Poet of the Fortnight #12: Kitty Kat Lady (Dec 4 - Dec 18)

I apologise for the late posting..... Its lovely to see you on the Poet of the Fortnight and to learn more about you. I myself started wearing hearing aids earlier this year and can really notice the difference when I take them out at night because everything sounds muffled like I've filled my ears with cotton wool.

The questions that I would like to ask you are these...

A) Which famous woman inspires you historically or current if any?
B) If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
C) If your house was on fire which three things would you grab and take with you and why?

All my best wishes Milly x

Tee hee! ;-) x

Hello Mr anti tea/cat man :-)

If you could make but one mythical creature real what would it be and for what reason.

What! Erm ... I can't say this is something I think of often Craig! If I had to choose, I guess I'd say a phoenix because I can relate to rising up again from bad times. Yeah! :-) x
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If it's a question by me ya know it's gonna be random lol

Good answer though.

I asked the same question of myself and I was really stumped.

Everything I thought of would either get hunted down or create total chaos.

I finally settled on the luck dragon from never ending story.

Who wouldn't want a big, fluffy luck dragon that can fly?

Hi Mel! :-)

Thanks so much .. I was the youngest of five kids, they all got 'normal' names, then my parents decided to go mad with me! I love it too though x

Do you have a favorite romance/love poem? What is it and who wrote it?

Ooh, very tricky as I really don't read poetry outside of this site.

'Nature's Nectar' by Mr Darcy was written for me way back in 1999 and I loved it!

I find song lyrics very moving and I love the lyrics of Dire Straits 'Romeo and Juliet'.

There's a few poets here that write some very swoony stuff, but it wouldn't be fair to single them out. Would it? ..... :-) x
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Black mirrors ddavidd? What's that? What did I miss! Lol :-) x
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Lol Craig, who wouldn't indeed!
Craig@random.com ;-) x
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Hi Milly :-) It's really lovely to hear from you xx

I'm the same when I take my aids out at night ... very muffled, but at least I'm not bothered by 'night noises' (except for snoring ... a common misconception that deaf people aren't disturbed by snoring ... but we are because it vibrates!!)

Thanks so much for your fab questions :-)

A) Which famous woman inspires you historically or current if any?
This would have to be Rosa Parks. In the 1950's she, as a black woman, refused to give up her bus seat to a white person, and so began the year long bus boycott that led to the end of bus segregation. As a woman in those times in America, and moreover, a black woman ... imagine the level of "THAT'S ENOUGH!" she must have endured to get her to that point which could have potentially have threatened her freedom, or worst, her life, in those days. I really admire her for making a stand for what was right, for having the dignity to know she mattered just as much as a white person, and for her bravery! The civil rights movement owes a lot to that one act.

B) If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
Ooh! I'm nothing if not flawed! It wouldn't be any physical thing ... I've been fat and I've been thin and in-between, and I've learned the hard way that the only opinion that matters about how I look is my own. I'd love to have the ability to switch off easier ... I tend to over-think things and dwell on past mistakes which achieves absolutely nothing! And I'd love to be able to give up smoking for the last time and never ever be tempted again!

C) If your house was on fire which three things would you grab and take with you and why?
I've had a really big think about this ... Assuming that my son and cat we're already saved ... honestly nothing. I'd be devastated if I lost precious photos and videos of my son ... but I've already addressed that fear by giving his dad a copy of everything ... so unless both our houses burned down on the same day ... I know it's all safe! :-) Everything else I own is replaceable and I'm not overly attached to anything I own :-)

Thanks Milly :-) x
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Time to play catch up. Edit: OOPS. Wrong account. This is Jane/silvershoes.

Lia is a beautiful name.

I appreciate that your motto is "say what you mean and mean what you say" because you certainly seem like a person who has convictions that don't contradict themselves. For instance, you love animals and you are a vegetarian. This is a personal contradiction of mine that creates cognitive dissonance. I love animals and yet I make excuses for why I eat meat.

Omg, I can't sleep on planes either! I was telling someone the other day how I couldn't sleep on a 17-hour flight to Australia. I get the sensation of falling or like the plane is going down every time I start to drift off -- is it the same for you? I can't sleep in cars either.

