This poem was brilliant! Very great concept... Although the flow was good, it could've been written with a better style to make it more effective. Its still a very great poem... just could use a little more structure to help it. Your word usage was very good... its quite impressive. Keep it up! 5/5

This poem was amazing you used really good word usage and i think if it was written in a different form mat it would have been alot better
Good Job Keep Up the Hard work!!!!!
5/5

Wow man!!!! wow!!!
this is all tarzan and poop!!!
9/5
best written to me!!

Joshua ~ what a terrific poem! From the topic you chose to the words you used - great job!

BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.. NICE POEM

For war and hatred is life's cruel game
contradicting views and objectives diverse
cause people to clash a never ending curse
^^^
I really like this part, it hold a lot of meaning within it's lines.

condemned to life were prisoners of the world
^^^
condemned to life (we're) prisoners of the world

the strife and destruction as we turn a blind eye
^^^
Omit the "the" ... it will flow much better hun
longing for the day that we breath our last breath
^^^
longing for the day that we (breathe) our last breath

in this life sentence no chance of parole
patience grows thin for the freedom of our soul
longing for the day that we breath our last breath
grant us pardon and strength as we fade into death
^^^
These last lines hold a lot of depth. Very touching lines also. I can feel them being read as a near chant .... as we fade into death.

Except for the few minor things I pointed out ... this is a great read. It has deep meaning and your word usage is excellent. I like your rhyme scheme also.

I am not a big fan of poems all in one. I tend to find them harder to read and get the full effect of the piece. With your rhyme scheme you may also like it like this ....
...............................................................
Purpose

We live without reason and march without rhyme
searching for a purpose since the beginning of time

lack of a query is partly to blame
for war and hatred is life's cruel game

contradicting views and objectives diverse
cause people to clash a never ending curse

condemned to life were prisoners of the world
tortured and scarred by events unfurled

victims of injustice we've grown to deny
the strife and destruction as we turn a blind eye

so without sense of direction we stagger along
dazed and confused this all seems so wrong

in this life sentence no chance of parole
patience grows thin for the freedom of our sou
l
longing for the day that we breath our last breath
grant us pardon and strength as we fade into death

or like this ......
..............................................................
Purpose

We live without reason and march without rhyme
searching for a purpose since the beginning of time
lack of a query is partly to blame
for war and hatred is life's cruel game

contradicting views and objectives diverse
cause people to clash a never ending curse
condemned to life were prisoners of the world
tortured and scarred by events unfurled

victims of injustice we've grown to deny
the strife and destruction as we turn a blind eye
so without sense of direction we stagger along
dazed and confused this all seems so wrong

in this life sentence no chance of parole
patience grows thin for the freedom of our soul
longing for the day that we breath our last breath
grant us pardon and strength as we fade into death

Excellent read Joshua!
Luanne