Beautifully written poem, on the sad side of love. I definitley can't wait to read part 2 of this. There's was a nice flow and great rhyming until the last stanza (the rhyming was off) other than that It was a great piece. 5/5
Amazing flow, Honestly.. I was impressed with the flow. I love a poem that flows well. :]
You did an amazing job with this poem.
It's worded perfectly, has great emotion, and is really sad. Which, isn't always good, but it made the poem, eh.
Hmm that sounds sad, I cant wait for the rest of it!
Most males break up with people like that because, they either are really sad and dont know how to deal with their emotions,
or there just @$$^oles.
well thats only my opinion! lol
oh, and pm me when you write the next part, I really want to raed it!
I agree the unusual gender of the rival kind of surprised me the ending was thought provoking as I would have expected world in the place of word. Overal I believe the poem flowed nicely and delivered strong emotion.
"You made me feel special
You made my world real
And now you ignore me
Making my word surreal"
It made me connect to the time when I used to have a love unrequited; furthermore, the way you structure the poem was neat and excellent, along with a rather smooth flow. I further find this work quite sad and beautiful at the same time; it tugged my heart and soul completely. Your emotions were emanated by this piece quite effectively as well.
First, thank you for the comment on my poem, it's greatly appreciated.
Second, I like this one of yours, I'll be looking forward to the next part of it. The only thing I see, that a lot of people do, is use the words, "I" "And" "You" if you try to omit a few of those, I think it would flow much nicer.
For example try this instead:
You made me feel special
Made my world real
Now you ignore me
Making my word surreal
Other than that it's heartfelt and written well. I'll have to come back and read some more of your writes. Hugs, Willow
Beautiful sad poems you portrait here, Flow well within emotions written, Within every soul there is a rose.....Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns and find the rose within others. This is the characteristic of love, to look at a person, and knowing her faults, recognize the nobility in her soul, and help her realize that she can overcome her faults. If you show her the rose, she will conquer the thorns. Then will she blossom, blooming forth thirty, sixty, a hundred-fold as it is given to her.
"Love involves much careful and active Listening. It is doing whatever needs to be done, and saving whatever will promote the other's happiness, security, and well-being. Sometimes, love hurts. Love is on a constant journey to what others need. It must be attentive, caring and open, both to what others say and to what others cannot say." Have a good day, Best wishes.
This is a very beautiful poem sweetie.. I enjoyed reading every single line, it was just so amazingly wonderful I can't even describe it! You did an excellent job with this poem and I see how it make the top =D I also love how it's so neat and organized.. great job dear!! Please keep up the awesome work for us all! 5/5 <3 <3
I quite liked this piece, I found the emotion to be portrayed quite strongly throughout each word giving this piece a loving effect. The emotions were deep as was the flow. A neatly written poem with a tight structure. I really did enjoy reading this a well thought through piece. 5/5 from me keep up the good work~mel