"I think I'd have enjoyed the decadence of the 1920s ... the dancing and parties and everyone dressed smartly." Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I absolutely adore the eloquence, decadence, and cleverness of the 20s. And the few decades just before as well. Do you watch Downtown Abbey? Do you read Jane Austen or Emily Bronte?

"But the thing that annoys me the most is the people that think they're better than other people; who think their needs and demands are greater and their time more precious. I just don't have time for those sorts of people. Everyone has a story. Everyone has had a hard time. No one person should matter less than the next (I make an exception here for murderers, rapists, abusers and those that are cruel to animals for sport ... these people matter less than me for sure!)" -- Well said!

While I love dogs, I completely agree with you about cats and how it can feel more meaningful when they give you love and affection because they are not instinctually "people pleasers." However, having fostered quite a few abused/neglected dogs, sometimes it takes just as long to earn the love of a dog. I love cats just a tiiiiiny bit more than dogs though :P

Tom Hanks is a great choice. Good actor and a good man.

About dreaming in color: I have vivid dreams and always dream in color. I know because I usually have animals in my dreams (cats, dragons, horses, etc.), and I notice their colors :) Funny how you realized you dream in color for the same reason: A giant YELLOW cat. "Also, I was kissing a cowboy, but I'm not sure that's relevant ;-)" -- LOL!!

"I completely agree that cats choose their humans" --- I completely believe this too, at least for stray cats. Multiple cats 'found' me and it's like they knew I would rescue them and fight tooth and nail for their health and survival.

"I want to see New York and San Francisco in particular ... " These are my stomping grounds. I grew up across the bridge, less than 10 minutes from San Francisco. Half my family lives in New York City. Come visit! At the very least, I'll have plenty of suggestions for you, but who knows, maybe we can grab some tea at a cat cafe ;)

Did you really just say Jeffrey Dean Morgan is your celeb crush? I fell in love with him in Grey's Anatomy. Now I have to watch The Good Wife.

Okay, I'm all caught up. Time for some questions...

Question #1: What are some of your recurring dreams?

Question #2: If you could magically insert yourself into the 20s, what social class would you place yourself in? What would your home and hobbies or surroundings be like? What country do you picture yourself in? Do you think you would've been interested in the suffragist movement?

Question #3: You mentioned people can make bad cups of tea, and now I'm worried that I don't know how to make tea haha. How does one make a very good cup of tea? What types of tea are your favorite?

So you haven't seen them yet. Sorry kitty. In the group of people around me we all talk about it often so it was easy for me to assume that others as well have seen it. "Black Mirror is a British-American science fiction anthology television series created by Charlie Brooker,"wiki
It is a very brilliant revealing of the dark side of modern life and the destructive effects of technology. There are 13 episodes yet. They might start making it again.
They are quite entertaining too.

Ooh I love Jodi Picoult! Her books are amazing. You know who else is so very hot? Sam Heughan, he plays Jamie Fraser on Outlander. That man is gorgeous lol! If you come to the states feel free to come to Michigan. It would be awesome to meet a fellow P & Qer. we can have tea and chat about cats. Craig, you can come too but we will drop you off at the nearest coffee shop so you can drink that nasty stuff all you want. 80's music is awesome. I love the "hair bands".
P.S. Coffee is still blecccchhhhhh.......:)

Hi Jane :-) x

Lia is a beautiful name.

aw ... thanks :-)

I appreciate that your motto is "say what you mean and mean what you say" because you certainly seem like a person who has convictions that don't contradict themselves. For instance, you love animals and you are a vegetarian. This is a personal contradiction of mine that creates cognitive dissonance. I love animals and yet I make excuses for why I eat meat.

Ah Jane ... in the animal love/vegetarianism thing I'm not contradictory - although I'm far less radical about it all now than in my younger years ... but rest assured, if it was between me and the pig for survival - the pig's getting it! My issue is more to do with animal cruelty and hunting ... I can hardly bear to even think about it :-( But I contradict myself in lots of other ways and despite not eating meat, rarely drinking alcohol and having a workout every other day - I smoke ... so that's where my dissonance lives!

Omg, I can't sleep on planes either! I was telling someone the other day how I couldn't sleep on a 17-hour flight to Australia. I get the sensation of falling or like the plane is going down every time I start to drift off -- is it the same for you? I can't sleep in cars either.

