What do you feel..

  • Michael
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Hi all,

    Just thought I would generate another discussion thread, without conflict or rights and wrongs. Just good old honest opinions and perspectives :)

    Okay I consider myself a polite, respectful and well-mannered old gent, to the best of my ability. I would like to draw the attention to PnQ and how people feel about the language of commenting, critique, constructive feedback, respect and all that's associated with these words (truthfully)
    What I would like to add is this is not about rules and regulations, scoring points or praising just to achieve awards-
    this is purely about you and your personal feelings, in regard to other poets on the site.

    Okay so I will get the ball rolling..
    So bearing in mind this is my personal ways and feelings (just me)

    When I receive a comment on my poetry that I have posted, I may on rare occasions of missed a reply, but on the whole for me I will always at the very least say

    'Thank you for reading my poem' as I feel this is just courteous to a fellow poet, and the fact that they have taken time to read and comment. I will leave some questions, and feel free (or not) to answer

    1. What do you do? when you have read a comment, that has been left for you

    2. Are you bothered, if nobody leaves a comment

    3. If you are left comments, and not interested in leaving a reply... would it be fair to state this to other poets or not?

    4. How do you feel when you leave a comment, and no acknowledgement has ben given?

    5. Do you always thank another poet for nominating (if able) your poem?

    6. Is it, or is it not important to you, to leave an acknowledgement?

    Okay so this is to get things warmed up. It is about being honest, not what the rules say remember.

    I am not saying that this is about time constraints and having conversation threads in comment boxes. Just your feelings and thoughts around comments left or not on your poem.

    And I will be honest to start. If a poet genuinely is not bothered by a comment, or bothered with leaving a replied acknowledgement. Please let me know, as I will leave no comment if that really is the truth, but this is the person and personality I am. I have never looked for praised comments etc. But my feelings are courteous, but this can be challenged here and discussed. I have always felt that we are here to inspire and encourage one another.

    So lets start a discussion (peacefully) :)

    Much love
    Michael

  • Mark replied to Michael
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Hi Michael, thankyou for opening this thread. In regards to acknowledging comments I feel it is not absolutely necessary - however in order to help grow a community like this... The 'favor' ideally should be returned. So if you were to comment on my work, I would try to comment on your work. That is an idea of courtesy I have. Its sort of like an unspoken acknowledgement and thankyou.

    Then am I suggesting that those who do not comment on works of those - who have commented on theirs - are uncourteous? Not at all. Maybe a number of reasons as to why they don't.

    Should they then leave a note in their profile stating such? I'm not sure.

    Only exception is if I feel any comment of mine (being a newbie) on a very senior poets work, might sort of appear to be arrogant. Like umm...who am i to comment? I have only 10 or so poems. Hard explaining this exception...so I hesitate to comment on their work... Even if they do so on mine .

    All I can add to this is I find this site experience more enriching by commenting on other works, focusing what time I have on that...might not have time to acknowledge all existing comments. Although I do concede that it would be beneficial if both were done.

  • Kitty Cat Lady
    2 weeks ago

    My thoughts, for what it's worth ...

    I've never seen anyone's work slated in a comment. Everyone that leaves a comment is usually very complimentary, kind, thoughtful and sometimes even constructive. That's what's lovely about this site. It's so supportive.

    I am therefore pretty delighted that someone has bothered to take the time to read what I've written and comment, and I think that it warrants in return the two seconds that it takes for me to say 'thanks'. :-)

    I don't comment on poems in order to receive reciprocal comments on my poems ... they might not like my stuff and that's fair enough. What moves people is so personal. But if I was leaving comments on someone's work and never got a 'thank you' I probably wouldn't continue doing so. It's just good manners I think.

    Kitty =^.^=

  • Risqué replied to Michael
    2 weeks ago

    Interesting topic.

    I'm of the opinion that if you are willingly signing up onto a site that has comments, then you are preparing yourself for any kind. I also believe that poetry is a work of art, which opens itself up to criticism, like any kind of art. That being said, I have noticed that every comment I have seen so far on this site (on my posts and others) has been a positive or neutral comment.

    I'm indifferent to leaving responses to comments and having comments left on my poems. I say this because this is done as a past time for me and a release and I don't think it fair to hold any expectations to the people here as they are likely using this site for the same reason. However, it would be foolish of me to state that I am not pleased when someone comments on my literature. Because of this, I do try to respond to others and respond to their replies as well.

