Comments : My Views on Our World

  • 11 years ago

    by Lemma

    I really like the idea of "faithless faith" and especially love the lines:

    "These burnt memories
    Make unrelenting desires."

    Some clever rhyming here too, and unfortunately, a lot of what this poem is all about is true! Nice write, 5/5

    Em xXx

  • 11 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    Yeah, there is seriously something wrong with our world.
    I view the world, as in your poem.
    I had a problem with this line
    "Such faithless faith"
    it kind of contradicted itself. mainly because faith, cannot be faithless.

    otherwise, the poem was very strong with emotion, and explaining all the wrongs in the world. the flow was excellent.
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by DirgeVenustas

    Good, this is what poetry should be! I liked the flow and the faithless faith part....it was well written, too!

  • 11 years ago

    by StandStill

    1) your poems are not pointless!
    2)
    Our imaginary love
    With those phony allies.
    Your rigid embraces
    My unbearable sighs.

    my favorite part. this is how i felt right before i broke up with my boyfriend. and the faithless faith? i live with that faith. great job, dear. but you are right, it needs a bang at the end.....

  • 11 years ago

    by Beautiful Forever

    Great write! I've enjoyed every bit of it. But it says, "*UNFINISHED*" at the bottom. Hmm... I think if it gets longer.. it might lose some of it. :P

  • 11 years ago

    by CWG

    Very well written and unfortunately true. 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Beautifully penned ... love the way you have structured the poem and it flowed beautifully...

    "Walking seperate paths
    Make untruthful friends.
    Their unwise decisions
    Equal broken amends."
    ^^ we have be so careful while making friends... trust is one thing that is broken so easily... wonderful lines...

    "Our imaginary love
    With those phony allies.
    Your rigid embraces
    My unbearable sighs."

    ^^ loved this stanza ... quite touching :)

    beautiful write..

  • 10 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I like it so far

  • 10 years ago

    by Faithless

    Wow i must say that you really put lots of your thoughts into writing this poem.I love each and evry stanza of it. you put in such a way that poetrical( idk if tt word exist) yeat in a logical manner.Btw it seems to look finished for me

    Excellent Job
    5/5 from me