa this is a creepy intense poem! but a beautiful write!

You have such powerful flow of words... The description and intensity expressed in this poem is amazing...

The last stanza just made me go 'whoa!'
It's funny in a sadistic kind of way... Great poem! :)