Comments : Hide and Seek

  • 10 years ago

    by Marius Laun

    That is really deep. Another hit, This is one that i like a lot, It is amazing , It paints just a neat picture, I was inspirining,Good work again

  • 10 years ago

    by Roxiee An

    You are a puppet controlled by your own mind

    cant understand the line too deeply
    its may be you are comlaining that the reader doesnt have or anything else plz tell me

    Rest the poem is like everyone's story
    most of the persons are egoist about not to share their pains and sorrow
    you just gave me an excellent poem
    well done Jennifer
    keep it up
    tc
    I am waiting for any such practical poem with such imagination with natural phenomenon like light and dark , hiding and all
    your friend
    Rohan
    Do anyone for me
    And plz critisize to the extent
    thanks

  • 10 years ago

    by Sourav

    It has a good flow so it's nice to read... good emotional write... keep it up!

  • 10 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    Nice poem! Wonderful rhymes and flow. I like the story in this poem. You really know how to pull a reader in. It was unique and pleasant to read. 5/5

    marcella

  • 10 years ago

    by collin

    Nice poem it flows well and you get a feeling of pain and regret as you read it very nice write :) keep it up girl

  • 10 years ago

    by my love

    This is a good poem... really one of my FAVS. it is written to point out kinda like they loved you deep inside but didint let you know and now they are miserable and youve found out about there hiden love and your now trying to find them but they are hiding so much to the point that you stopped looking... (that's just how it seemed in my point of view)

    5/5 good job! =)

  • 10 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    At the beginning, I liked it. But somewhere around the middle the flow went astray and it became "just another poem." Up to the fourth line I was really impressed, the meter was spot on, and the diction appropriate, but then it just slipped through the lines like melted butter.
    I did like the line "You hide behind your appearance and speak monotone" that almost picked the flow back up, and the use of rhyme was fantastic.
    Now I'll be harsh and say words like "love" "knife" "mask" "sad" are not ones I expected to read in this poem after that beginning.
    So all in all, great start and poor end. Thanks for sharing, keep writing.
    Oh also, feel free to "bash" my poetry as much as you want, I like criticism.
    Take care,
    Silver J.

  • 10 years ago

    by Hebe

    Great poem.
    Good rhyming and flow.

    " You try to act happy when really you're down "

    Absolute my favourite line.
    Loved reading it.
    Take care

  • 10 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    //* Excellent poem. From start to finish you had me hooked and the poem was very neat which makes it look very professional,,*

    "You are a puppet controlled by your own mind"
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    That is my favourite line, I don't know why but it just really stuck in me.

    Anyway, the rhyming was excellent and consistent and the flow was flawless. 5/5

    Keep it up && Take Care!

    -Shannon <3

  • 10 years ago

    by JaMeS

    Hey really nice poem you almost lost it in the middle but made up for that and more with the ending :) and pm me about this photoshop character drawing id like to see how it turned out jennifer :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Sumit Ojha

    Really nice poem... I like it :D
    Keep up this good work

    ~ Sumit Ojha

  • 10 years ago

    by tears i cry

    Very metophorical because we are all like puppets (isnt weird how when u describe a metaphor u have to use a simle)and we all have those stiches lol
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I love this...
    Beautifully written and every word is filled with such elegance.
    Flow and content are perfect throughout the piece, and so many people will be able to relate to this...beautiful work.

  • 10 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    You hide behind a thin black quilt
    Sewn from the sins that give you guilt
    [[I like the rhyme usage here; it's very unquie and flowed well.]]

    Sewn from the sins that give you guilt
    [[And I love this line.]]

    Your smile is drawn on and so are your eyes
    They are both made of an ink made up of lies
    [[I love this metaphor... really a pretty picture you drew for me here.]]

    You hide behind your appearance and speak monotone
    [[I really like this line, but it was a little too long for the flow to stay perfect. Perhaps take out and?]]

    When I see deep down you write about the knife
    [[ACK! The cliche "knife" and "life" rhyme! No! Bad!]]

    You write lies on your paper so simple and lined
    [[I freaking ADORE this line.
    But anyways, I think this line is where the poem should end. From the beginning to this line the poem was amazing, then it seriously started going down hill from there. Cut the lines after this off, and I'll give you a five. Otherwise, it's a four.]]

    xTheEcstasyofSuicidex -No Rate...Yet-

  • 10 years ago

    by GoodMEMORIES

    This poem was really deep. i think that it was pretty good. i really enjoyed it.

  • 9 years ago

    by Roses and lilys

    I like it. It has a nice flow to it and i loved the words that you used. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Yeka

    Awww dude love this poem truly wonderful (^_^) 5/5