The Girl...

In a crowded room
She's completely alone
Her penetrating stare
Attitude could crush stone

*Wow...what a powerful start. I love the style and the simple rhyme. The last line was my favorite. :) *

Her head is always throbbing
The voices scream inside
They tell her that she's nothing
When she's got nothing to hide

*I like this stanza. I can relate to what the girl is saying. I would change the last line to "When she has nothing to hide" flows better to me*

Dressed all in black
Maybe a choker upon her neck
You only offer judgment
And make her life a wreck

*I love the imagery here. I can picture this girl. I like that. It make she rpain so mush eaiser to understand*

Yet she remains in her corner
Alone with all her pain
To judge based on looks
Leaves her face tear-stained

*Amazing ending. You don't really need the "to" in the third line. Just say "judged" Other than that I really liked it. Keep it up hun. Nik*

Wow wheni was reading that it felt so real
like i was there watching her you did really good. :)

I can completely Relate.
I saw myself in that girl's Shoes.
the imagery Was So vivid for me. I Love The Wording.
You're Talented.
Keep It Up.
5/5

-ally