  • CJ Maleney
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    As it's a personal opinion all are valid and here is mine

    1. if someone comments I always try to say thank you even if it's only a brief reply.

    If a poem gets a lot of contents I may reply to all in one message. Occasionally I will miss one also. We are human after all and we have work, kids and life in general to contend with. I've seen me trying to reply at 2am before (yeah I don't sleep well)

    2. If a poem is nominated I will thank whoever nominated it on once results are up. Again providing I know who it is. Had HMs and not even known it was entered. I don't always read nominated poems. When I have spare time I trawl for the weird and wonderful. Hence I miss stuff and some stealth nominate (Em for instance lol). Always a lovely surprise though.

    3. It's getting a lot more busy on here with new members and new threads popping up all the time. I'm sure people must think I'm arrogant, ignorant or just plain lazy at times. I'm not it's just hard to keep up.

    Sometimes I see the red dot pop up and I wanna ignore it as I've logged in especially to read. Yet you feel obligated to look and to reply. I don't wanna read stuff about me I wrote it hence I know what it's about. I wanna read others works and words.

    I've not really given a definitive answer here it's just an observation of how I've found things to be.

    Cracking thread by the way

    Craig

    Ps. I like what Michael said about trying to read the work of those who have commented on yours. Again It's not always possible I wish it were but it's not. I do try to catch up but it's difficult.

    Pps. When I win the lottery and retire I promise I'll be more attentive. Actually that's a lie. I'll be to busy in my yacht with the playboy bunnies lol

  • ddavidd
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Being courteous, as Michael himself is a prime example, and as so many others, is always good. Saying thank you to those who take time reading your poems is good, commenting those who comment your poetry is good. But not all these processes would necessary aid our poetry. The politeness, the etic of returning compliments, do not necessary the etic of a poetry site, or any artistic community.
    If you expect someone to say: your dress looks good too, after you complimented her dress, is more justified, then if someone writes a master peace and you compliment his/her piece, expecting that person right away to return the compliment on a poem that you just wrote and might not be your best, or he/she doesn't find it great. If that person compliments you out of politeness , etic, or whatever reason, when s/he is not really satisfied with its quality, that is dishonesty in my opinion. That also show s/he doesn't care enough about you, to let you know, which of your poems aren't ripped, reached their prim or ending…yet, if not by saying something, at least by saying nothing.
    I know in the site like ours writing critical analysis or constrictive criticism is impossible. Do not try, it doesn't work, trust me. First because most of us are not good at it ( criticizing). Second, we do not really want to change, we want support. Third, the act of sugar coding, specially in this site, is so advanced that sometimes even a less sugar coded compliment would sound impolite and rude.
    Here most of the supper active members are so polite and obey all the rules of curtsy and politeness. I saw sometimes that obedience obligates them to over use some adjectives to the verge of exhaustion: Masterpiece… (good poems are very objective, but masterpiece? not that much) And honestly when we calling average works of a rising poet, masterpiece, are we really helping?

    In the other hand here we have poets like Satish Varma, who is very strong, though he never responds to any comments, and never comments either. In his case, the fact that his poems are extremely strong is irrelevant; he rarely gets compliment or nomination, or ... So, this example makes it obvious that the popularity of our members and their poetry has less thing to do with the quality of their works, and more to do with how they can present themselves and use the courtesy and sweet talking, as a marketing tool.

    All these said. The system we have here is not perfect, but it works. There are lots of good poems created and admired here. The judging system has improved a lot. Judges, particularly the latest panel, give chance to everybody equally not only to old members or some special people.

    In the end here I just stated my opinion, please do not come lunching at me saying who you think you are telling us what to do. I am not. I’ve just said my side of the story, as I see it, as Michael asked, and as civil as passible. If we do not have difference of opinion, we do not need to converse and disuss anything.

  • CJ Maleney
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Biting my tongue and deleted my comments 3 times over because I don't think I would get away with what I desire to say and it was rather well constructed too.

    Some people take a hail stone and make a snow ball of it.

    Some people are like a little bit of butter, enriched but still just a knob.

    I will follow up on this when time allows, right now I am tired and pissed off.

  • ddavidd replied to CJ Maleney
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    :) :)

    It sounds genuine!!

