Poet of the Fortnight #16: Brenda (Mar 6 - Mar 20, 2018)

Jane, absolutely loved your comments to my comments. You definitely took your notes. I will have to dig out my "Love Signs" book and give you it's take on your relationship. I love York patties! Well anything mint and chocolate lol. With my husband not liking it my goodies are safe. :)
My dad was an amazing man! I miss him every day. He was a good man, an honest man. One of those people that you would have like instantly. I adore "This is Us"!!!!! Jack reminds me of my dad so much. I have all the ladies at work watching this show. We discuss it the following day and of course the tears that were shed. The writers and actors for this series are amazing!
I see you have the music problem too lol. I can't even choose my top 100 albums! I forgot to mention Stone Sour-Corey Taylor is crazy skilled. Hard to believe the same man who sings "Bother" fronts Slipknot too. Talk about two opposite spectrums. I love Adele too and Amy Lee from Evanescence-both have crazy pipes. Ok, on to your questions before I go off on the music again lol.
1. Rules for being a great parent? Be their parent, not their best friend. What I mean by that is too many parents are too worried their kids are going to hate them or not like them for telling them no once in a while. I remember telling my girls more than once, you may not like me at this moment but you will respect my decision. It's fun now, my girls are grown up, married, with their own kids. We are the best of friends now, they come to me for advise about all sorts of things. They still respect me as their mom but we are at another level of our relationships. It wasn't always like this though. During my divorce I was trying to control the situation, I was trying to control the kids with their dad-so wrong! I lost my oldest daughter for almost 3 years. She stopped talking to me, wouldn't even allow me to see her school work. She was living with her dad and I would go to parent-teacher conferences and talk to her teachers on how she was doing in school. She wouldn't give her permission for me to see any of her school work. It was so hard. I think the hardest thing was she stopped talking to anyone on my side of the family. My own mom was crushed. Her first grandchild , oh how she loved that child. I think my mom was more hurt because how much it hurt me and I was hurt because what it was doing to her. Anyway, enough of that! It's in the past, we are in a great place and nothing but the future to look forward to. I think you really need to listen to your kids. Too many parents are attached to their phones or video games. They've got this beautiful gift right in front of them-SEE THEM! Interact with them, they grow so fast, blink your eyes and they are grown . Kids want some sort of structure. To just let them run free sounds fun but when you got this out of control kid because of it, it's not too fun. I think you should also let them know life isn't always fair. I don't agree with participation ribbons for just showing up. It doesn't teach a child that life is going to throw curve balls now and again. You are going to have people that aren't going to be very nice, bosses that are total a-holes. It's life, the sooner you learn to deal with it the better adjusted they are going to be. I always let my kids I would be there for them. Meaning if they were at a party and needed a ride home instead of driving home with someone that had been drinking, I'd pick them up, no questions asked...did I want them drinking? Oh heck no! But your kids don't always do what you want them to. They have their own minds and you need to allow them to explore and be their own person, not a carbon cut out of you. Respect that some of their choices might not what you like but it's their choice. You hope you've given them the tools and the compassion and the values to be decent humans and be successful in whatever choices they make.
2. Being an Army brat we traveled a lot when I was young. We lived in Okinowa for a year. I was very small but I remember bits and pieces of being there. I would travel to the UK first if I had the infinite time and money. I have always loved the history and the castles! Oh, the castles, it calls to my romantic side. I want to see Ireland and Scotland, walk the moors, smell the heather. The series Outlander is one of my favorite shows. The sheer beauty of the countryside.
3. The only pet we have now is our cat-Mufen. She's a long hair tabby with green eyes. She's 12 years old now and quite the cuddler. We worked too many hours to have any other pets at home. I've had dogs, birds, fish, hamsters, the usual stuff, nothing exotic. We did foster a Barr Owl for a summer. That was really cool. Mufen loves to make my husband crazy, lol. She follows him around and bugs him when he's taking a nap and of course treat time, she's quite a demanding diva. She's a lot of fun.
Jane, thank you for your lovely thoughts and comments. Thank you for allowing me to talk (a lot lol) and give my thoughts-I appreciate you!