It's not so much the sensations of flying that keep me awake ... I'm just a rubbish sleeper anyway, so if I can't lay down and I'm sat up, surrounded by other people, it just isn't happening. As for cars ... I get car sick, so I can't sleep in those either! I'm fine if I'm driving, but if I'm a passenger, I have to sit in the front and look out if the window or I'll get sick!

"I think I'd have enjoyed the decadence of the 1920s ... the dancing and parties and everyone dressed smartly." Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I absolutely adore the eloquence, decadence, and cleverness of the 20s. And the few decades just before as well. Do you watch Downtown Abbey? Do you read Jane Austen or Emily Bronte?

Ooh yes to Downton Abbey ... it was a fantastic show. And I've read Austen and Bronte in the past, but not for years :-)

"I want to see New York and San Francisco in particular ... " These are my stomping grounds. I grew up across the bridge, less than 10 minutes from San Francisco. Half my family lives in New York City. Come visit! At the very least, I'll have plenty of suggestions for you, but who knows, maybe we can grab some tea at a cat cafe ;)

Fantastic! Thanks Jane :-)

Did you really just say Jeffrey Dean Morgan is your celeb crush? I fell in love with him in Grey's Anatomy. Now I have to watch The Good Wife.

I really did :-) I loved him in Grey's too, which incidentally is my fave show ever! But in The Good Wife ... he's matured a bit and is just totally yummy :-)

Question #1: What are some of your recurring dreams?
There's a fair few, but I'll share two ...
I'm at the top of a tower that has stone spiral stairs all the way up, and I'm crouching in fear of large feet that are making their way up to me ... I always wake up before they get to me. I know the reason for this dream too ... as a child I LOVED reading (still do) but I shared a room with two of my sisters and at bedtime, they'd insist on all the lights being out. So I used to creep onto the landing where the light was always on, to read my books. My dad used to wear sandals that had metal buckles that would jingle, and I used to read, but listen out for the jingling of his shoes coming up the stairs, then rush back into bed and pretend to be asleep! I got caught on several occasions and admonished for not being in bed!

The next one is: my son in grave danger and needs me ... I start running to him but my feet grow larger and larger, almost like clowns feet, slowing me down and tripping me up ... I always get the feeling of wading through water, desperate to save my son but unable to reach him. I'm usually pretty upset when I wake from this one!

Question #2: If you could magically insert yourself into the 20s, what social class would you place yourself in? What would your home and hobbies or surroundings be like? What country do you picture yourself in? Do you think you would've been interested in the suffragist movement?

Well ... as it's magical ... I'd be in the upper class of course darling! My home would be fabulous and I'd spend my time socialising, dancing and entertaining thoroughly unsuitable fellows ;-) I think I'd still be in England. And absolutely YES I'd be totally involved in the suffragist movement ... I'd be bristling with indignation that a man was allowed to do something and I wasn't! I'm all about equality for everyone :-)

Question #3: You mentioned people can make bad cups of tea, and now I'm worried that I don't know how to make tea haha. How does one make a very good cup of tea? What types of tea are your favorite?

Haha ... this made me giggle ... I guess it's different for everyone and traditionalists would make it in a teapot. For me it's a very large mug with a tea bag in it (I guess you'd call it English Breakfast tea). Boiling water goes in and tea bag is thoroughly squished with a tea spoon and removed from the mug ... then just a bit of milk is added. This makes lovely, strong 'builders' tea we call it. Badly made tea is when it's got too much milk in it or it's too cold because it's been in a teapot first. If you like your tea the way you make it ... then you're doing it right Jane! :-)

Thanks for the questions x
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Ah ... I'll have to look it out ... sounds good! Thanks ddavidd :-) x
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Hey Brenda :-) I completely missed Outlander, but you're right ... he's hot and Scottish! I'll just pop up and get him ;-)

Tea and cat chats in Michigan sounds awesome! :-) x
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PS ... tea all the way Craig ... you're soooo out-voted! ;-) haha

:) :)

OK so I'll admit it I'm too behind and yes too lazy to read all the thread (apologises)
So if I ask a question that had already been asked then just say pass haha no doubt I'll ask something I already have that's just who I am memory like a sieve
Anyhow.....

