Never again

Never Again

I walk down the hallways trying to doge the taunts.
It's same old same old day after day.
Just because I dress different or wear black all the time.
gives them the right, they feel to crush my being.

But I don't stop and stare,
call you a freak with pink everywhere.
So I feel the injustice I receive at school.
Maybe this time death won't be so cruel.

I've tried and failed so many times,
My dad was right, when he said I was a waste of time.
I tried to hide it, confide it but failed,
The pain showed through anyway.

So now I sit here with my eyeliner running,
My hands are shaking and I can't breathe normal.
"This is it" I say to myself
They lied when they said "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never harm me."

I inhale deeply, slow down my breathing,
My life isn't over but they might make it.
I have the control I have the will power,
To make it all stop with just a pill bottle.

But then I stop myself and think
"What will they say when they find me?"
What kind of funeral would they throw me?
Would they even care or just flip their hair.

"Thank god she's gone"
or
"I feel terrible now"
or how about this

Would they get "high" off the fact?
that they had that much power
Or maybe they would get more pride
over the fact that I died.

I had to stop, that's not what I want,
Give them the satisfaction of ending my life.
So I put the blade down and wiped my eyes,
laid down in bed and thought of their surprise.

The next day at school, I walked down the halls
listening to the jaunts and cries.
But I just turned around and flashed them a grin
then said to the school "Never again"

They all looked around like WTF
I just turned and kept on walking,
they got their power and strength from my tears
but if I give no reaction they soon stop their jeers.

So as the days went on and high school flew by,
I wasn't the victim of another suicide
They can't keep me down; I've made up my mind.

I am who I am and no one else,
Never again will I try,
to end my life because they laughed.
so please I say to those who feel this pain.

Look in the mirror and say to your self
"They can't make me do this,
and I won't let them end this"
Because you are more better.

and cool, for not letting them
make you feel like a fool.
And may be if your feeling quite strong
stand up, take ground and say "Never again, will your words cause me harm"

[Quote from a gay T.V commercial against name calling and how much damage it can really do.] "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will always haunt me"

the poem is mine but the quote isn't

comment if you want, I would like any help I could get for writing, so help crtique if you'd like