Okay, you were asked about your favorite dessert. So, what are some other favorite foods you have?

Least favorite? Besides salmon patties lol
Do you enjoy cooking?
What is a food you've never tried, but are willing to?
A food you would never try?

Would you rather go back in time one year or forward? Not to change anything, just to re/live.

Aw. I'm loving your thread Brenda, you're just brill!

And you would absolutely cope if you lost a sense. You'd grieve it, but you're very strong and you'd find other ways to compensate. :-)

Other than here, what are your favourite online places to visit? :-) x
=^.^=

In your eyes what is true poetry?

Hmmm, interesting....Im not too picky when it comes to food. I would usually be willing to try just about anything unless it was still moving lol. I'm not much for raw meat, doesn't look too appetizing. I always told the girls, at least try it, if you don't like it, at least you tried it. But to turn your nose up because it doesn't look appetizing, well you are missing out. I love to BBQ! I am the griller in our house. There's something relaxing about cooking like that. I have a couple of signature dishes, super easy but yummy! I also LOVE cheese! Mushrooms too! If I can put it into the recipe I'm going to lol. My husband is actually more of the cook in our house. He's really a whiz making one pot meals. One more reason he's so amazing...
I think I would like to try any authentic dish from another country, just to try it. I may not want to know what's in it though...
Something I would never try, again, anything that's still moving...
I don't think I would want to travel a year back or forward. Each day is a new adventure, yesterday is gone and I've got these amazing memories. The future is still untappped, I feel if I went forward I would ruin that day. I do, just my thought.

Awww thank you Miss Kitty! How sweet of You! Hmmm, online places? Oddly enough, I don't surf much. I might look at some weird story that's caught my eye now and again but usually just here and Facebook.

Wow Em! Throwing out the hard ones lol! I guess in everybody's eyes poetry is different. If it's not written in a specific style then it's not "true" poetry. To me, what comes from your heart, your gut, your soul and is put down as words is poetry. It may not be everybodys cup of tea and that's ok. How you felt when you wrote it, what story you told, that's what matters. At least in my book it does. If you are able to touch another person by your words then that's a bonus. That's my two cents on that lol.

The writers for "This Is Us" really are amazing. I’ve never been moved to tears so often by a show. Both happy and sad tears.

I absolutely adore all of your advice and story-telling about being a parent.

Awesome that you lived in Okinawa! What an experience that must’ve been! I have not been back to the UK in over a decade now and I miss it terribly. The countryside and castles and history. I want to watch Outlander, but I can’t find it free anywhere. I can’t be bothered to pay $1.99+ an episode for ANY show. I’m too spoiled with Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu.

Thank you for sharing about Mufen. I love all animals, but cats have a special place in my heart. I thought to myself the other day: “All animals are the best animals, but cats really are the best animals.” I made myself giggle.

Onto to another set of questions.

Question #4: If you could travel to any fictional world for 1 week and have any 2 fictional characters as your companions, where and who would you choose? The characters can be from different worlds than the world you travel to :)
Question #5: If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?
Question #6: What are your favorite smells?

Please let me know if any of my questions have been asked because I'm afraid I've lost track.

Jane, I absolutely love your replies, lol....I hope you get the chance to watch Outlander, what a love story! Time travel, mystery and this enduring love, aaaahhhh beautiful! I agree with you about cats...I think they are pretty cool animals. They are such mystical creatures.
Question #4- Wow what an interesting question-I think I would like to go to the secret garden. What a magical place that is! I think baby Groot would love this garden, he could flourish there. My other companion would have to be Fiona from Shrek. Don't you think she would be a lot of fun to hang with? I think so!
Question #5-There's some questions I don't think I ever want to know the total truth about. I think I would want to know if there are already Aliens amongst us. You know, maybe disguised as us so we don't freak out or anything. So have them been studying us? Do they think us all daft? I know, I know, I sound like I'm a bit blinky lol...It would be kind of cool to know.
Question #6-fresh cut grass, clean cotton, lavender and lilacs, the yard after it rains, a babies' head, smoke from a fireplace, chai tea, chocolate, the woods in the fall, roses, eucalyptus, the fresh ocean air, something (anything) simmering on the stove after a long day at work. I think the final one would have to be anything that evokes a happy memory from the past.

