Poet of the Fortnight #9: Ben Pickard (Sept 29 - October 13)

Ben Pickard, a.k.a. The Sonnet King (as I like to call him in my head), has been randomly selected as our ninth Poet of the Fortnight (PotF)! If you don't already know him, Ben is a 36 year old man living in the UK who has probably been featured on the front page more times than I can count on all my fingers and toes combined. He is no doubt one of the most well known (and well liked) poets on PnQ and one of our most active members. Check out his ongoing site-wide poetry contest if you have time: http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/threads/146423
Without further ado, please welcome Ben to his own special thread, and be sure to read his latest poem posted just below:

----
I Will Eat You If You Fall (Spider)

Below the spider's woven web,
I sit and wait with glee.
To watch the flies amuses me -
I dine off misery!
First the catch and then the fangs:
The coffin spun from silk.
The blood is drained, and I'm deranged -
I drink the drops like milk!
The spider peers with poisonous eyes -
He knows me rather well;
He'd like to end my twisted game

But if he tried and fell

I'd pick his legs off one by one
And pluck those starless eyes.
I'd eat the body, hair and all,
Then save those tasteless flies.
----

Ben, please fill out this public survey when you find time. You can pass any question/prompt in this thread, just write "Pass." I will ask 10 questions total throughout the next 2 weeks, and members of the community are encouraged to participate by asking questions of their own. Here's the survey:

Real name:
Meaning behind your PnQ name:
Birth place:
Languages spoken:
When you discovered PnQ and why you joined:
Favorite poet(s):
Book you are currently reading:
Song you last listened to:
Inspirations for writing:
5 truths about yourself:

Is it poetry more about counting than it is about feelings??
Is their a mathematical calculation of beauty?
If their is, what is its stance against intuiting the beauty?

I know these are though questions but because you are such a fine poet I thought you might come with some answers?
If not, no sweat, I am at a loss too.

What inspires you the most to write?
Are you a pen and paper writer or technological?

Ben (m'lord),
I'm really looking forward to this thread (nosy) ;-)
My question is ...
What does poetry do for you? (Your own when you write it that is) Is it a purge of emotions or a creative necessity for you? Maybe both?

Have you ever actively tried to NOT write any for a period of time, and if so, how did it feel?

Kitty =^.^=

Morning Ben well another lamb to the slaughter lol. I'll let you catch up before I ask mine

Craig

I have been looking forward to this day (lol)

1) So if memory serves me right you homeschool your children what made you and your wife come to this decision?

2) with being the sonnet king I assume you are a big Shakespeare fan.. If I'm correct what got you into Shakespeare in the first place and is there any other poets you read once and fell in love with?

3) of all the pieces you have written which is your favourite and why?

4) what is one thing you always wanted to do has a child is this something you have achieved?

Look forward to all your answers

Thank you, Jane, for that warm introduction and thanks for having me. I will answer all the questions by everyone but perhaps not in one sitting! Feel free to ask me anything and I will do my best to respond honestly.

Real name: Ben William Pickard

Meaning behind your PnQ name: It's my name, lol

Birth place: London

Languages spoken: English and a bit of French

When you discovered PnQ and why you joined: I discovered PnQ in 2015, I think, but closed my original account in a rather rash - but not uncommon - moment. I am prone to some rather...temperamental mood swings. Still, I suppose most of us here can understand that. As for why I joined, I have always loved writing poetry but, before PnQ, I hadn't written anything since I was 18 and one night I just decided to look for on-line poetry sites and alighted on this one. I have to say, in many ways, it has changed my life and given me an entirely different outlook on life in general, not just poetry. Again, I suppose many here will relate to that. There is something special about this place and the people here.

Favorite poet(s): I'm going to surprise everyone and say....Shakespeare. I love Robert Frost, Dylan Thomas and Thomas Hardy, too.

Book you are currently reading: Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

Song you last listened to: I can't remember what the last track is on the album at the moment, but it was a Lana Del Rey song - I do know that much!

Inspirations for writing: In honesty and as clichéd as it may sound, just a desperate need sometimes - almost overwhelming - to try and bottle a torrent of emotions on a piece of paper and shape something great from them. I haven't done that yet and doubt I ever will, but that's my inspiration.