  • Milly Hayward
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    I try to read as many poems as I can each week and I always try and leave a comment where ever I can. Sometimes a long in-depth feedback, others quite short it depends on how much energy I have. I am disabled so when very tired I might just leave an anonymous " like"

    If I don't like a poem I don't comment because I don't want to crush their creativity and I won't leave a comment unless I mean it.

    However if I want to make constructive suggestions then I tend to do this via private messaging so as not to embarrass the writer because you never know how someone might take it and they may not want it appearing in the midst of positive comments.

    If someone's read and commented on my poetry I generally read thiers and comment back as if they liked mine it's likely that I will like theirs. (I apologise if I've ever missed anyone)

    However if I start to read something of theirs I don't like ie because of the subject or content then I let the person know privately and look through their poems till I find a subject I can read or something I like.

    If someone leaves me a "comment and like" I do try either thank them in the post or privately because they've taken the time out not only to read it but also made time to comment.

    When I'm really tired and don't have the energy to thank everyone individually then I post a thank you to everyone in the one post

    It doesn't bother me if I don't get a thanks for my comment it's nice when I do but not expected.

    If I've noticed I'm nominated I thank the person privately and enthusiastically because they only get 3 votes and thought my poem good enough to give me one of them (There has been a couple of times when I didn't realise lol)

    I have nominated people and sometimes get thanks other times don't. Again it's not expected but nice to be thanked

    I do think commenting and liking and giving constructive advice is important because it helps the writer bench mark how they are doing and confirms that what they are writing is reaching out and giving pleasure to other people.

    Im sure not everyone thinks the same. Some people become obsessed with collecting likes and comments, others don't care either way. I fall in the middle.

    Im not obsessed with getting comments and likes but I love to recieve them and get very exited when I get them because it means that someone read my poem and liked it enough to acknowledge they read it and liked it. That means I'm doing something right with my writing.

    Milly x

  • Jamie replied to CJ Maleney
    2 weeks ago

    I won't bite my tongue. Some people have a stick up their ass when it comes to comments. I HAVE left negative feedback a lot of times and every single time I've got complaints for it. Quite frankly i am one of the best commenters on here because i am so honest. But i pretty much don't comment anymore because there is no point. Plus I've lost my touch. It sucks because i love commenting a lot more than writing poetry. I'm also indifferent on people who say thank you and i rarely ever do. But i do love getting comments. Anyone would.

  • Free verse replied to ddavidd
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Michael, I don't think this conversation will end on a good note.

    I believe in replying back, even if it just a small thank you.
    It's not sugarcoating it's a gesture saying thank you.
    And I comment on work of so many poets, hardly 2 - 3 poets reply back. Like out of 30 poets only 3 reply back to my work.
    So I think it's not sugarcoating either.
    I comment or I add some ones poem to my favorites because I like it not for sugarcoating.
    I am not doing so because others are doing the same.
    I don't like Justin Bieber or Taylor swift.
    My friends are crazy about them.

    And I don't find anything wrong in saying or using the word masterpiece. Poetry is also an art.

    Like, whatever David write, I believe he is Leonardo da Vinci of the poetry.
    Every poem of his like masterpiece to me.

    But then again the thing is I don't know his nature, he likes short comments or not and huge ones I can't do.
    So most of the times when he writes I don't comment on his poems I just like them because I don't know he likes the word 'masterpiece' or genius, written or used for his poems or not.

    But at least now I know.
    He doesn't like masterpieces.

    Thank you David.

    And completely agree with you Milly with what you said.

  • ddavidd replied to Free verse
    2 weeks ago

    O please do. I love "masterpiece" if is called genuinely. I love comments also, just do not like expectation.
    Thanks for the compliments. I feel honored.
    Thanks for responding. I see your point. I respect your opinion; it certainly helps to adjust and correct my own.

  • silvershoes
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    I'm liking the different opinions here. Lately there has been a lot of "groupthink" on PnQ and not enough critical thought. Disagreement and discussion = healthy. We should encourage each other to be honest and to feel safe sharing different or less common opinions. No shunning someone for having an alternate idea.

    "If we do not have difference of opinion, we do not need to converse and disuss anything"

    ^exactly. If we can't have a difference of opinion, what's the point of this thread? A great thread by the way!

    Here's my honest opinion: If I leave a comment on someone's poem, I have zero expectations. I'm genuinely surprised, albeit pleasantly, when someone thanks me for commenting, but I don't expect it and it in no way affects my opinion of that person if they don't thank me. We didn't have the option to "reply" to comments on our poems until fairly recently. I think the feature was only added a couple years ago. While I think it's a cool feature for when you want to respond to someone's comment directly, I don't think anyone should feel pressure to use it.

