Wow. amazing poem. ur really talented. i love the depth and emotions that u can feel in the poem. i liked the flow, it was off in places, but u made it work (from my point of veiw ne ways.. which was probably a little off from the start. lolz.). i really like it. great job. keep up the great work. 5/5.
Maybe is just me cause I prefer non-rhyming poetry but I really like your poems without rhymes more that the ones that rhyme. That is simply cause it really seems to me that you forced rhyming and than it doesn't really fit so it left bad impression on me, but that is just my opinion and I don't want to offend you.
Other than rhyming this is interesting, intense piece, I must say that you are really talented for writing about strong pain and emotions, very random but powerful piece. (I think random in a totally positive way) I think that this poem needs a few improvements (there is no such thing as perfect work) but anyway I truly enjoy in this, and I will probably read more of yours when I have time. I think that all in all this poem was great.
WOW! a suicide poem! oh my damn yo.. this is really good.. i really imagined it happening.. the way you wrote it makes vivid pictures of what's happening.. this is my favorite! GREAT POEM man!
i'm so amazed! =]
"Find some rope, make a noose
Remeber not to make it loose
Take a bottle of pills just in case
Stumble slightly, knock over a vase
Stand in front of a mirror. the demons I will soon face
Noose tight, pulls taken, leaving an awful taste
Close my eyes, take the small leap
Everyone will know of my defeat."
these are my favorite lines....
your writing here reminds me so much of a my other poetry, the stuff i don't really post. I can really relate to the emotions here...
"Watch me run away with the pain
I have nothing at all to gain
Watch me slowly lose my self control
My life starting to unfold"
these lines are great, i really love them, their just so easily relatable and something i have written in different terms so often.
your poetry is wonderful, you have an incredible talent.
Guess what...I almost cried!!! This is truly sad...Despair, sorrow, jelousy...I felt everything. Life is still wonderful...just keep your faith in God. Believe me..sooner, everything's gonna be fine!!! You are talented!!! God bless you!!!