Comments : Deceive

  • 12 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    Haha I think it sounds great both ways. It was very creative to write it backwards. I read both, but I do like the backwards version better.
    It shows a more creative and expert side to your writing.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lizaveta

    i love the first version more because it makes you intrigued in some parts. i love that 1st version is a "look back" which is more intriguing and emotional than just telling a story like in 2nd version. and also the rhythm of the 1st part is better
    for this poem. i mean, nothing is off in the second, but there it sounds just a little too dynamic.
    actually i don't really know why you were worried if readers understand the poem or not because the message is pretty clear (I consider the message being clear and deep at the same time as an advantage) and btw if i were u i'd put it in "sad" sextion because it fits there more. anyways, the poem s really good, wording is well-done, especially i like the last stanza in 1st version.
    ok i think it's 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by noha

    Waw i love it, u r great

  • 12 years ago

    by Romancing the Darker Side

    I personally liked the backwards way better, and I thought that was a little easier to comprehend.
    I thought it was great though, that you wrote it forwards too for the people who didn't "get it" as easily. I really liked the first stanza (last in the forward poem) and I loved the alliteration in the line, "Bearing the burden of being alive".
    All in all, very nice poem. =]

  • 12 years ago

    by CWG

    Incredible! I have never read a poem written like that before. A definite 5! Great Job.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    Amazing write!

    I enjoyed reading it both ways, it was in a way like a palindrome.
    I am commenting on the first one printed:
    This poem flowed very well, and i loved the suspense-like parts that made you question. The language you used was really great and i though your emotions were portrayed very well. The one thing i can say i didn't like was the tenses you used were slightly confusing.

    Great write though!


  • 12 years ago

    by Fear2love


  • 12 years ago

    by mistake

    Never seen anyone do this before and I loved both. For me it gave more perspective on the poem having it forwards and backwards that is amazingly effective, also giving a whole new depth for me, in basic its amazing!

  • 12 years ago

    by KemistryKia


  • 12 years ago

    by darkangel

    I really dont know what to say but i really like this poem its great both ways

  • 12 years ago

    by ForsakenBeautyXx

    Its a great poem. Its on life right?
    How a man and his thoughts never seem to make sense...but in the end...they become alies...(so he thinks)
    im not sure...thats what i me though...writing it backwords....i thought it was better:)

  • 12 years ago

    by Sourav

    It's very creative piece of writing. the first version sounds better to me. Very well written. Glad to read this one.

  • 12 years ago

    by 0BrokenBella0

    Hey. I think this poem is great! It sounded great either forward or backward, and it flowed well. Keep it up. 5/5

    <3 Bella

  • 12 years ago

    by X Kashies Misery X

    Hehe cute!

  • 12 years ago

    by Lu

    Wow the creativity in this piece was wonderful ... both versions!

    To write the first piece and have it weave together perfectly backwards is indeed a challenge ... and one that you excelled in.

    Congrats on hitting the front pages .... really enjoyed this unique write!

    Well done

  • 12 years ago

    by Lost & Delirious

    I think I like better the reverse one, maybe because my two favorite lines, make an excellent ending.

    Bearing the burden of being alive,
    I'm struggling just to survive.

    Great job! 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by nat

    Hey excellent idea.., love it

  • 12 years ago

    by JAYJ

    Wow no wonder i won a contest.. i love it
    i actually like the first one better mainly i like poems that come to the main point in the end.. u explained the pain and what happened and then came back to the main thought which was from the moment u first shook hands with the person
    its a really great poem

  • 12 years ago

    by Mohamed

    Very funny poem yet sweet...first time i read i was like wat the heck? then i read the second one and i totally understood it anyhow good idea i might try it this excellent idea..well keep it up bro!
    -Much luv

  • 12 years ago

    by Nee

    I LOVE this piece to the deep depth of my heart !!!
    I truly admired the reverse idea, it made sense for me !
    every stanza in this poem is amazingly written
    I'm glad it won the contest
    very well done you've managed to make it flow really well and without forcing it.

    write on