1) Do you have a morning ritual like something you really must do in the morning obviously other than the usual of coffee/tea, breakfast, teeth etc lol like something quirky that day others may think obsurd?

2) What is the best/least favourite gift you have ever received?

3) If you've received a gift you didn't particularly ike have you ever put it on eBay/a selling site or do you just go and exchange it?

Sorry for the strange questions but it's nearly Christmas hahaha!!!

4) If you were stranded on a desert island what are 3 things you'd likely have with you and what are 3 things you would have loved to have with you? Hopefully that makes sense

Take care and fantastic answers
Em xx

Just skimmed through, but Black Mirror is a great show. I love that the episodes are all different and they make you think lol
They're set up on my Netflix from last episode to first, so I ended up rewatching them in the right order

Anyway, I would probably give up a food item instead of an animal, too! Lol
I'm allergic to most furry animals, especially cats, but I love them too much. Haha

I'll be back to ask more!

Hi Em :-) x
Great questions!

1) Do you have a morning ritual like something you really must do in the morning obviously other than the usual of coffee/tea, breakfast, teeth etc lol like something quirky that day others may think obsurd?

I guess the only thing that's different is that I get up and work - immediately. I literally wake up, put PJs and shoes on and go out to the cats. I give them all their breakfast and sort out the litter trays from overnight and then go back into the house for my own breakfast and a cuppa of course ;-)

2) What is the best/least favourite gift you have ever received?

I think the best gift was a Kindle ... I really didn't want one as I love books, real books, and thought it would spoil the reading experience ... but I received one as a gift and ... now I love it. It's much more comfortable to read in bed AND I can make the words bigger and pretend for longer that I don't need reading glasses ;-)
Worst gift: I've always received cat-themed gifts here and there, but when I first opened the business a few years ago, for my birthday (in December) and for Christmas that year, every single gift I got was cat-themed. Scarves, bags, cushions, ornaments, key-rings, jewellery ... you name it! You know I LOVE cats, but I kind of reached my limit that year! (please note ... I was very grateful to get gifts, but the amount of 'cat stuff' in my house exceeded even my level of 'crazy cat lady'!)

3) If you've received a gift you didn't particularly ike have you ever put it on eBay/a selling site or do you just go and exchange it?

I'd have no issue with exchanging it, selling it or re-gifting it, and I wouldn't mind if someone did that with a gift I gave them ... we don't always get it right do we :-)

4) If you were stranded on a desert island what are 3 things you'd likely have with you and what are 3 things you would have loved to have with you? Hopefully that makes sense

ooh ... ok ... 3 things I'd probably have with me: lip balm, my phone, my medication (I have restless leg syndrome and I'm miserable without my meds that stop it!)
Things I wish I had with me: A wind-up radio (would you feel stranded if you had music I wonder?), a knife (to get into the coconuts and chop twigs for the fire), a lighter (for the fire ... food and warmth)

Thanks Em :-) x
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Hi Liz :-)

I'll need to get this then ... I don't have Netflix (shock! Horror!)

Some cat breeds are less allergenic than others ... just saying ;-)

:-) x
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If you watch Black Mirror, don't let the first episode scare you off. It's really disgusting and mortifying, but every episode is its own, completely unrelated story. It's a cool show. Definitely makes you think about the way the world is heading and if certain outcomes are possible.

Thanks for answering my first 3 questions and responding so thoroughly. Let's get another 3 down! All related to your line of work :P

Question #4: How did you start your cat business? How did you get your name out there, did you need to convert a building to suit your needs, did you have to get licensed? How does the business function? Where are the cats kept and what sort of paperwork do cat owners need to sign when handing their fur babies over? I'm asking for... personal reasons. I think I want to open a cat business. It sounds like an amazing job since I'm a huge cat lover.

Question #5: What is the worst or strangest experience you've had since opening your business? The best or most pleasantly memorable?

Question #6: Do you see yourself in this line of work long term? Do you have hopes to expand the business somehow?

I'm sorry if you don't like talking about work! I'm just so incredibly curious.

