Listen To My Heart

by Brittany C   Mar 30, 2008


Listen to this heart of mine.
It's thundering in my chest.
Beating in rhythmic tune for you
Only for you my love.

Calling for you aching for you.
Asking you to love me back.
I love you so much baby.
It's such a wonderful feeling.

Light as a feather
My heart sores high.
Every time we talk.
Wanting you to hold me close.

Listen to my heart.
It wants you so bad.
The way you make me feel
Compares to nothing else.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    Hey, nice.
    I was about to make a sugestion but chaotic angel already said it.
    Though I think it would sound better to change the "it" to "in".
    "Beating it rhythmic tune for you"
    ( Beating in rhythmic tune for you)
    ( beating it's rhythmic tune for you)
    :-s I'm not sure.
    But the poem it's good :D.

  • 15 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    Great job, lots of emotion, one tip:

    "Beating it rhythmic tune for you
    Only for you my love."
    Might try:
    "Beating it's rhythmic tune for you
    Only for you, my love."

    "Calling for you aching for you."
    Maybe add a coma in the middle, like so:
    "Calling for you, aching for you."

    Also, maybe trying to rhyme a bit. It helps the flow so much more. Though remember, these are simply suggestions.
    Good job though.
    *Chaotic Angel*
    5/5

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