Beautiful, few more...

What’s on your bucket list this year?

What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?

When do you think a person is ready for marriage?

"I think I would want to know if there are already Aliens amongst us. You know, maybe disguised as us so we don't freak out or anything. So have them been studying us? Do they think us all daft? I know, I know, I sound like I'm a bit blinky lol...It would be kind of cool to know."

^^ did you know My Name Is Human is about that topic? At least from what I've read. I've been trying to find the actual interview, but Johnny Stevens said he feels like aliens and androids have been living among us for a long time, but call themselves human. Lol. I thought that was pretty interesting!

Now that is an interesting tid bit of info...I think the fact that Johnny Stevens thinks the same thing is cool as hell, lol.
I needed to ask also-is this one of your lizard babies? I just love how (he, or she) seems to be smiling at the camera. What a happy lizard! Just love this picture-its so sweet.

Hi Naaz, nice to see you back!
What's on my bucket list this year? It's funny, I really haven't given much thought to any bucket things for the year. lol...I would like to work on my writing, try out some styles that I haven't done yet. I would also like to build my wreath business a bit more. We don't have any cool vacations planned, no new grandbabies, just boring work stuff. Not too exciting is it?
One thing people always misunderstand about me? Hmmm, I'm pretty much "am who I am"- there is no great mystery behind me. I normally tell it like it is, matter of fact. It's that Midwestern sensibility dang nab it! I think though some might take my niceness as pushover material. I am not. I really hate confrontation but I don't have any patience for someone messing with my family or friends. That gets my hackles up.
When do you think a person is ready for marriage? Yikes! You really want advice on this from a person who has done this three times? LOL!!!! I finally got it right but it took me more than a minute. Since my first marriage took place when I was 19, I'm not a big advocate of early marriages. Give yourself time to grow, explore the world, finish your schooling. But I have also seen people that married young and are still together and have done so beautifully. They are a great inspiration to me. You have to know in your gut and your heart that this person is THE one you want to spend the rest of your days with. Through all the crap, the losses, bad days, good days, family issues. Knowing no matter, what they have your back and you have theirs. Know that you aren't going to change this person, nor should you try. They are who they are. If they have certain issues you aren't willing to deal with then they aren't for you. Embrace the unique individual that stands before you, they aren't a carbon copy of yourself. You will find your best friend brings out the best in you and you in them. When you meet that person, you will know, just don't ignore the warning flags that will wave vigorously if this person isn't right. That's all I can say on this matter. I am FAR from an expert lol. I just got extremely lucky in meeting my soul mate.

My best wishes to you for the wreath business. They look so beautiful!

After listening to your advice, I think I should wait at least 10 more years for the marriage thing.

Thank you, Brenda.

Thank you ever so much Naaz. When that person comes into your orbit, you will know. Hugs my friend-

Your answer for question #4 sounds so lovely. Also, that you would choose baby Groot because HE would love the secret garden speaks to your selflessness. I need to rewatch Shrek. It's been too long. I don't think I've seen it in over a decade!
Okay, now I want to know if there are aliens among us. I think there must be aliens out there somewhere, whether on a planet in this galaxy or beyond. It blows my mind how little we know about the universe.
Nice smells. Funny how reading them allows my brain to briefly pick up the scent. I will be smelling a baby's head in less than an hour (friend stopping by).

Question #7: What are some quotes that have changed the way you think, or perhaps quotes that you try to live by?
Question #8: Do you think a person’s name influences the person they become?
Question #9: When do you feel most happy or feel that you are living life to the fullest?

