Sliently Screaming Inside

Alright so I changed my username to this because for a while I've been screaming inside, with so much pain but I always put a smile on my face I think..I'm slowly dying inside to be honest. Some days I can feel just fine and others I feel nothing inside no remorse, no sadness, no love, just emptyness and to be honest sometimes I enjoy it since it keeps the pain I have inside away from me I hardly cry now as if I ever did. Anyways, the point of this topic is do you have any good or bad tips to get rid of this feeling?

Sorry that you are feeling this way :(

This is me simply throwing ideas out but in no way do I know or understand your situation, not trying to say I am. I really don't think it's the best thing for people to underplay emotions; I think they need to be evaluated. So if we tell one person how we feel, they may say we're over-acting, it will pass, etc. And that can easily anger us, I know it has with me before, because it doesn't get to why we're feeling this way.

Someone told me last week under every action there is a behavior and I believe the same can be said with how we feel or think. We need something to stable or balance us. And it does depend on the person... if the person is stuck in a depression and needs to deal with it with changing lifestyle for the better, therapy, medication, or many factors, which there is no shame in. Also think we may not be the best people to dictate what will work best if we haven't tried. How can we deal with feelings of numbness, in a healthy way? Finding the root of it, do we want to escape, what are we trying to avoid, etc.

EDIT: Also, journaling? I don't do it everyday but if I get in a thoughtful, quite mood I'll flesh out thoughts as to why I've come to this conclusion in my head... like lies we tell ourselves, or how I can positively work through a bad feeling.

Just my 2 cents.

Thank you hon, and yes I have tried to amend the numbness I moved and now I'm in Job Corps for a better chance at my life, still not working so I already made an appointment with a shrink (which I so hate) but I want to heal and move on but I'm afraid but thank you for the advise!

Sure, not sure if I helped but here for encouragement. I have not heard of the Job Crops but good luck to you in whatever path you take... hmm, about the shrink, do you mind if I comment? I used to never be able to conceive the idea of me seeing a therapist, don't know why it just seemed like something not for me, for other people, until I wanted to get better at understanding myself, other reasons etc. I did some research beforehand about their work and who I would be comfortable with. What specialties they had, what their goals were. I've also read that you should give them time and a chance, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, don't be afraid to find a new one and keep trying. I don't know if you've ever watched Kati Morton videos on Youtube, but she stresses the importance of that relationship with a therapist and patient, which I never thought of as too important before. Again, I feel there needs to be balance. Compassion from the therapist, but also that therapist helping you overcome whatever it is you need to overcome, even if it means wanting you to bring up certain memories or the past, but going at it with a pace.

Eh I'll give them a chance but not sure if they'll be able to help me but I'll give them a chance I give everyone a chance no matter how small that chance may be! And again thank you hon.

Stretching and writing do the trick for me. All the best.

I feel the same some days I go from okay to depressed o happy to super depressed. Normally a super saturated espresso helps me numb my system .

I can't have coffee sadly but again thank you for the support hon and you too Everlasting! ^_+

Writing of course is helpful.

I was feeling very bad lately, the war in my area and some financial issues really drove me nuts...
I decided to cook food for some of the poor workers. I prepared every thing, simple meal of pasta and fried chicken and actually didn't take much of my time. My feeling while I distributed the plates with my husband was incredible. It helped me a lot and made me feel worthy.