Is this me?

Written: April 2007

I sometimes find I'm drifting,
Through this life without effect.
I often wonder if I'm truly,
Worth what I have been blessed.

I search through days,
That have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.

You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong.
Yet when I am alone,
I question
Just where do I belong?

I often try too hard I find,
To analyze,
And guess,
To scrutinize,
investigate
My life I will confess!

For somewhere deeper,
There must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.

Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?

It teases,
And it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight.
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.

I struggle to bring clarity,
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion,
Always fades before my stare.

It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless,
tired gaze.

Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what life has in store?

Each incident,
each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end,
Will I find truth?
Or will I be perplexed?

Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?

Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this,
For just who am I?