    Jamie, feel free to leave constructive criticism on my poems. I promise to not take it personally.

  • Michael
    2 weeks ago

    My, my reading through all of what everyone, so far has contributed is brilliant.
    This is the whole point, and I feel a real honesty shining through, as it should of course.

    I would like to add that, I would never comment, hoping for counter-comments. I read poetry, and in the past I have not left comments if the poem did not appeal. \I am learning all the time about myself and writing. I also am learning about being objective, questioning a poet about their writing.

    The main point is that I do not ever not want to say 'Thank you' I feel its an honour that another author has taken their time to read and comment.
    Why would you not?

    I assure you from my heart, this is not about 'giving to receive' what is the point in that? This is simply about respect, manners and being courteous.

    An example: Any poet/author who very rarely leaves anything or no acknowledgement for that fact, to another fellow poet. I am sorry but I really find this curious as to why? I mean how lovely to read a comment on our/your poem. Every poet/author must read the comments left. What I'm asking to any poet is what do you feel about what someone has written in comments..like 'Oh Michael you have such a way with words, and I so enjoy reading your poems' what a lovely and beautiful message. I am so happy, that I enjoy responding to that person, I really am.... sorry why wouldn't you respond? If not please bring it here so I can understand :)

    Much love
    Michael xx :)

  • mossgirl19
    2 weeks ago

    I like reading here a lot and leaving comments to the works...short comments which are my genuine feelings the moment I read the piece. I do leave long comments when I have the time.

    I give honest opinion on things I notice and I appreciate honest opinion on my works. Commendation or criticism on my works are welcome and I value inputs or suggestions when given so.

    I find it exciting to receive criticism...it has helped me personally in my writing. :-)

  • silvershoes
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Hi Michael,

    "I assure you from my heart, this is not about 'giving to receive' what is the point in that? This is simply about respect, manners and being courteous."

    Does this mean that you think if someone doesn't thank you for leaving a comment, they are being disrespectful, rude, and discourteous? I guess that's what I'm struggling with here. If that's how you'd think of yourself if you didn't say thank you, is that what you think of others who don't say thank you? This is a question for you, but also for anyone who might feel the same way.

    Here are various reasons why I sometimes don't thank someone who's left a comment:
    I don't think they mind either way (since I don't), and so it doesn't cross my mind.
    I'm doing multiple things at once.
    I'm distracted by something else while thinking up a reply.
    I want to give a more thorough response, but don't have time, so I intend on returning later, but forget.
    I don't want the person to feel obligated to say, "you're welcome."
    etc.

    I genuinely care about doing the right thing and being a good person. I guess I just never thought not saying thank you for a comment would reflect on my personhood. If others think when I don't say thanks, I'm being disrespectful, rude, or discourteous, that's something for me to consider.

  • Michael replied to silvershoes
    2 weeks ago

    Hi Silvershoes,

    What I am saying is that, I find it very difficult not to say 'thank you' to other members for leaving a comment, it really is that simple. I never once mentioned being 'rude'

    I'm saying while you are reading your comments from other authors, even with 10 comments, to say thank you (only) would take around 1 minute. I would feel saddened if someone 'felt' they had to. But you would have to be very honest if you really felt that way.

    If I was a guest poet of a very high professional status for example, and I left a comment on your poem, in truth would you respond? I would safely say, if Shakespeare came on PnQ and commented on every poets post in the last seven days, everyone single poet would reply.... No excuses!

    SShoes you mention 'not saying thank you for a comment, would reflect on your personhood' you have said this. and this is your own reflection. I am not saying that you or anyone else, should say thank you, I am curious why you would not take the short time to give a 'thank you' to another poet for reading and leaving a comment.

    I guess in reality we are all different, but i must say in my experience here on PnQ the majority of poets are courteous with comments, I would hope that all are genuine. And in truth there are poets that respond never, why is that?

    You mentioned that 'you don't think they mind, since you don't' is that a fair assumption?
    :)

  • silvershoes
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    You didn't write "rude," true, but I was trying to use the antonyms of what you wrote to get my point across. I figured "rude" was a reasonable antonym of having manners.

    I suppose what it comes down to is I worry you are being judgmental of those who don't write thank you, and I'm not sure how fair that is...

