Comments - One last time

~forgotten~mistake~ ( F P C D ) at 2007-03-25

This is a good poem. well done, its a good talent you are showing so keep it up. hope you are ok. take kare xxxxx

Remnant of DaveJon ( F P D ) at 2007-03-30

Very moving. I like the flow and the emotions that lay both on and under the surface. Good Job 5/5

.:*finally letting go*:. ( F ) at 2007-04-23

I like this poem alot... great job!

Teria ( F P C D ) at 2007-04-24

"Even sun shining above me"
^ You should add 'the' after Even.
"Fades as dropping from the sky"
^That doesn't really make sense. :/ I get what you're saying though.
"begins again"
^ Both of those words rhyme with the above word, therefore you should change the word 'begins' or take out the word 'again'.

I loved this poem, it was a great write. And, I'm soo sorry for you loss, hun. I hope you're doing okay. <3 I really like this poem, and as I was reading I was like.. I wonder if she's talking about an ex or something, you know. Because, it was like.. that kinda poem. But, you weren't. The story behind it, I guess gives it so much more meaning than what readers think before they read it all.
This is a great poem, and the fact that it came from deep within makes it even greater than anyone can imagine, except you.

I loved it.
Keep it up. <3

ImNotPerfect20 ( F C D ) at 2007-04-27

Good work!! very good poem.. Hope you are doing ok though.. 5/5

IdTakeABullet4U ( F P C D ) at 2007-04-27

I feel you walking away. = I see you walking away.

Awesome job, Nice words. You have a few lowercase I's that could use fixing, but other than that it is flawless. Good job.

~Stephen White

Infected With his Deadly Love ( F P C D ) at 2007-04-27

Another good poem.
I'm sorry for your lose.

'Everything is black
Even sun shining above me
Fades as dropping from the sky'

Loved it ^^

Keep it up 5/5


Vanessa ( F P C D ) at 2007-05-01

I loved this, again you did an excellent job. i am soo sorry for your loss. You have alot of talent, and I think as long as you keep expressing yourself though written words that you will get though it. Keep writting, and stay strong. 5/5

xxSnow Angelxx ( F C D ) at 2007-05-08

Oh my gosh!!....such a beautiful poem...sooo touching!!....there r few mistakes though which r pointed out in the earlier comments though...but the poem is all the same...Beautiful!
Great wrk!5/5!

Marc Ortiz ( F P C D ) at 2007-05-12

I really like the opening line! I was really touch by this great poem! well writen! the flow was smooth! and sorry for your loss :(

Sydney ( F C D ) at 2007-05-13

It put a vivid picture in my mind. The Description of the sun..I love that XD

Stephanie Naylor ( F P C D ) at 2007-05-13

The imagery was there, and it was strong and i thought it was very powerful

David ( F P C D ) at 2007-05-16

Ah now that is sad. the words you used need to be more desriptive tho. but still this was good.

5/5 David

xStillxThexOnlyxOne ( F P C D ) at 2007-05-16

Aww that is soo sad. Sorry for the
loss. Very good and short poem.
Well done God bless 5/5

Hidden Feelings within these Wor ( F P C D ) at 2007-05-18

A beautiful poem, sorry to hear about your friend. =( I have had many losses myself. It isn't an easy thing to go through.

The flow of your poem wasn't the greatest, but it was powerful.

I apologize if I'm being too harsh, I honestly don't mean to be, I just know that I want honesty, so I will only give honesty.

Anyhow, you are very talanted, and you have great potential, so continue writing and posting. =)


becca beh ( F P C D ) at 2007-05-22

Wonderful poem.. filled with emotion.. the flow was good but a little off in the beging.. great job :D

TheWorldFellNUWerentThere ( F P C D ) at 2007-05-22

This is a great poem! Such a heartfelt poem. Loved it. 5/5

waiting 4 some1 ( F P C D ) at 2007-09-24

Nice poem

FridusBlueheaven ( F P C D ) at 2007-11-03

This is great. Must be well written by you!!!

ali ( F C ) at 2007-11-21

This is so touching and moving, the little note at the end nearly made me cry and gave the whole piece another meaning, awesome, heartbreaking stuff...
- ali xxxxxxx

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