A Little Piece of Me
by Lemma Mar 8, 2008
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The words they flow onto the page, |
Did You Like This Poem?
Latest Comments
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16 years ago
by David Ensor
I really like the way you write, you have a special gift to be able to write exactly how you feel and make it beautiful. its a joy to read your work.
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16 years ago
by Darien
First of all, I would like to say. Thank you for honestly commenting on my poetry, and also being very descriptive in what you liked or did not like. I appreciate that.
Now, down the poem.
I'll start with the bad, then highlight the good.
I found that there were a lot of unncessary words you added to this poem. A perfect example would be.
"And that you resent me for what I've done,"
'And that' really doesn't need to start this line.
For the most part, a lot of lines you started with 'And' was not necessary.
"And numb my pangs of regret."
'Pangs' Great word! The context was right, but it did not suite the poem.
Now the good.
Great poem. The emotions were clear to see from start to finish. Writing a poem, about writing a poem and the reasons for doing it. Creative. I've tried it as well. This one works a little bit better. The emotions weren't as scattered as mine. Good job on this one! -
16 years ago
by firexdancer
So sweet! This was so gorgeous! You are such a good writer! You manage to make the rhyming in your poems go so smoothly, and even though you don't use a lot of detail, the simplicity of your poem is really able to touch the reader. I really felt like I could relate to this poem, it was really beautiful.
5/5
~gabriella -
16 years ago
by Kitten
The last stanza was most deffinatly my favorite but i loved the whole poem over all it has a great message to it
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16 years ago
by Paralyzed
I like this piece, I thought I would come check out some of your work after you entered my contest, I hope you don't mind. I love the feeling behind this poem, that search and want we all have inside us and the hope that when you find what you are looking for people will still accept you. The only advice I can offer is to bring it together a little more, the flow isn't way off, but adding or taking away a word here and there would help it, try to keep the syllables closer, like your first 2 lines 2nd stanza 14 total, but then your next 2 lines are 17, just off a little here and there, don't take offense, I did enjoy it, just trying to be helpful.