5 truths about yourself: 1) I suppose I am quite a close-minded sort of person, at least I was before I joined PnQ. That's what I meant about this place changing my outlook on life. I have so much more time for people in general now and more understanding of what they may be suffering from. As silly as it sounds, it started with my idea of what a poem was. I was from the old school: it had to have meter/rhyme/both or it simply wasn't poetry, old bean! Now, as time goes by, I find myself writing - or trying - more and more free verse. Poetry, ultimately, is whatever touches the human soul in someway, I guess, and I have read free verse on here that could move mountains to tears.
2) I was desperate to teach English when I finished A levels, but developed epilepsy when I was 18 and that stopped me going to university. The pressure of exams etc triggered it worse than anything else. Anyway, long story short, my wife and I now home school our three children - which includes English - so fate really does seem to play a funny hand sometimes. If I had been a 'real' teacher, I would never be teaching my kids.
3) I quite literally feel like I'm on the brink of madness sometimes. I've come to the conclusion in the last few years that there are those of us who simply feel too much. As wonderful as that can be, there is always a balance that needs paying and the flipside is bloody awful.
4) I probably drink a little too much red wine, but there you have it.
5) I met my wife when I was 17 and have never - once - looked at another woman.

*I'll get to some more questions later, but for now, a cheese and pickle sandwich calls, with maybe a gulp of red...

ddavid, I was waiting for a philosophical grilling from you, and I will do my best to answer these questions, despite not being a philosopher. Although I do believe some of the best poetry is philosophical.

Is it poetry more about counting than it is about feelings??
I believe, simply, if you write with feeling, it counts. I believe also that if you write to make it count, you are writing without feeling and so it is hollow, thus, it doesn't count.

Is their a mathematical calculation of beauty?
If their is, what is its stance against intuiting the beauty?

In my opinion, beauty cannot be penned in by rigid lines or calculated in any form so maths and beauty can never be in accord, no. True beauty transcends all rules and regulations; it doesn't recognise what we consider to be right or wrong.

Hi Liz

As above, my own emotions inspire me to write more than anything but I suppose I love the idea of creating something beautiful from them. Also, iambic pentameter haunts my dreams...

I write on pen and paper often. Nights will regularly see me running up and down the stairs in my smalls (now now ladies) scrawling something down. The problem is, I have left so many notes on my windowsill only to discover the sun has stolen my ink a few months later and my night time endeavours are reduced to naught...
I do sometimes just open the laptop and write though. So a bit of both.

Hi, Kitty. Poetry for me is both: it is a need to write - frantic sometimes - but also a wish that I can craft something beautiful from often fairly ugly feelings.
I have to be honest, I never try to write or not write; I just do it as and when I need/want to. Writing doesn't consume me most of the time, but I think if someone said I couldn't write when I wanted to, I would probably be distraught, especially if I had a good idea in mind. I hope this answers your questions.

Take care

Hi, Em. Thanks for the questions.

1) So if memory serves me right you homeschool your children what made you and your wife come to this decision?

As above, I always wanted to be a teacher and we had the time and inclination so it went from there. To be honest, there are a lot of negative influences in schools these days so that was certainly a factor. They all have clubs and socialise regularly so that's not a problem for them. Also, we are a very close family and love spending time together, so it all works out rather well.

2) with being the sonnet king I assume you are a big Shakespeare fan.. If I'm correct what got you into Shakespeare in the first place and is there any other poets you read once and fell in love with?

I'm no sonnet king (but thank you) and when I read Shakespeare, I am often filled with overwhelming despair that I'm a mortal and he's a God! Shakespeare is something no child can truly appreciate, and it wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties and understood meter a little that I fully appreciated what the man did. He wrote play after play, speech after speech in metered poetry that included so many iconic lines. And he did it in a fairly short time. There couldn't have been much going back or editing his work - there simply wouldn't have been time - he just poured line after line out, and it must have come effortlessly. This may be the most controversial thing I say, but I know I'm right: There's no not liking Shakespeare, only not understanding his true brilliance. He was - quite genuinely - an absolute genius, and there is no argument about that...in my opinion (being an open minded sort of guy these days, lol)

3) of all the pieces you have written which is your favourite and why?