    I've never been one to think of celebrities as above the rest of us, so if I don't say thanks to Ben for leaving a comment, I probably won't say thanks to Shakespeare lol. (Ben is every bit the poet as Shakespeare in my opinion, which is why I use him as an example)

    Thank you for your openness, Michael. If I know PnQ at all, there will be members grumbling about my posts in private messages to each other, and so I especially appreciate and respect your candor :) I think sometimes people are scared to disagree with me because I'm a mod, and that's very unfortunate.

  • Hellon
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    I gave my opinion on this in another thread recently but, here goes again for those who may have missed it....I have a problem with the "thank you" comments being added to the total of comments on a poem. To me, it gives a very false reading as to how good the poem really is.When I see a poem with 20 comments or more and then I find that half of them are from the author saying thanks, it just irks me some how. As Jane said, this feature is fairly new and I think it was intended to reply to a comment that was asking a question/making a suggestion etc. Something that all members may be interesting in reading the author's reply.

    I personally don't think it's necessary to say thanks for a comment...not that I don't appreciate them, and, I never go back to check that any comments I may have left have been 'thanked' but, if a member feels the need then fine but, I don't think it should show as an extra comment.

  • silvershoes
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Forgot to respond to this part, I apologize.

    "You mentioned that 'you don't think they mind, since you don't' is that a fair assumption?"

    Good question. Well, that was only one of several of the explanations I gave for why I might not say thank you. Someone like Hellon, for instance, I assume wouldn't mind since I don't. I don't make that assumption about everyone. I just hope no one is judging me for not leaving a thank you when I would never judge anyone for doing the same. Honestly, and now that I've given it even more thought, I am usually in a very depressed state when I write poetry, which is not often. And so writing thank you while feeling heartbroken is the last thing on my mind, no matter how much I appreciate the supportive comments. I tend to close myself off completely and not want to communicate when I'm depressed.

  • Hellon replied to silvershoes
    2 weeks ago

    Someone like Hellon, for instance, I assume wouldn't mind since I don't

    ^^^

    I just confirmed this in my previous post, guess our fingers must have been busy typing at the same time haha!!!

  • silvershoes replied to Hellon
    2 weeks ago

    Haha! And there you have it.

    Okay, I will step back for now unless someone addresses me directly :) I don't want to hijack this thread.

  • Milly Hayward
    2 weeks ago

    I think that being part of this site you have to realise first and foremost that everyone is different.

    Different backgrounds, different life experiences, likes and dislikes, different drivers and most importantly different thresholds for accepting critisims.

    So what works for one person may not work for another. What's rude for one person may not be for another. What's upsetting for one may not be for another and what someone's reads as a masterpiece may be a heap of rubbish to someone else.

    Also motivations are different. Some thrive on in your face critism others will crumble and be destroyed and instead need nurture and encouragement.

    None of these aspects to people are wrong or more right than each other. We all just have different mental maps of the world but in order to work in harmony ttogether in a community we need to accept that our own individual ways of thinking will not be the right way of thinking for everyone else.

    Therefore when leaving comments you have to think very carefully about how your comments will be taken and try and be considerate and sensitive in the way that you deliver them. Mr Darcy and Ben are particularly good at delivering tactful constructive critism

    Problems arise when people leave seemingly inappropriate ir unwarranted tactless feed back that can come over as a personal dig at the writer rather than as a genuinely constructive critism. Which reflects badly on the person leaving it and generally upsets not only the poet but also other people who read it.

    Sometimes people leave backhanded comments that leave the poet and the readers wondering if the are complimenting or being insulting.

    In closing I would say you can never judge others by your own standards and what you think is right can be entirely wrong in some one else's eyes. It doesn't mean either way is right or wrong.

    All you can do is try and be considerate of other people's feelings. Try and sit in their shoes and leave honest but tactful feedback.

    if you feel you want to say something negative (because you feel it's being honest) then think about the many different ways it can be taken and take the time to write it in a way that is sensitive and won t cause offence.

    And remember that just because someone doesnt say thankyou every time shouldn't be taken to heart it could be they've not had the chance, think differently, forgot or just didn't think it was important.