Jane, love your replies. I hope you enjoy that baby! I hate giving them back to their parents. Just want to hug a piece of them.
Question 7- Wow! That's got me thinking back. It's funny, when I see a quote that strikes me a lot of times I jot it down for later reference. I always have a notebook with me in case of that or if I need to write down the beginnings of a poem. When it strikes I have to write it, or lose it, sigh...one I like a lot is; "If you can dream it, you can do it." Walt Disney- how true those words are! So many times we dwell on the can't, not the can. If we have no dreams what an awful existence we live. Where would this world be if no one took their dreams and attempted them? The cities hat were built, the machines that have been made, all of this came from someone with a dream and a passion to at least try.
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain" (I'm not sure who wrote this)-this is one of those quotes that makes you realize you have to live, no matter what. Learning to cope, adjust, move on, deal with the crap, deal with the times when things just plain suck. Get up each day and face it, with the mantra, it's going to be better today, even if it's only for a brief moment in that day, it was better. I always try to view things as the glass half full. Things could be worse, the weather could be worse, traffic could be worse, my life could be SO much worse. I'm grateful for the blessings I have, for the people that are in it, that I have a warm bed to sleep in, food in my belly, healthy children. My abilities to be able to do the things I do. I don't want to dwell on the negative, it takes too much energy. Energy that I could be using for so many other things.
'' Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away." Maya Angelou-so often we get caught up in that day to day grind and forget to see all this amazing life happening right in front of us. I have told everyone with kids, that one day, they grow up and it just takes your breath away by how beautiful they are. It's amazing to think you even had the tiniest hand in this stunning creature standing in front of you. Watching the sun set or a sunrise, the colors in the sky and the clouds, magnificent. Seeing the aurora borealis-when we lived in Alaska, the northern lights were insane! The colors are so vivid. Even in northern Michigan they come out. There are so many times and events that take our breath away, we just have to actually "see them" and not miss out.
Ok, I need to continue this tomorrow. If I don't get some sleep tonight I am going to be a bear tomorrow, lol..
Ok, I'm back. Question 8- does your name influence what you become or how you act? I'm not sure about that. I've seen some people with I guess you call "successful " names and are totally douche bags and won't amount to more than just that. I think sometimes parents give their kids these weird or unique names and it's either going to make them stronger or fold them like a house of cards. Some people with unique names are definitely memorable and it can help them succeed in say business. Other people I think are going to be judged unessarialy just because they have one name or another. Crud, out of lunch time....Ill be back lol
Hello again! Question 9-when am I the happiest or living life to the fullest? When I am spending time with my family I am happiest. To see our kids grown with families of their own, everyone is talking and laughing, the grandbabies are playing with their cousins. It gets even better with Aunts and Uncles, Great Grandma all there, generations sharing, loving, growing and bonding as a family. It never gets better than that!

Brenda I have really enjoyed reading more about the person behind the poet. Despite the ups and downs you have lived a rich and enduring life and have retained an amazing capacity to be down to earth funny and wise.

I have three off the wall questions for you..

1. If you were fast forwarded to the age of 65 and going to be put in a time capsule and frozen for 500 years what would you miss most from this time?

2. If you got the chance to escape this earth and go off with humanoid aliens with your husband on an adventure where you may never return - would you go?

3. If you were given the chance to be reincarnated (at death) to come back as anyone in history who would it be and why?

All my best wishes Milly x

Hello Milly! Its wonderful to hear from you! Thank you so much for your sweet words. You have given me 3 very off the wall questions lol. Interesting too, let's see if I can give you equally interesting answers.
Question 1- I would miss watching my children and my grandbabies growing up. To not see them reach their milestones would be heartbreaking.
Question 2- As fascinating as hanging out with some aliens would be, the thought of never coming back would be a solid no. I mean if they want to come over, I could BBQ, we'd hang out, enjoy the day. Heck, I'd even take them to my favorite craft stores if they really want to see crazy humans in action, lol...but at the end of the day or week, depending on how long they wanted to hang, I would have to bid them a fond adieu, see them off to their spaceship and we would part ways. I just couldn't leave my babies.
Question 3- To come back as anyone in history and why? That's a tough one. There are so many incredible people throughout history that have made their mark for one thing or another. Whether it be medical, philanthropothic, or inventions, etc...To try to pick just want, darn near impossible. I guess one person that would be amazing to come back as would be my mom. It took me a long time to realize what an amazing and strong woman she has always been. She buried 2 of her babies, 2 husbands, born during the depression, has traveled all over the world when my dad was in the military and managed to keep a house together with 3 small children when he was in Viet Nam. After he died, she got us back to Michigan, bought a house, furnished it, got us settled and went back to Alaska, packed an entire house up, selling that house, settling their affairs there and coming back home. All the time grieving for a husband she just lost. When my step dad got sick with cancer, she took care of him, while still working, dealing with the day to day stresses that come with a sick spouse. She's dealt with arthritis, both knees replaced, spinal stenosis and other medical issues. She has worried over my brother while he was in the military and his deployments to the middle east, still worries about him as he travels for work. She's cried lots of tears but always held her head high no matter how much she was hurting inside. Will she ever make her mark in the medical community and such, well no, but that doesn't matter-she's an amazing woman and she will always have a place in history for me.