'Apples That Float Away'. I remember sitting down and thinking 'right, I'm going to write a poem with twelve syllable lines in iambic meter' but it became the easiest and most natural poem I've ever written. It took me ten minutes and everything just fell into place. The more I read it back, the more sure I become I won't write anything half as good again.

4) what is one thing you always wanted to do has a child is this something you have achieved?

Go and live in the Amazon - no!

Take care, Em

Mr Ben Pickard,

Just reading through some wonderful questions from other poets,;and enjoyed reading your answers.
It's nice to have a deeper knowledge of a fellow poet on PnQ like your good self :)

I just wanted to ask you Ben that when you hit the nail on the head, upon completion of a piece of writing.. does your heart-rate increase, if so can you feel it?

Also immediately that you have thought of something to write. Does the end of the poem come to your mind immediately?

Michael :)

Haha Ben from all the people I expect you the least to sensor one of my D-s: ddavidd. :) :)

I like your answers. By mathematical equation of beauty I meant balance and geometrical harmony, Or even counting the syllabus of verses and also rhymes. But I agree:
" True beauty transcends all rules and regulations; it doesn't recognise what we consider to be right or wrong. " ( quoted from Ben)

I <3 Ben

Do you get lost in nature and ever pretend to be someone else?

Name one movie you love and how do you relate?

This is a fantastic reply Ben.

None of us are the same in fact we are all very diverse.

When I first joined back in March of this year I took some criticism Because I don't conform to what a poet should be.

I even popped something in the forum regarding such..

I play with words and manipulate to say what I hide.

You make them dance My friend and wonderfully so.

Craig

ddavid. This is cryptic, but bear with me. I believe that 4 is a beautiful number; there is a symmetry and equilibrium about it. I don't believe that by charting it's journey eg 2 + 2 = 4 or how it came into being makes it less beautiful. Things - poetry included - are beautiful/symmetrical/balanced etc or they are not. No amount of plotting their courses on graphs changes that. 4 is beautiful, it just so happens that it is the sum of other parts. The same can be applied to poetry. It can be knocked into shape and built upon, part by part, rhyme by rhyme, verse by verse or it can simply flow...freely. Either way, it is what's left standing at the end that counts. It is beautiful, it is touching, it is...poetic, or it is not. How it came into existence is of no consequence in that regard. So I do believe that there can be balance and geometrical beauty in life, but its existence transcends the very bleak and very human idea of mathematics.

Hi Michael.

Yes, in answer to your first question, it does - but rarely. There have only been a few times I have written a piece, read it back, and thought 'I have it there'. And then there is a notable - if not altogether healthy - increase in my heart rate and I'm not ashamed to admit, I become excited, good man! lol

To answer your second question, I used to always write the last line first. I used to try and come up with a dramatic close and build from there. These days, sometimes, but not always. But I never have a title until I have read the piece back, then - hopefully - something just springs to mind.

Take care

*Andrea, Craig, I will answer tomorrow but it's 00:17 and I haven't slept much recently. Thanks for your questions in advance.

I think now you touched the purpose of the question even farther. The form and the content of poetry work side by side to contribute to its beauty . Their relationship is very dialectical and transcendental.
Thanks for responding. I think talking and reading about this stuff contributes to the enhancement of a poetry community such as ours. There are so many confusion about the meaning, or the purpose of poetry. There were members here who alleged everything you put on the paper is poetry. I did not want to ridicule them by asking: what about commercial ads or laundry lists.

Okay now I get it, your misspelling my name is intentional. I wonder what the reason might be ;) ;)

Hi Ben,

Thank you for your reply. I too have a heart tingle with writing certain pieces :)
and to add I don't think I have ever started with a title.
With an ending, it usually comes in a mixture of thoughts while thinking of a poem.
Nice to compare similar notes and feelings.