    Milly x

  • Hellon
    2 weeks ago

    Maybe we need to seek guidance from the mods, in the absence of Janis, as to how the reply button should really be used? I have checked some of their poems to see how they manage this tool and none of them use it nearly as frequently as the members who seem to think it's ok to dash off a thank you every time they receive a comment so....mods...let's have your thoughts...Jane has given hers but, I'd love to hear from the rest of you, perhaps with suggestions as to better manage this???

  • Michael
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Hi all,

    It really is interesting to read peoples opinions and feelings. It really comes down to all of us as individuals how we manage ourselves on the site, how we respond to all comments/or not.

    I assure everyone that if I leave a comment on an authors poem, I do not trawl back through looking for a thank yous, however on many occasions I have questioned something in their poetry, to which I have not had a reply.
    To be honest people leave all kinds of different comments, some short some in depth. I really enjoy reading peoples comments on my poetry, which doesn't mean that I have any expectation every time I post a poem.
    For me personally, a 'thank you' can say quite a lot in terms of inspiration, taking time to read my poem, breaking a poem down etc.
    'Thank you' for me is a genuine response and I really do mean thank you. Some poets leave such wonderful comments/feedback.

    I guess the point I really like to make on this thread is that: If I leave a comment, and you state that you will not reply to comments I have left, then this makes sense and I respect this. I will also add that I have commented on many poets, and will continue to, and they have never read any of my poems. I have no problem with this at all. I would never look for 'if you don't, I wont'
    But I will say that I have read poets comments, and the author has thanked one out of several comments left, this I really do not understand.
    So the again the point of the thread is not the 'wrongs of rights' but a discussion around how we feel about comments/compliments left for us. How do we process what someone has left for us? How does it make us feel?
    ...and even if anyone said, I like comments left for me (because there is no doubting we all do), but I chose not to respond, then this is absolutely fine. Its only when there is nothing to go on, that's where my curiosity lies, hope I make some sense.

    And I would like to thank everyone who has come along and joined this thread. As with all threads it brings out people, so we all get to know each other a little more :)

    Much love
    Michael :)

  • Darren
    2 weeks ago

    I will respond to a comment purely based on how many words used in the comment.
    1-5 no response or acknowledgement from me and deletion from my Facebook
    6-20 I might say thanks.
    21-unlimited, I might copy and paste the best bits and use as comments on other people's work.
    We all need a code to work by. ;-)

  • ddavidd replied to Michael
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    Yes Michael, older members are not used to say thank you to comments under their own poems. We do not mean disrespect mostly a habit. Then the FaceBook ethics were not dominating yet.
    Also everything you said about yourself is accurate. But it is not correct if you think those who do not comment your work necessary do not read them. I for example love to read your works They delighted me from the beginning. And your manners also are so friendly. You remind me of Maple Tree, the sweetheart of this site, ( haha except the fact that you are not a sweetheart you are a gentleman)
    Also you and specially "mossgirl19" are on the top of my list of those who continually supported my works after, when for some personal reasons ~ physical and emotional~ stopped responding to comments. And that is the indicator of a great strength of character, at least in my book.
    All I am saying is that your grace has been observed by everyone, even though the subject doesn't pop up all the times. Howard Fast once said -a solid seed would never get lost in a farm- ( quoted from my memory)

  • Free verse
    2 weeks ago

    I love what Mel, Brenda and Em do every day.
    Read so many poems without any expectation and nominating them too.
    They are giving so much to this site.
    They comment on more than 100 poems every week but they hardly get 5 or 6 comments on their poems.
    They are just keep on giving their best to this site.
    Huge respect for Mel, Brenda and Em.

  • Em replied to Free verse
    2 weeks ago

    Thank you for your kinds words.

    Right for what it's worth here is my two pennies worth, firstly I'll answer the questions then I'll get to the nitty gritty and some people may not like it but I'm not trying to sound rude or ungrateful just saying how I feel.

    1. Sometimes it takes me a while (like Craig) to click on the red notifications as to me it's got to 'Facebookey' with the notifications and likes but when I do read the comments a smile crosses my lips especially when the comment is constructive in some way or other but like everyone here I like receiving feedback whether good or bad and for the people that religiously comment on my work please know you're appreciated.

    2. To be honest sometimes yes I am but that's because of the low self esteem and confidence and knowing I put my whole life story on here (it could be made into a book lol) but then the majority of the time I think to hell with it because I know deep down writing whatever I wrote that particular day has helped me emotionally than anything else because in a way I've been able to vent (without judgement) what's going on with me that day or in life recently.

