This poem truely does make you wonder about families.
how they want their image to be, their neglects, and ignorance of what truely matters.
although it did rhyme, the flow was not quite as perfect, mainly because of the length of each line.
but i did not rate it on that, i rated soley on the story behind the writings.
Good use of grammar and wordings.
it is hard to actually find a poet on this site that knows how to use good grammar.
All the words was so true... it tells lot of important things to learn bout life style.. and yeah most young people are free to show and expressed all their feelings..but everyone are free though! well this piece was truly means alot to me that i can relate at the same time.. wonderful work 5/5
This poem is a bit rough. The idea is a unique one, and I don't think any had written about it until now. The flow was good, but the rhymes seemed a little forced or didn't sound to good. Also, please change the following:
"They only hear want they want to hear."
To- "They only hear what they want to hear."
This poem was great, but could be better with some work. I love the idea you had going on with this though, it really does make you wonder about people and their families. The flow was off, and i think it may have been becasue some of your lines rhymed, but others didnt. but over all, great write! keep it up! :]
I like this poem a lot. Your choice of words is superb from the beginning to the end and the flow is excellent in every stanza. Very deep piece, filled with meaningful thoughts. Excellently written poem!
I loved this poem better then the other. This one felt straight from the heart and the truth behind it was hauntingly real. It flowed flawessly and the words you choice fit your message perfectly. Well done *5/5*
I liked this poem much more then the one I read before it because of the truth written within your words. The meaning you portrayed behind this poem was amazing, It really grasped onto my mind and held on planting thoughts within my head. The flow off this is smoothe which creative a lovely effect and your word choice is excellent. Overall a great read. Well done. Keep up the great work. ~Mel
Wow. This was spectacular. It was raw, it held truth, and the meaning behind it was just so intense. It truly does make the reader think while reading it. So fantastic job on that. :] The flow was flawless, the word choice was amazing, and the emotions were strong. Excellent job. Overall: 5.5
Nice work i quite enjoyed this then
it was a really nice poem of realization
i liked it alot my fave stanza
was the second one
it was lovely
9 years ago
This part "Families become so blind and unaware.
They only hear what they want to hear." reminds me of my dad you can say a thousands words and he'll one thing miss the whole meaning of the conversation and start an fight about just that one thing frustrating but this poem is so real an honest
keep writing your words are real...=]5/5
Third stanza is my favorite one, you described your opinion on a very clear way.
This seems to me like a exile of emotions and honestly little forced, it is interesting, it kept my attention but you used same words few times and that left a negative impression on me.
Overall I am not a big fan of poems from this category and I am not too impressed by this poem.
Wow, you have a lot of talent... your choice of words is always phenominal... and every line just blows me away. This message is so clear... perfect write... I would just spell check "inside" in this line
This was good.
To be honest, I got kind of confused I didn't really know what this was about. But i'm also sick so it might just be my head right now lol. I'm not too sure. But the over all of it was great.