Right, I don't think I've ever run a main boards contest before, so here I am, taking my turn. The rules are simple - if not easy - and the competition closes on the 5th October. I will then take pms for your top two choices (10 points for 1st, 7 for 2nd) and announce the results on the 10th October. Winner - two detailed comments from me. Runner-up - one detailed comment from me. Not overly generous, maybe, but I'm rather busy at the moment!
The subject - and this is why I said it wasn't easy - has to be about your darkest experiences. Not pleasant, and not something everyone will want to write about, but some of the best art is dark and damn right unpleasant to read, let's face it. Any form, any length, post here.
All the best.
I've got this place-
Deep within my soul
tucked away, heavily guarded.
The key weighs heavy
on my heart-
A reminder of the darkness
that lives there...
It's inky blackness
hides the hurt and disappointment,
the loss of my dad,
profoundly affected me
from childhood to now middle age,
of my innocence ripped from me
at the age of eleven,
setting the course
of a lot of bad choices
when it came to men...
I've poured my tears
into those recesses-
Two failed marriages,
my own child
turning her back on me,
disappointing job choices,
thoughts of ending it all...
Would any of it matter?
Did I even matter?
I don't like to open
This Pandora box of darkness.
Too much pain
tucked away in there.
But there it is,
a silent but deadly reminder
of all the darkness
that is me....
Take me back to my youth, I am just just 19 years old
The words drop so heavily. "I'm with child" is what I'm told.
I dissolved my path, rethought everything including my career plan
Still adolescent in some ways, yet I chose to be a man.
I worked hard to build us some kind of life
That factory from 6am until 6 o'clock at night.
Then home a little while to eat before another job
Pouring pints for idiots at night.
Not once did I complain
Because I was young and fit back then
And things kinda came together
With the help of family and friends.
They brought you into our world
When from your own you were outcast
All their trust and gestures
On you they would soon be lost.
But I put the end before the middle
Before the birth of our shared genes
Waiting for her to breath her first
My fingers crushed, ears filled with screams.
My only blood born daughter came to be
And they placed her in my arms
Wrapped up within her blanket
I quickly succumbed to her charms
It's time to go the midwife said
Mum and baby need to rest
That's when you got your first hold
As you clutched her to your breast.
I walked out of that hospital
That's now a university
4 miles from there to home
I covered it with ease and speed
Not many people know this
Not a single person seen
I wept so much when I got home
But not through misery.
Things started getting better
For I found a cracking well paid job
It involved working shifts
But I thought it worth the cost
And that is when things started to go wrong
For you simply couldn't be alone
When I was working night shift
You snuck a man into our home
I found out about it eventually
And the split was not a pleasant one
Not caring for our little one properly
She stayed with me and my mum
They gave you time to sort yourself
Then our baby came back to you
And that's when things get really bitter
You filled her head with vile untruths
All those years thinking the worst of me
And living in your horrid home
Believing the lies you told of me
Till she had a baby of her own
You see I tracked her down quite easily
And she was very shocked it's true
And I must admit I smiled a bit
For she looks like me, not you
Her and I meet from time to time
And it's not quite how it should be
For the poison seeds you sowed
Can't be forgotten so easily
Did you know before all this happened
I had a pure, dedicated and loving heart
People wonder how I got so dark and twisted
I've been through some stuff in my short life
so much so I'm riddled with alot of strife
but when I heard you were missing I cried
and I screamed when I heard you'd died
but what came next was far much worse
it seemed like my life yours was cursed
because you'd been murdered left for dead
visions of your last moments run through my head
you were strangled, left like rubbish in a bin.
I don't understand how this happened to you
as you always had a smile no matter what you were going through
though life was tough you were my sweet friend
and I wish I'd seen you more towards your fateful end
these bastards showed no remorse at all
but they'll rot in hell, I'm sure, at their final call