Enjoy the rest of your time with questions

Michael :)

Thank you for all your questions, ddavidd - they are indeed interesting to discuss. By the way, the editing of the last 'd' was a genuine and foolish mistake that I made twice. As for everything that I write being poetry, oh no, make no mistake; it absolutely is. It may not always be good but never - not once - is it written without feeling. If the masses like it and it is 'commercial' then I am simply lucky that I touch so many. As for the 'meaning' and 'purpose' of poetry, well, that simply damns all we were discussing about boxing it in and giving it rules. A poem individually has purpose and meaning, but poetry generally is simply about connecting. You won't with everyone every time (like music or any other art form) but if you can - just once - then you have a poem. I fear sometimes you overcomplicate things not necessarily for the sake of it, but because you can't help asking questions. There isn't always a more complex and higher meaning to things. let some things rest as they are. Poetry is something we all take different things from - there is no right or wrong. There is no...equation.

There were members here who alleged everything you put on the paper is poetry. I did not want to ridicule them by asking: what about commercial ads or laundry lists

^^
I have to be honest, as much as I was expecting philosophy from you, Frank, I was expecting it to be ridiculed with barbs and veiled insults too. How sad that you have become so predictable, considering how clever you seem to be.
As above, I have enjoyed our discussions, but I won't be answering any more questions from you.

Take care

*edit: as seriously as you seem to take yourself and as often as you demean those around you, you are still, ultimately, plying your trade on a poetry site that pays nothing and - as far as I'm aware - are not a renowned name in the poetry field. Perhaps, maybe, it's time you joined the rest of us mere mortals down here on the caring and wonderful society of PnQ and stopped trying to gun down its honest members who come on here to write and talk with like-minded people. Discuss too - yes - but never needlessly insult.

That's interesting to hear, Michael. You and I have a similar process often, it seems. Thanks for stopping by!

Do you get lost in nature and ever pretend to be someone else?

Name one movie you love and how do you relate?

^^

Hello Maple. Thanks for the questions. I get lost in nature all the time. Not too many days go by that I don't amble round the woods for an hour or so with my dogs and just soak it in. In truth, I regularly take a thermos of tea, a lighter (cheat, I know) and strike up a fire and just sit for a couple of hours. A funny thing to do, perhaps, but there we are. I also love camping (Snowdonia mainly)

Walkabout. I first saw this movie about 10 years ago. It was made in the early 70s and it's about a school girl and her little brother who are picnicking with their dad in the Outback. He promptly succumbs to madness brought on by the gruelling trials of modern life and goes on to try and kill his kids. They escape and - long story short - find an aborigine, reconnect with nature and find their way home. It instantly connecting with me. As above, I love anything to do with nature and feel humanity is losing touch with it so completely and utterly - it's so desperately sad. This film is a harsh, but beautifully shot, lesson in the dangers of modern life and the power nature has. We could all do with a little more connecting with it.

Take care Andrea.

ps watch the film, you'll love it

What is your occupation now??

If teaching is still a passion for you..why not go back to uni now that you're older?...my daughter (who already has a double degree in other subjects) is now back at uni studying teaching..(two years of study).

How do you break down each day teaching three kids at different levels of learning?

Hi Hellon,

Teaching my kids is still a passion for me and university and studying wouldn't afford us the time to teach. Nothing is more important to me now than educating the children; I would rather do that than anything else.
I work nights as a retail supervisor in Asda (believe it or not) and so I am at home all day to teach and my wife works just a few hours a day, so we have plenty of time there.
My two oldest are both taught at the same level, so when one of us is - for example - teaching them history, the other is teaching our youngest. In truth, it has been - and will be - the most rewarding thing we have done. They are checked on annually and are all doing really well. The oldest has sat his SATS exams and is ahead in every subject.

Thanks Hellon

I wasn't knocking you Ben...please don't think that. I was just wondering why you don't try to find a way to fulfill your passion for teaching. My daughter goes to Uni two full days a week...her two kids are in public schooling but, the youngest is in what we call kindy here which means it's two and a half days this year so...I go pick her up when needed. I'm just saying...like I say to her (my daughter) you're never too old to live your dream :)

Great answers so far Ben. I'm really enjoying it :-)

Just to touch on Hellon's comment ... I've found that dreams can take new directions... to all intents and purposes you're living your dream now, teaching the most important people in your world. If your original dream remains when you've finished that, then as Hellon said, it's never too late. My mum did her degree at 52! ... who knows what your dream will be by then?

What books did you love as a child? Are there any you loved that you've shared with your kids?

