Just a Friend?

My heart bleeds from a reopened scar
Once again I've fallen too far
The insanity rises to the next stage
As my unbearable sadness turns to rage

Fighting wars with myself in confusion
Pushing away friends while in delusion
Breaking mirrors to dispose the reflection
Sick of seeing the pain of his infection

Convincing myself there's nothing wrong
But deep inside the hatred is strong
Waking each day and wondering whats real
Realizing each night that I will never heal

He hurt me so bad I should have let go
Sadly I should have done that awhile ago
Facing the facts doesn't work anymore
Because I know for sure its him I adore

But Im scared to let my guard down
Its always the same the next time around
Afraid to hurt others I care about
But him I cant seem to live without

The opinions of others hit me really hard
Saying once again I will be scarred
But in the end I just keep fighting
And all these poems I keep writing

But truly tell me in the end
Should I leave him just as a friend?