Hi Jane :-)

I have no issues talking about my job ... apologies to the non-cat folk on here ;-)

Question #4:
How did you start your cat business?
I hadn't worked for twelve years as I'd been caring for my very poorly son. When he got better, it was the absolute best thing (other than him being born in the first place!) that had ever happened to me, but it left me a little redundant. I've always loved cats so it wasn't too big a stretch to see myself as a cattery owner. :-)

How did you get your name out there, did you need to convert a building to suit your needs, did you have to get licensed?

A website, lots of local advertising, open days, networking, social media, and then customer recommendations ... doing the job really, really well means you get lots of repeat custom and word of mouth business. The building in my garden is purpose built for cat boarding ... it's very pretty and all the materials used are completely cleanable (a world away from the 'old-style' wooden shed type of cattery!) Regards to the licencing ... yes ... the local authority have to licence all animal boarding establishments and inspect them regularly. I think that's a really good thing.

How does the business function? Where are the cats kept and what sort of paperwork do cat owners need to sign when handing their fur babies over? I'm asking for... personal reasons. I think I want to open a cat business. It sounds like an amazing job since I'm a huge cat lover.

The business runs 7 days a week, so I work every day, even Christmas day etc. I start before 7am and usually say goodnight to them around 9pm. In between that, they get cuddles, grooming, playtime and feeding etc. I also take very elderly cats, most of whom are on medication or needing injections ... I do all of that too. It's a lot of work and I employ a lady part-time to help when it's super busy. The job is just as much about looking after the owners as it is the cats though. Don't underestimate how loved people's animals are. Owners need a lot of on-going reassurance that their cats are happy and settled, so a lot of my time is spent taking photos of the cats and emailing their owners. Of course, running a business comes with all of the usual paperwork: bookings, accounts, promotion etc. It's much more work than I had assumed when I started!
Each cat, or family of cats staying together, get their own beautifully decorated suite with an indoor heated space with a bed and a pillow on a shelf off the floor, and they also each have an 'outdoor' area ... it's covered so they don't get wet, but is mesh fronted so they get fresh air. All cats that stay have to be fully vaccinated and treated for fleas and worms ... if they're not, they can't come! All of this paperwork is done at the time of booking, often months in advance, so when they bring their cats, we can just have a chat and get the cats settled in.

Question #5: What is the worst or strangest experience you've had since opening your business? The best or most pleasantly memorable?

Worst: Aggressive cats are rare and I believe only ever aggressive out of fear ... I can usually win them over. But I had one Ragdoll cat that just really went for me - constantly! I had to make a shield out of a blank art canvas, just so that I could get in and out of his room to feed him and clean etc. Aggressive cats are terrifying. His owners knew what he was like, but had declined to mention it when they brought him to me! Before I realised his temperament, he managed to get one very bad scratch on my hand.

Best: I had a cat come to stay that had been rescued from an awful situation. His owners told me how fearful he was of anyone but them. It had taken them the best part of a year to get him to trust them. They expected him to just hide for the entire week. The poor boy really was terrified ... but I worked my charms on him, and by the end of the week I was able to send his owners a photo of him curled up on my lap. It was a real personal achievement for me :-)

Question #6: Do you see yourself in this line of work long term? Do you have hopes to expand the business somehow?

OK, this is the sad bit :-( Due to getting divorced, I'm having to close the business early next year, as it's only a small business, and I don't make enough to pay for a mortgage etc. We've looked at all possible ways of avoiding this, and I've had to admit defeat. But I can't stay unhappily married for the business. It's heartbreaking for me as it's my dream job and I've put so much into it. On the bright side ... I'll be able to get a job where I can have weekends off and holidays ... that's what I've missed the most. It's an amazing job, but it can be very restrictive and sometimes isolating. I shall miss the kitties terribly though :-(

Thanks for the questions Jane ... if you're serious about opening a cattery, feel free to message and I'll give you lots more detail! :-) x
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Oh no, that makes me so sad that you have to close your cattery. Maybe this will just be an indefinite break so you can work a different type of job, make some new friends, and have weekends to yourself, then in the future, you can potentially open another cattery. You already know how it works and it sounds like you've built a little kitty empire in no time. I would definitely entrust you with my cats, and I am extremely protective of them. I've always been skeptical of catteries, but it's nice to know there are some really stellar places for kitties to vacation. We're leaving for a week in January and usually I entrust my cats to my parents, but they'll be in New Zealand, so I'm scrambling to figure out something that will be most comfortable for them and so I won't be worried the whole time. Hoping one of my more reliable, animal-loving neighbors will be able to do it... Anyway! Yes, I'm interested in opening a cattery, but probably not for a few years because I'm so busy right now. Stick around and I will definitely look to you for advice when the time comes. Enough about me :) But thank you SO much for answering my questions. Maybe not the most interesting thing for others, especially people who don't like cats, but I was thrilled to read everything you wrote about your cattery.