Kitty =^.^=

Hello Mr Packard
I introduce myself as genie
Do not think of me conventional
For to some I am a meanie

I knew your time would come
And I have for you a task
One thing to know more of you
Just one question I will ask

Some of my kin are generous
I am considered tight.
Celtic blood runs through me
Make your choice and make it right

So I shall now grant you but one wish
And imaginary to thee
But think upon this wisely
And I wait for what it may be

Serious dude one wish, and only one if you had such

Regards

Craig

Dear Ben: I wrote this privately. But because I come here to support you and you attacked me I have right to respond. and If you answer I have right to respond again.
It is about Harmony= balance= fairness= beauty

So much anger. I am glad you took it out of your system. Talking about harmony!! I was wanting to find some well balanced individual to express that all these wrong feeling that is going around the name ddavidd is unfounded and unfair. For a short while I even thought that person could be you.
Things are not the way they look always you know. The earth is not flat, sun is not turning around the earth, and gravity do not exist the way we see it. Actually it is in our nature to observe everything backward. My contribution to this site has always been towards betterment. Though it is always misunderstood. I showed attitude expressing myself, firstly it was something that I picked up in very rough environment while this site was forming. Second showing attitude was a tactic to inject some blood and action to the main forum. We do not come out of our nest before feeling some commotion and excitement is going outside. You were not here to see how many times we brought life back here. It would be possible again if the mood here wasn't this fixed. There members who expressed I were the only one who could bring life back to this site. One of them was Noir haha my main so called rival on the main board. And I did it and it was okay until ... But doing so you have to make some noise to wake people. Then after a while you generate a group of people who you waked up and they are irritated with you. So I learned to be in my position you have to have some support, which I did not have because I did not team with any group. All my real friend left long time ago either physically or mentally.
So there are a lots of controversy around my name. I change my name, they spot me because of the hybrid and distinctive nature of my writing and associate me with the name ddavidd and then I do not need to do anything They, start to target me again. For example I did not say anything to you and you rampaged against me, why? Where was did I use "barbs and veiled insults" against you. But you did not hesitate to target me because I am different and have different way to expressing myself. And you wouldn't, if you did not know how isolated I am around here.

You said, you wouldn't answering anymore of my question, it is harsh thing to say while. I just came here to support you. But that is fine, if I knew you feel this way I wouldn't even bother.
Though, I wish you something from the bottom of my heart, and that is to be misunderstood at least once in your all good and dandy life, the way I am here, and see how it feels to be treated the way you treated me. And so be it!

Well replied, Ben

ddavid. your problem is that you ever view yourself as the victim. If, by now, you genuinely cannot see that there is a problem with the way you communicate, then you are not half as clever as you believe. Your comment about commercialism and 'laundry lists' was damn right rude, there's no way round that. You wrote it, it's your fault. You spend so much time aggravating people and pulling your own reputation apart bit by bit and screaming at the wind that it's everyone else's fault that it is - quite frankly - pathetic.
I come here to write and encourage and even discuss with intelligent people. I do not come to talk philosophy with fools and children who throw their toys out of their prams when people stand up to them. If you were half as intelligent as you would have us believe, you would not be getting yourself into such a mess round these parts all the time. A cynic may just believe that you do it on purpose, because unfortunately - if you do not - then you really are simply ignorant. Either way, you don't come out smelling of roses.

ps if the community of pnq is so against you, as you say, then why on earth do you keep coming back? The point is - ultimately - there isn't a single active person on pnq who will be surprised that it's you that has turned a thread like this into one filled with animosity. Please, leave me alone now and do what you do best - write some fairly good poetry.

No, Hellon, I didn't take it the wrong way at all, but perhaps I could have been clearer. I am fulfilling my dream. There will never be a teaching job more important and more rewarding than the one I am doing now. When we are done and they are older? Who knows...but when I hit middle-age, I can't see myself as having the patience to stand in front of a class full of kids while they insult me! Unless they bring the cane back.... :)

hello, Kitty.

Absolutely - living the dream already. Teaching the kids is marvellous.