I know it's the 21st, but i

I know it's the 21st, but I don't think Jane is done, so I'll ask another. Lol

In your picture you've got cute short hair. Has it always been that short? I'm trying to picture you with long hair! Lol

Thank you so much! No, at one time my hair was down to the middle of my back. When I split from my ex I cut it all off. It was such freeing feeling. My ex used to have such a fit when I even got it trimmed. My husband has only known me with short hair, he loves it. I've worn it spiked up, all crazy like. It's fun! It's funny you said you can't picture me with long hair, my husband says the same thing and he's even seen old pictures of me lol!

Brenda, thank you so much for your answers -- I just noticed that you caught up and answered #7-9. I am very late asking my final question...

Question #10: If you had only 1 year left to live starting now (exactly 365 days, including today), what would you do with the time? What is holding you back from doing any of these things now?

Oh wow! You pulled out the big guns for that question lol. First I would get my affairs in order, give my husband all those pesky passwords and account info so it would be something he wouldn't have to worry about it after I was gone. Then I'd quit my job and my husband and I would go traveling. I want to show him all this beautiful country that's out there. I head north to the U.P. to see my mom and sister, soak in as much of Lake Superior as I could. Id listen to music all day, write poetry, play games with my grandbabies, laugh, oh how I would laugh! Enjoy the sunsets, wake to see the sunrises, enjoy awesome meals,spend endless days with my daughter's talking about everything! Love my husband, holding him tight, memorizing every thing about him. I think I would teach my girls to make wreaths so they could carry on making people's door pretty. Id get my picture taken with all the kids and grandbabies so they always remember who I was. I would reach out to anyone I had wronged and tell them I'm sorry , asking for forgiveness for being such a b****!
As far as traveling extensively the biggest thing holding me back would be money. It would be nice to be in the position to be able to do that and not worry about keeping a roof over my head. I do enjoy spending time with my kids and grandbabies and we laugh all the time. As I've aged I find myself stopping more often to smell the roses, enjoy the sunsets and sunrises, observing the people around me. It's an incredible world out there, I don't want to leave this earth with regrets. So I'm going to continue to dance in the rain, sing off key and apologize now to whomever might be within earshot
lol...and finally love my husband like never before. He truly has been the best man I have ever had the honor of being married to.

Brenda,
My month had whirled like a cyclone & I come to your thread late. My loss.

I absolutely agree with your relationship observations. Your description of date-days with your husband matches Rosaura’s & mine (except we go for Tex-Mex if crawfish are not in season).

My question is:
You have been granted use of a time machine to travel to three times/places of your choice. You can avoid changing events & simply observe or converse with someone or you can attempt to change history. Where & when do you go & what do you choose to do in each of those three place & times?

Hello Larry! Wonderful to see You! You have had quite a crazy month, I understand....
Oooh, interesting....I love to watch shows on time travel. There was one recently on TV that was quite interesting because it brought up a lot of those issues of changing history or not. It only takes one small thing to send the outcome in a totally different direction.
I think one of the places I would travel to would be before my dad left his job to fly home and tell him not to. Wait until the weather is better, take a different route, anything to get him home alive. Of I couldn't get him to change his mind at least I would have the chance to say goodbye to him.
But that also brings up how much my life would have changed if he hadn't died, etc...such a quandary.
To go back to WWII and stop the killings of millions of innocent people and those horrible, horrible concentration camps. I think in order to do that you would almost have to change Hitler's entire mind thought. So much hate in the world against another person.
The last would have to be stopping 9-11 from ever happening. I guess you would have to go back to the originating thought process on when this plan was hatched. Whomever the masterminds were, etc....when innocent people are killed just because, something is so wrong about this.
There are so many other places that I think would be cool to be that fly on the wall just listening and actually seeing some of these people in history in real time. What their thoughts were and their ah-ha moments. Great artists composing, painting, writing, living their dream. Leaders guiding, making tough choices concerning the country they were appointed to take care of. Some things and people are probably best left alone, their course to remain unaltered. It's a huge responsibility...
.