Okay, next question.

Question #7: Where do you see yourself in 25 years?

Aw thanks Jane ... I'm sure my place in this world is unfolding exactly as it's supposed to, so although it seems a bit sad now - no doubt there's some other adventure waiting just around the corner :-)

Question #7: Where do you see yourself in 25 years?

Hmmm .... well .... I honestly have no clue nor plan ... in 25 years I'll be 69 (omg!) maybe THEN I'll feel like a grown-up? lol
In the fantasy world, I'll be happy in a relationship, my son will be happy and healthy and will have given me a few grandchildren to adore, I'll have retired from my wonderful job (no idea what that job is yet!) and I'll be living a life of leisure, close to wherever in the world my son might be living. I imagine I'll still be dancing, and filling my time with creative pursuits ... making interesting things and travelling to interesting places ... maybe I'll even have that book written by then (you know the one ... that book we each have in us and intend to write when we get time!) :-) x
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OK this is my final question and for once it's serious.

How important do you consider poetry to be.

This question is not unfounded. As a young person I was obviously schooled in English, both grammar and in literature.

As a student, I can not on any occasion that I recall, being guided towards poetry.

I feel somewhat robbed by this and annoyed.

Regards

Craig

CJ, what a great question!

Kitty, I really admire your openness and how well you seem to know yourself. It's a breath of fresh air. Not sure how else to phrase it.

Question #8: Do you think anonymity encourages people to misbehave or do you think it reveals how people would choose to act all the time if they could?

Hey not-so-random Craig ;-) x

How important do you consider poetry to be?

Fab question! I don't remember being guided towards poetry either and I know very little about the classic poets. But maybe this is a generational thing, as my son has most certainly studied poetry a fair bit at school and he understands the correct terms within poetry. When I made a miserable attempt at a sonnet, it was he that pointed out my lack of iambic pentameter etc.

But to answer your question, honestly ... if you'd asked me this before this summer, I would have said 'it's not all that important' it's just another form of creativity of the written word - which I consider to be incredibly important. However, since writing poetry myself, and using it as a way of expressing my thoughts and feelings, I would now say it's VERY important. It has been so cathartic for me to get my thoughts down, and doing it in a poetry form, has led me to explore my mixed emotions more thoroughly, it's very therapeutic. Added to that, the feedback given from this site, both about the structure of the actual poem, and support about it's content, adds to the whole experience. Reading everyone's poetry here, gives you a unique window into the thoughts and feelings of others too, and that creates a community.

And yet, I still have not sought out poetry away from PnQ ... I'm not sure if that's due to a lack of time or interest, maybe I'm just a bit 'closed' to seek it elsewhere when I'm surrounded by hundreds of books that I've still yet to read, and when I've learned so much about poetry from PnQ. I did read a few of Shakespeare's sonnets when I was trying to write one myself, and it was very interesting ... but then everything he wrote generally is.

Therefore - I consider poetry to be as important as any other form of the expressed written word - but each reader will seek the form of text that they get the most out of. I do believe that schools mostly are, and should, introduce poetry to children, just as much as books.

Thanks Crazy Craig! :-) xx
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Hi Jane :-) x

Kitty, I really admire your openness and how well you seem to know yourself. It's a breath of fresh air. Not sure how else to phrase it.

Ooh thanks so much for saying that, love that! :-)

Question #8: Do you think anonymity encourages people to misbehave or do you think it reveals how people would choose to act all the time if they could?

Gritty question! No short answer either ... are you sitting comfortably? lol

'Misbehaving' is different to each person. What I consider 'normal' or 'morally correct' another might consider to be outrageous and morally wrong, and I think our perspectives of 'good behaviour' change with our situations.

