My next fix

by kay   Aug 18, 2016


I wait for time to pass
4 hours until my next fix
then these fears and thoughts will be cast adrift

I always think this will be the last hit
Then the time comes and I can't miss
shaking sweating and nervious
I am the perfect actress

All the years all of the lies
nobody sees what I hide inside
I am screaming but never aloud
I can't make a sound

A life cursed by pain and isolation
anxiety nightmares of my own creation

4 hours until my next fix
I can't last wish I could be stronger or wiser
how can I fight myself
how do I accept what I cannot change
when I am consumed by so much rage

I take a hit and it all slips away
then I can breath and finally I no longer feel
but the high isnt so high anymore
it doesnt last and I always fall
I don't think I will ever heal

why even try when my life is all a lie

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Kay, this is a very powerful write that some people can relate too. I felt the emotion within the piece. I like the subtle rhyming.

    I like how you go through the emotions of needing your fix, hiding it from people that love you, getting it and the come down from it because I believe though it may give you a 'high' as to said it doesn't last and when you come down its just like (if not worse) before you had a high.
    The only suggestion is a typo on nervous.

    All the best Em and welcome to p&Qs