I read avidly as a child as I do now. I used to love books like Treasure Island, The Coral Island, Kidnapped, Robinson Crusoe etc. And yes, I have read them all to the kids. I used to read a lot of fantasy too (The Sword of Shannara, Lord of the Rings - books like that).

of course there is a problem with the way I communicate: I am different!! People always treat other kinds ( specially when they are isolated) badly . It is in human nature.
What that do you think that Laundry list referred to? you ? I was giving credit to the way we were communicating, I was merely saying these kinds of discussion shed light to subjects that might be very unknown to some people, So I said even there WERE members who thought what they put on the paper is poetry and that was my objection to them.
You did not understand that , or miss understood that, and rampaged against me Thinking I was trying to put you down. Though I was trying to lift you up. ( Talking about backward visions)
Now everything That you said, and called me after was based on that unfounded misreading and has no legitimacy and they are licitness of your mistake.
So you owe me an apology, whether believe it or not. I know It takes a true heart to admit a mistake.

So I said even there WERE members who thought what they put on the paper is poetry and that was my objection to them.

^^

And this is my objection to you. You have an over bloated and entirely arrogant view of the world and your own opinions. What gives you the right to decide what people regard as poetry. As per our pms, you write free verse, a style widely disregarded until more recently. By thinking you know what poetry is and that there are those who write things that are not what you regard as verse, you are condemning your own chosen style (free verse) to ridicule. Poetry is about freedom of expression and art and it is personal and subjective. What is not a poem to you is a poem to someone else.

Take care, ddavidd - I think this conversation has run its course on this thread. You can continue to message me if you think it will help.

I disagree with you. I think most of people do not know what poetry is. And discussing what poetry is, is beneficial. For example there is a distinctive difference between your poetry and a laundry list, smashing that distinction is insulting to the poetry and also to your poetry. One is art and the other, only a laundry list. I am not saying the laundry list is not important. I am saying it is a different thing to the poetry such as yours.
This is beside the point though, whether we disagree or not. I do not care if you ever agree with me. The point is that we be free to express our opinion without getting insulted, persecuted, or conveniently misread or misconstrue our differences as insult.

"And this is my objection to you. You have an over bloated and entirely arrogant view of the world and your own opinions. What gives you the right to decide what people regard as poetry." ( your quote)
First, ALL THE RIGHT IN THE WORLD: I am INTITLE TO MY OPINION!!
Second, There is a definition to poetry that I happen to agree with. If you have opinion otherwise, you are entitle to it. But never prescribe me your idea or attack me by calling me: bloated and arrogant, when I express mine. This is not democratic way to conduct a constrictive discussion. It is intolerance to others opinion. If you do not want to hear others opinions which donot match your own, it is your problem because as soon as you utter your opinion out loud, you give permission to others to answer you and to express their differences. This is the soul of democracy.

One last thing
For those who do not feel to read all the reading above.
While I were complimenting Ben for his answers, I said:
"There were members here who alleged everything you put on the paper is poetry. I did not want to ridicule them by asking: what about commercial ads or laundry lists"

Ben take was: I meant by <<you>> Ben, but I didn't mean Ben I meant You in general ( I meant one, not Ben). So he got offended and said that I " ridiculed people with barbs and veiled insults" called me so many things and now even knowing he was mistaking, he turns and twirls so many ways, refusing to honestly acknowledge his mistake. I wonder, wasn't I a mirror that Ben saw himself, in calling me " bloated and arrogant" ?

peace out!!

Applauds and dips ones head.

Magnanimous to the core

Respect.

Craig

Jane and everyone else on this thread, thank you for your questions and time but I think I will draw an early conclusion to this here.
Keep writing what you like, keep shaping words from emotions and then you are a poet, no matter what anyone says.

Take care all.

I think from us all I can say.

Ben you are a bloody star, sometimes a dark star and sometimes a guiding one.

Craig

Ben!
I have always been wanting to say this, but since we are not hmm “closed friends” per se, I hesitate. Lol But, hopefully, someday ( far into the future), when I return to listen to the unknown ache in my chest, I’ll have the time to visit you in person and talk all about poetry. For now, all I got to say is keep writing until you become like Shakespeare and experience the freedom I believed he experienced. Though as for the poem “Apples that float away”, I believe you have experienced it as well, if only for a short time. That’s awesome.

Oh and as for my question... how many hours a day do you sleep?