Case in point ... as you know I'm all about animal welfare and I'm against animal cruelty. However, my son has had a lifetime of medical treatment, and has been saved by drugs and procedures, which were no doubt at some point, tested on animals before gaining approval for human use. Should I have stuck to my morals and refused the treatment that kept him alive? Some might say yes, but of course, I'd have done - within reason - WHATEVER it took to keep him alive ... I had to shift my moral beliefs to fit in with my situation, so that my son could stay alive, and so that I could live with myself. And no doubt, I'd shift my morals again if it suited me - I think that's human nature.

Another example: some people believe that homosexuality is morally wrong - the very epitome of 'misbehaving' - whereas others understand that it's just an undeniable facet of human sexuality - always has been, always will be. But imagine if you were a homosexual living in a place where everyone around you considers it to be 'misbehaving' ... I think the anonymity of the internet would almost certainly encourage you to seek to get your natural needs met without the backlash of the judging population.

So no, I don't think anonymity encourages people to misbehave. I think truly 'bad' people (according to my own view of what is right or wrong of course) will misbehave no matter what - it's more a question of trying not to get caught.

I think it's more that anonymity allows people to behave in a way that they would if they were not going to be judged for it. On the whole, I think society can be pretty closed-mined and intolerant - but you have to walk a mile in someone else's shoes to truly appreciate why their behavior might not conform to social 'norms'.

That's my penny's worth! Thanks for the great question Jane :-) x
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Thank you for your fantastic insight,

Craig x

Lia, I have just caught up on this thread & have to say you have a rich and diverse inner life as well as a most impressive outer one.

If you were magically qualified for a loan to start a large scale boarding facility, perhaps adjoining a veterinarian clinic, would you do it? Or do you feel you need to take time off for a while?

Hi Larry :-) x

Thanks so much for your kind words - I really appreciate it :-)

If you were magically qualified for a loan to start a large scale boarding facility, perhaps adjoining a veterinarian clinic, would you do it? Or do you feel you need to take time off for a while?

Oh that's easy! I'd do it in a heartbeat! Working with cats and their owners is what I'm good at, and I'm very proud of the cards and gifts of thanks that I receive from my customers, as well as really lovely Google reviews - it's so heartwarming to do a job well enough that people come back to me time and time again and I'm very proud of that.
I'm really only closing because I absolutely have to. If I was able to raise the cash to do it on a bigger scale, then the other small issues I have about it (working mostly alone and not getting any time off) would magically disappear because a larger place would enable me to take on staff that could cover me for a break and work alongside me so that I wouldn't occasionally feel isolated. It would be a winner all round!

:-) x
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Lia, have you thought about setting up a cat rescue charity and try and get funding from one of those money raising sites that seem to be on the internet? That way if you can get enough donations that could pay you a salary and you might be able to get volunteers help as well? I've seen some small dog rescue charities who work closely with their local vets and seem to be quite successful. It would be such a shame for you to have to give up your perfect job. Best wishes Milly x

I'll have to read through the rest when i get more time, but for now....

What is (in your opinion) the boldest, most out of your comfort zone thing you've done?

I agree 100% with your insight into my last question, Kitty.

Question #9: If you could spend 3 hours inside the mind of any person, dead or alive, who would you choose? Would it be at a specific time, or just any random 3 hours?

Question #10: What are several books that strongly inspired you or changed the way you perceive/think about the world?

Hi Milly :-) x

It's certainly something to think about for the future. It's too late now to stop the process of closing the business and selling the house - but I'd certainly consider doing something like this further down the line :-)

Thanks for thinking of me xx

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Hi again Liz :-) x

What is (in your opinion) the boldest, most out of your comfort zone thing you've done?

I've been thinking about this for ages! I've never done anything like jump from an aeroplane etc. I'm fairly bold by nature (I'm bet you all guessed that!) but I think one of the hardest/boldest most daring things I've done was having a heated debate with an anesthetist and a surgeon prior to one of my son's operations. My son was terrified of needles (I won't say needle-phobic, because a phobia is an irrational fear, and his fear was genuine due to the amount of them he had to endure!) and they wanted to use his central line (a permanent catheter that was placed into his heart for intravenous feeding) to administer the anesthetic. His central line was extremely precious and prone to infection - which would have been life-threatening. We had been told in no uncertain terms to guard his line with our lives and I did not allow ANYONE except myself and his dad to touch it. It was the only way to keep it safe. The plan for anesthesia had been to use a sleeping gas to make my son sleep and then find a peripheral vein for the anesthetic. They changed the plan at the last minute, for no apparent reason, and wanted to use his line. That just WAS NOT going to happen!

