Something's different

by sweet escape   Mar 22, 2008


Alone in my room, as I sit and write,
I can't help but think somethings wrong tonight.

Tears have not come yet,
knife and skin have not met.

Trying to stop my self abuse,
keep my blade out of use.

Yet I feel my day's not done,
even with the setting sun.

My skin is aching to bleed once more,
the knife whining like a wh0r3.

Glistening in the light, it's calling to me,
blocking my vision, all i can see.

Once more, I grab the knife,
trying to figure out what to do with my life.

While thinking I put it down,
not wanting to be 6 feet under ground.

Confused and crying.
The line between living and dying,

no longer clear
but, for now, I'm still here.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by WrittenInTheStars

    Great write. I like the almost childish rhyme and the mature theme to it.. It's really contradicting in a good way.. I like it. 5/5 from me..

    P.S- If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to send me a message.

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    This is realy good and you done great jop i love when you say:Tears have not come yet,
    knife and skin have not met.

    Trying to stop my self abuse,
    keep my blade out of use.

    Yet I feel my day's not done,
    even with the setting sun.
    great 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by khate

    For me its great,..i like the way you started it,and also the way you ended it,.5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    My skin is aching to bleed one more,
    `Once
    somethings wrong tonight.
    `Apostrophe, dear.
    While thinking I put it down,
    not wanting to be under a dirt mound.
    `That rhyme sounds extremely forced.

    The word "knife" was used so many times, it took away from the poem's meaning for me. The flow was rocky. There were short stanzas and then longer ones and then short ones again -- it threw me off track. A couple of the rhymes sound forced. I think a little work with syllabication will make this poem a lot better. I do like how you end it though .

    Overall, it was okay. But quite awkward .

    --..MiNDYY

  • 16 years ago

    by Anthony Duvalle

    This ones really good
    its got a good flow thats easy to follow

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