    3. Personally I don't think it's fair but I also don't think it's fair for people to be judged whether they reply to comments or not as I guess the reply thing was put there for a reason but I don't believe the replies you leave on your own work should add to the entire comments thing (as Hellon stated) because general acknowledgement can sometimes be courteous and for the reason those comments are added to commentz altogether is one reason I don't reply as much as I used to.

    4. This doesn't faze me as I know we all have our own lives and not everyone leaves replies and why should we?

    5. I do try to thank people for nominations especially as I feel my poetry is no where near as good as others here but that also depends on if I know it's nominated as usually when I've written it I don't go back to it apart from when I comments are left or when I feel I need to edit a piece therefore sometimes miss out.

    6. Sometimes yes other times no.

    I am glad you opened this thread Michael because I feel it was important to have an honest conversation about it but I feel this may not end in happiness and I for one am a little annoyed that someone here continuously becomes arsey about comments yet deletes pieces none stop and for one I've never been bothered of a 'negative' comment from that person so they are certainly lying on that front.

  • silvershoes
    2 weeks ago

    A few of you have written in one way or another that you think this thread is going to end badly, but I'm not sure how helpful that is --- it's like when someone says "awkwaaard" and then the situation becomes awkward. As a counter measure, I'd like to say I think this thread has gone very well already and it's only going to get better.

  • Kitty Cat Lady
    2 weeks ago

    I agree with Silvershoes here, it's a great post and has been really useful for me, as a newer member, to understand why not everyone responds to comments.

    As it's been said, we're all different and from all over the world ... we won't all feel the same about it.

    Most people that comment on a poem will also 'like' it, so I don't think it matters that responses to comments are added to the number of comments on a poem ... you can measure how well received a poem is by looking at the number of 'likes' rather than the number of comments?

    I will always respond to every comment ... that's just me ... so I'll always have twice the number of comments to 'likes'.

    Another point I'd like to make is this ... I have found as a newer member, that my responding to comments left on my poems, and other members doing the same, has been what's opened up a dialogue between us ... it's not just about saying 'thanks', it's also about communication and a way to build friendships on here.

    And while I'm here ... I think it's lovely how well new members are welcomed here by everyone. I know everyone doesn't see eye to eye at all times, but it's a great community that I'm very happy to be part of, so thanks to all of you that made me feel so welcome x

    Kitty =^.^=

  • ether
    2 weeks ago

    thank you for bringing this up. on the old version of the site you couldn't explicitly reply to comments, so i rarely/never do so now. but i have been thinking that this could be perceived as being "rude". your discussion above has been very helpful, thank you.

  • Em replied to ether
    2 weeks ago

    I only said about it not ending well because of the last part of my post as I wasn't sure if that particular person would take it the wrong way

  • silvershoes replied to Em
    2 weeks ago

    Gotcha, Em. That makes sense.

  • ddavidd replied to silvershoes
    2 weeks ago, updated 2 weeks ago

    :) :)

  • Nicko
    2 weeks ago

    Ha i feel like a women ....

    I was a man in a women's body before i was born.............

  • Brenda replied to Free verse
    2 weeks ago

    Awww thank you so much! I really appreciate such a sweet comment. I have been reading this whole thread and it's been interesting. I would be lying if I said I don't like getting comments on my writes. It's only human nature. I'm also ok if I comment on someone else's write and I don't get acknowledgement back. I wish I could give more in-depth comments on the poems I've read, darn things like work and home life get in the way, lol. I will continue to thank people for reading my writes, I don't do it for an award or to curry favor amongst other writers, it's just how I am. I have thoroughly enjoyed being on this site, I have met so many wonderful people from all over the world and have read incredible, incredible poetry. To put your heart and soul out on a public forum like P&Q and to be so warmly received has been something I never, ever, thought was possible. So, Michael that's my two cents.

  • Hellon
    2 weeks ago

    I will respond to a comment purely based on how many words used in the comment.
    1-5 no response or acknowledgement from me and deletion from my Facebook
    6-20 I might say thanks.
    21-unlimited, I might copy and paste the best bits and use as comments on other people's work.
    We all need a code to work by. ;-)

    ^^^

    OMG Darren..hilarious response!!!

  • - Mr. Darcy replied to Hellon
    1 week ago

    I totally agree. So funny! :0)

  • ddavidd
    1 week ago, updated 1 week ago

    Haha, recycling comments seems to be the solution.