It may not sound like much, but it's a very hard thing to stand up to people so revered such as surgeons, when they're so sure they're right. I got my way, and my son's line was never touched by anyone else for the entire 12 years he had it. He didn't get a single line infection and his consultant credits our care for that. Most children with his condition and on the treatment he had, don't survive. If their condition doesn't kill them, a line infection does. He's 17 now. He survived and is no longer on any invasive treatments. He's bloody amazing!

Thanks for the question Liz :-) x
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Hi Jane :-) x

Question #9: If you could spend 3 hours inside the mind of any person, dead or alive, who would you choose? Would it be at a specific time, or just any random 3 hours?

Hmmm ... ok - I think it would have to be Charles Darwin, in the 3 hours prior to his death. I'm an atheist and Darwin was massively instrumental in offering a scientific explanation for 'life' and evolution that makes sense to me. He did this at a time when EVERYONE was very religious and it must have cost him a lot on a personal level to have the conviction of his beliefs and go against the tide. I'd love to be in his head at the end of his life, while he reflected on the work he'd done. Was he at all aware of how influencing his body of work would be? Did he have any regrets about publishing his work? Did he have any doubts about it? Was he scared of death? Was there anything else he'd learned that he hadn't yet shared?

Question #10: What are several books that strongly inspired you or changed the way you perceive/think about the world?

yes there's a few:
- Charles Darwin: The Origin of the Species (see above)
- M. Scot Peck: The Road Less Travelled (great for making you think about how you deal with stuff)
- Luke Rhinehart: The Dice Man (what might life be like if you lived it on the toss of a dice?)
- Oliver James: They F**K you up (great insight into family life and the role you play in it)
- Flora Rheta Schreiber: Sybil ( a much debated story about a woman with multiple personality disorder - fact or fiction - still unknown I think)
- Jodi Piccoult: My sister's keeper (what would you do in this situation? would you have a child to act as a donor [parts not the whole child] to save your existing child? For most this is a resounding 'NO' , however - if I'd been told that my son could have been saved by doing this - I probably would have! Without exception - every single book by Jodi Piccoult [yes I have every single one!] asks an uncomfortable question, and gives you the story from all perspectives. Yes it's fiction - but you'll be made to think and maybe even reassess your pre-held ideas and morals.
- Mitch Albom: Tuesday's with Morrie (a life-affirming, literary kick up the backside when you're feeling lost or low!)

Thanks so much for your fab questions Jane and everyone, I've really enjoyed answering them :-) x
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Great answers. I was curious how you would answer #9 and you gave an answer way more interesting than I could've come up with, so kudos. I, too, wonder how people were able to think so progressively about the natural world and evolution during a time when "EVERYONE was very religious," as you said. I wrote a paper on Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who was alive around the same as Charles Darwin. She is often listed as the first feminist. She had a falling out with Jane Addams, her bestie, and most other feminists/activists after publishing her book, "The Woman's Bible." Although she was surrounded by other progressives and people fighting for women's suffrage and civil rights, her atheistic ideas and condemnation of the church were enormously unpopular. She was outcasted.

Anyway... will definitely check out some of the books you mentioned. I've read a couple of them.

Thank you so much for signing up to for PotF, Miss Kitty aka Lia! It was ton of fun getting to know you, and I think you are an impressive, magnetic person :) Wish you all the luck with your next ventures both on PnQ and in the outside world!!

Aw Jane, thank you! It's been a blast!
I'll confess I've not heard of Miss Stanton but I'll definitely do a bit of research, she sounds like my kind of woman, lol :-)
Merry Christmas everyone xx
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Lia, I think it's quite awesome you stood your ground with those doctors. So many times people trust too much because they're doctors and know what they're doing! I'm not sure too many people would do what you did!

Aw Liz. Thanks for saying that, I really appreciate it :-) x
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