Three Minutes to the Celebration of Regret

Pick your eyes up off the floor
You're looking down-
Because you can't find the strength to face it yet
And all that you see is your hair in your face
And black tiles stretching all the way to the door
And back again

It's getting late
This night is too cold to spend alone
Attempting to close your eyes
But- just lying by your self feels wrong
These blankets have the stench of shame on them
Aching bones, and sore bruises fading on your skin

Little white pills lying on the palms of your hands
One after the other
Just to forget the pain
And this isn't the first time, you know it well
Struggling to discover an easier way
To get out of your overwhelming skin

Do you feel better yet?
Or is there something lacking in your journey to forget
Another glass of vodka just to seal the deal
And maybe now the dizziness will take over
This isn't a line you're following
Because a line always progresses forward

You're travelling in loops, spiraling down
When the morning comes- it won't be over
This is nowhere near over
When will you except the fact
That healing doesn't come in shot glasses
Or drugs being absorbed in your veins

Lying still in this mess you've created
As tissues wipe away puke stains from your charred lips
And anger is turned inward in desperation
I hope you remember
The taste of regret is a bitter one
When you've spend your whole life making the wrong mistakes