Comments : Incomplete without you (Part I)

  • 10 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    Beautifully written poem, on the sad side of love. I definitley can't wait to read part 2 of this. There's was a nice flow and great rhyming until the last stanza (the rhyming was off) other than that It was a great piece. 5/5

    marcella

  • 10 years ago

    by CompletelyIncomplete

    Fsams, it is very beautiful and i would like to read Part two as soon as possible. Well worded an dnicely flowing emotions. tc

  • 10 years ago

    by Boy

    Itssuch a sad poem. it must should be continue. good. i adore this part one.

    a realy good choice of words. and you know you this stanza touched my heart

    You told me to get away from you
    For you wanted someone else to enter
    If you had told me that before
    I would have made way for her

    it says alot of things. and it realy relates to me.
    you deserve 5/5.
    take care

  • 10 years ago

    by Teria

    Wow.
    Amazing flow, Honestly.. I was impressed with the flow. I love a poem that flows well. :]
    You did an amazing job with this poem.
    It's worded perfectly, has great emotion, and is really sad. Which, isn't always good, but it made the poem, eh.

    Keep up the great work, doll.

  • 10 years ago

    by shatteredsoul

    Hmm that sounds sad, I cant wait for the rest of it!
    Most males break up with people like that because, they either are really sad and dont know how to deal with their emotions,
    or there just @$$^oles.
    well thats only my opinion! lol
    oh, and pm me when you write the next part, I really want to raed it!
    -shattered

  • 10 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I agree the unusual gender of the rival kind of surprised me the ending was thought provoking as I would have expected world in the place of word. Overal I believe the poem flowed nicely and delivered strong emotion.

  • 10 years ago

    by Krysten

    Very sad. but very good. again a poem that comes from the heart. this poem convase a sense of pain, of strong emotion. i loved it.keep it up

  • 10 years ago

    by unknown

    Very beautiful poem. It's touching. It flowed very well. A powerful piece, very strong emotion inside.
    Enjoyable and nice poem.
    Can't wait for the 2nd part. :)
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Debbie

    When you stated the stanza, as follows:

    "You made me feel special
    You made my world real
    And now you ignore me
    Making my word surreal"

    It made me connect to the time when I used to have a love unrequited; furthermore, the way you structure the poem was neat and excellent, along with a rather smooth flow. I further find this work quite sad and beautiful at the same time; it tugged my heart and soul completely. Your emotions were emanated by this piece quite effectively as well.

    Such an emotive poem, nonetheless.

    Take care,
    Marian

  • 10 years ago

    by Civil Hatori

    There is so much meaning in this poem and it portrays the truth so well. The first stanza:

    Why did you leave me
    Without telling me the reason
    Will you bring back to me
    Our lovely romantic season

    Was my favorite :D The rhyming was great in this part, and I like how you refered to "romantic season". Great job, 5/5

    Hatori
    The Dreamer

  • 10 years ago

    by CEE CEE

    DAMN THATS A MESSED UP POEM AND I LOVE IT BECAUSE I CAN RELATE TO IT IN EVERY WAY IT IS SAD BUT I LOVE IT GOOD JOB

  • 10 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    I love the emotions radiating from this peice of sad love.
    definitly well written.
    The flow was good.
    The words gripping.
    Well done,
    Elaine.

    P.S If you could Pm when part two is finished that would be great. I would very much like to read it.

  • 10 years ago

    by Angie

    First, thank you for the comment on my poem, it's greatly appreciated.

    Second, I like this one of yours, I'll be looking forward to the next part of it. The only thing I see, that a lot of people do, is use the words, "I" "And" "You" if you try to omit a few of those, I think it would flow much nicer.

    For example try this instead:

    You made me feel special
    Made my world real
    Now you ignore me
    Making my word surreal

    Other than that it's heartfelt and written well. I'll have to come back and read some more of your writes. Hugs, Willow

  • 10 years ago

    by KeyxMashingxParody

    That was so sad and sweet 5/5 ^_^

  • 10 years ago

    by BlueDreams

    Beautiful sad poems you portrait here, Flow well within emotions written, Within every soul there is a rose.....Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns and find the rose within others. This is the characteristic of love, to look at a person, and knowing her faults, recognize the nobility in her soul, and help her realize that she can overcome her faults. If you show her the rose, she will conquer the thorns. Then will she blossom, blooming forth thirty, sixty, a hundred-fold as it is given to her.

    "Love involves much careful and active Listening. It is doing whatever needs to be done, and saving whatever will promote the other's happiness, security, and well-being. Sometimes, love hurts. Love is on a constant journey to what others need. It must be attentive, caring and open, both to what others say and to what others cannot say." Have a good day, Best wishes.

    Bert.

  • 10 years ago

    by Spirit

    Good poem nice flow wish that you had the rest of it. keep up the good work
    5/5
    who gave you a 4?

  • 10 years ago

    by Si sI

    Great poem!! i love it... i really can realate to it.. it touched my heart.. great job.. you should read mine sometimes :))

  • 10 years ago

    by Kayla

    This is a very beautiful poem sweetie.. I enjoyed reading every single line, it was just so amazingly wonderful I can't even describe it! You did an excellent job with this poem and I see how it make the top =D I also love how it's so neat and organized.. great job dear!! Please keep up the awesome work for us all! 5/5 <3 <3

    ~Loveless Nights~

  • 10 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I quite liked this piece, I found the emotion to be portrayed quite strongly throughout each word giving this piece a loving effect. The emotions were deep as was the flow. A neatly written poem with a tight structure. I really did enjoy reading this a well thought through piece. 5/5 from me keep up the good work~mel

  • 10 years ago

    by Cindy

    Fsams
    What a sad and heart touching piece you have penned.
    Great job!
    Take Care Cindy