Just wanted to say Brenda that I've absolutely loved reading your thread, it's been great to get to know you better lovely lady! :-) x
=^.^=

Awww thank you Miss Kitty! This has been so much fun. A lot of fascinating questions asked by everyone. I even learned some stuff about me, lol.

I agree. You are so candid and fulsome! Your kids and husband are lucky to have you in their lives.

Me too, me too! I would like to add jovial or affable. Brenda, you come off as someone who is easy to be around and good company. It's been a pleasure getting to know you in this thread. I'm happy you discovered PnQ, thus giving us an opportunity to discover you :)

I hope you enjoyed your time in the spotlight!

Awww, thank you all so much! I really had a lot of fun and it was a fun challenge answering the questions everyone posted. I too am so happy I discovered P &Q, I really feel I found this home with all these amazing writers and new found friends from all over the world. It truly has been a blessing for me and everyday I am thankful I am able to come on this site and read more, learn more, be inspired more. So thank you again for having me as your POTFN!

Thank you Larry, I really feel I'm the lucky one. To be at this point in my life with all these amazing blessings to share it with. It truly does not get better than that!

Hey up Bren x

My first question and one I love to ask is,

What is the one place in the entire world you would love to visit and why?

I've always wanted to visit Japan and China and I realise it's probably never gonna happen. Which makes me want to go even more. I was facilitated by the culture as a young one (still am) and have trained in various arts. Seems a shame I'll probably never visit the countries of origin.

Regards

Craig

Next question

This is a big one and I've thought about it myself (pipe dream)

If money was not an issue and it could be remotely possible. Where would you hold a pnq convention. Also what format would you like it to follow.

All the members from all the different countries together in one place.
Impossible I know "but what if"

Hi Craig! There are so many places I would love to visit. I've said it before and I still want to come to the U.K.. I love the architecture and castles and how pretty it is. I want to go the Ireland and Scotland too. I want to explore the moors, soak in the culture. I think going to the Orient would be really cool. My mom and aunt went to China probably 10 yrs ago. They saw amazing sights, like the Great Wall. What a sight that would be to stand there and absorb that ! It's like standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon. In pictures it's magnificent, but to stand there, it takes your breath away. You'll get there one day Craig! Don't give up.hope!

Wow, interesting question Craig. I think it would be neat to go somewhere I hadn't been to. Maybe someplace warm if it's during the winter or totally off the beaten path, like no one would expect. Maybe New Zealand? Or Australia? We could all meet in a major city hub like New,York, maybe San Francisco, ooh, how about Britsh Columbia? Beautiful area. You would want to be inspired by the surroundings.
Format? Hmm, I think having get togethers, meet and greets of course, open readings, workshops, lots of downtime to do whatever, roam about, explore, get inspired. Talk, laugh, hold friendly competitions, keep it loose....Something fun.

I've route 66 to do first x

Totally totally loved your reply.

I think, me being me I would choose Vegas. Again somewhere I've wanted to visit which is weird as I don't gamble lol.

If money were no object I would have an evening where we all have dinner and get an eloquent famous to read a poem by each attendee. Don't know if those in the states are familiar with Stephen Fry but I would choose him to read mine. Very very clever man and hilarious to boot

Thank you so much for replying. I thought I'd missed my window

Craig x

Victoria Canada 24 - 29 Sep 2018!

Come for fun & stay to run (5k).

I think with my buggered knee I could just about manage 5k lol

I need to get to Canada anyway as I've family there I've never met

That's a bit shocking when I think about it

Regards

Craig