Confessions

.............I'M FINALLY TELL YOU WANT YOU HAVE BEEN WANTING TO HEAR...
WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WANTING TO KNOW....

THE THINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN KEEPING YOU FROM....
THE THINGS I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW
...............

....I'M NOT AS STRONG AS I MAKE YOU THINK I'M....
I'M NOT AS BRAVE AS I SEEM....
AS A MATTER OF FACT I'M AFRAID MOST OF THE TIME.....
BUT I CANT LET THAT SHOW.....

THAT NIGHT WHEN I WAS AT YOUR HOUSE,
I CRY ED BECAUSE I WAS TORN....

YOU KNOW THAT ME AND MY MOTHER DONT HAVE THE BEST OF RELATIONSHIPS,
AND I KNOW RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT GREAT,
BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALL ABOUT HATE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION.....

I FEEL REJECTED BY HER,
ALWAYS ME WANTING TO PLEASE HER,
BUT ALL I EVER GOT FROM HER WAS HER CRITICISM,
OF WHO I WAS....

I WAS NEVER ENOUGH FOR HER....
EVERY TIME I DID GOOD SHE WOULD SAY,
" THATS GOOD, BUT I NEED BETTER"

FINALLY SHE GOT FED UP,
SHE DESPISES ME....
SHE TOSSED ME OUT INTO THE WORLD WITH NO CARE IN HER HEART.....

SO TRYING TO PLEASE HER ONCE MORE,
I LEFT.....

MY DAD.....
HE IS A DIFFERENT STORY......
HE NEVER PRETENDED TO CARE
HE WAS VERY STRAIGHT FORWARD,
I NEVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.

................................

SO YOU SEE THAT ONCE YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED BY YOUR FAMILY WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE?

ON TOP OF IT ALL,
MY FRIENDS LEAN ON ME NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND,
SO I HAVE TO BE STRONG,
NEVER SHOW EMOTION,
NEVER CRY,
BECAUSE IF I DONT SURVIVE,
THEY WONT SURVIVE EITHER......

I'M HOMELESS,
HAVING A PLACE TO STAY IS HARDLY A HOME,
RIGHT?

I NEED MONEY AND THE VERY LITTLE I OWN,
IS WORTHLESS...

I HAVE NO ONE...

YOU SEE,
THE REASON I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW IS BECAUSE WHEN I CRYED EVEN IF I WAS FALLING APART
ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE,
OF SADNESS AND DISAPPOINTMENT...

YOU MAKE ME HAPPY,
AND FOR A SECOND YOU MAKE ME FORGET....

IN THE BEGINNING YOU SAID YOU WANTED ALL OF ME.....
SO HERE I AM..........