Comments : Friends or lovers?

  • 10 years ago

    by Roxiee An

    Every hour we speak and the laughter
    all of that will be surrender,

    some grammer mistake in this line bro

    my mind resist
    it must be resists I think

    Many i's arent capital
    make them capital

    Well now talking about matter
    Nice choice of subject
    Ya it happens
    well done
    5/5
    YOu rocked in this poem
    tc
    your friend
    Rohan

  • 10 years ago

    by GretaInsideOut

    Mm, an interesting piece, we have all been there. Nice flow and rhyming. Keep it u. Greta

  • 10 years ago

    by Beauty In The Breaking

    Very good job on this one =) It all flowed good together and the emotions were great =) 5/5
    Rhea

  • 10 years ago

    by sheena

    I really love your poem......nice flow, rhyming, and also the emotions that it express.....

    (",)

  • 10 years ago

    by ECILA ice

    Whew... i can feel the pain and sufferinf that you were up to right now coz i'm honestly experiencing it. This one is a good poem but it could look more better if you try to correct some wrong grammar (hope i didn't offend u) keep it up!

  • 10 years ago

    by Boy

    When you hold my arm's tight,
    my heart beats

    yeh dear. friends can be lover too. great wrk take care you deserve 5 again nice work... wihs you good luck in the future. take care

  • 10 years ago

    by Marcus

    Nice poem. Good emotion again. Just some grammatical errors. My suggestions are at the end of each line, in parentheses

    Do friends can be lovers too,(Can two friends be lovers, too)
    that my question to you(that's my question to you)
    I'm scared to say it to you
    because I don't know if you love me too

    Everyday we've been together,
    every hour we speak and the laughter
    all of that will be surrender,(all of that will be surrendered)
    when I say I loved her

    When you hold my arm's tight,(when you hold my arms tight)
    my heart beats
    when you hold my hands
    my mind resists

    It is hard to be with you
    now I know that I love you
    I don't want to lose you
    when I say that I love you

    Great Success^^

  • 10 years ago

    by Cyma Khan

    Good piece of work.Enjoyed reading....
    Its a beginning so dont worry if u do mistakes, we all learn from our mistakes..
    Keep Up The Good Work!

    God Bless U!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Jessica

    Do friends can be lovers too?
    ^ I think this should be changed to "Can friends be lovers too?"

    every hour we speak and the laughter
    ^ This doesn't make sense.

    Hmm, this was a fairly good poem. The flow didn't really work very well and the descriptions I thought lacked detail. I did not really like how you did the first stanza, repeating the word "you" so many times really made your words lose effect. To improve, I would say to use more detail, try and use better words to describe hwo you feel and check over your grammer before you post the poem. Keep it up though. 3/5

  • 10 years ago

    by eNiGmAtIc pReY

    That's sweet,....ako nga po pala ung c sheena ngcomment s inyo...

  • 10 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    Nice poem 4/5 but i think you used you too much just my opinion

  • 10 years ago

    by X Kashies Misery X

    "Do friends can be lovers too?" I'm getting the drift that you arn't very good at english or english isnt ur first language....rephrase that bit...
    "all of that will be surrendered,
    when I say I loved her" That is in between past and present tense!!! it should be like,
    all of that will be surrendered,
    When I say I love her" or w/e....write it properly!!
    "When you hold my arms tight,
    my heart beats
    when you hold my hands
    my mind resists" resists? when u hold my arms tight? wtf!! isnt it suppose to be, when u hold me tight or when I hold u tight in my arms....and that paragraph doesnt really make sense...Last paragraph doesnt really connect doesnt coborate...ur poem doesnt mix or blend well, its kinda just random paragraphs!! i think u need to work on this one aswell
    Hidden

  • 10 years ago

    by Shirani Graham

    Good job expressing the love. Keep writing.

    Nazeer

  • 10 years ago

    by Krzysztof J

    I love poems about love :)
    love that wich still eludes me lol this poem has a lot in it i loved the touch of inocence :) it gets a 5/5 from me :)

  • 10 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    A very beautiful love poem 5/5 i think friends can be lovers. brilliant piece!

    xD
    ~NinjaGirl~

  • 10 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    It's okay. This line -->Do friends can be lovers too? makes no sense. Can friends become lovers too? Would make sense. Or maybe even Do friends become lovers too? I just thought it was kind of boring. I'm not usually big on love poems because they often sound so similar and on this one I just think you could have made it better in one way or another. The titles not bad or anything and poems sound nicer if you don't end the line with the same word over and over again like you did with you. Let me look around for some good examples of bad poems and good poems to show you. Or at least my oppinions of them. I'll give this one a three.

  • 10 years ago

    by Kasie

    This poem was very good. It reminded me of what i once had...Keep up the great work. Keep writing and I'll keep reading

  • 10 years ago

    by Melody

    Well this one is very cute,... and you have chosen a nice subject...it's simple and i love simple poetry, maybe you have noticed =P
    5/5.. keep up the good work...God bless...Melody..=)

  • 10 years ago

    by TILLmyLASTtearFALLS

    Nice poem and difficult question here: "friends or lovers?".Actually, im going through something like this right now and i know how confusing it feels...Anyway, keep writing and hope you find the answer soon(hope the same for me!).
    Take care,

    TILLmyLASTtearFALLS

  • 10 years ago

    by TwiztidJuggalette

    I like it..It's very cute and short and simple...
    Some of the rhyming seemed forced though..
    It still was an enjoyable read...

    5/5 from me