I told him I loveD him

by andrea   Mar 29, 2008


I told him I loved him
but he refused to care
I told him to come back with me
but there was a problem there..
a new member in the way

then he said
what do you want?
to let her and run to your side?
yes, he had a new love
this was hard to understand
I was supposed to be her only one
forever her only one

but I proved to me that I did what I can
for one my month I tried my best, I try it hard
but nothing seems to chance
he didn't love me anymore
the guy who I adore
how could I let him go?
I felt like a fool...I was a fool

but I decided...if I loved him...I'll let him go
so I disappear for a week and a half
My head was full of thoughts
does she's her girlfriend now?or not yet?
he told he'll think about what I told him...does he already thought?
she's just a victim of my crush..
and I'm the lover with a rush
there's no time, he'll ask her the question..
he'll destroy my life!

but like a miracle he called
he asked to go out
everything was so confusing
it seems like he was choosing

and like an angel he appeared
he finished my nightmare with a kiss
finally I understand...
he was giving me a second chance

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  • 16 years ago

    by Spoken Silence

    "I told him I loved him
    but he refused to care
    I told him to come back with me
    but there was a problem there..
    a new member in the way"

    I love this first stanza it draws readers in. And I like your rhyme scheme of ABCBD, its uncommon, but I liked the way you used it.

    "yes, he had a new love
    this was hard to understand
    I was supposed to be her only one"

    I love this part of your second stanza, Its innocent and honest. Many can relate to this which makes many people want to read this poem.

    "he didn't love me anymore
    the guy who I adore
    how could I let him go?
    I felt like a fool...I was a fool"

    Again more honesty in this poem. I love this. Its so good and complex. I don't know what else to say about it but amazing.

    "but I decided...if I loved him...I'll let him go"

    Many can relate to this and I love how you put it into words because it is so true.

    "but like a miracle he called
    he asked to go out
    everything was so confusing
    it seems like he was choosing"

    I love this happy turn around in a sad poem, makes readers feel better from the hope and sadness they had from reading the start of this poem. I like how you turn this around its perfect.

    "and like an angel he appeared
    he finished my nightmare with a kiss
    finally I understand...
    he was giving me a second chance "

    Such a fairy tale ending. I loved it. Good job with this poem Keep it up I enjoyed reading this. You should check out some of my poetry sometime ;) good job :D

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