In loving memory of grandpa

I had the best grandfather ever,
of that I'm sure,
everyday he had the brightest smile,
and was never insecure,
he always seemed to brighten my day,
even when feeling at my worse,
he made me laugh in every way,
when worse came to worse,
but something terrible happened,
which was really unfair,
i walked in the room,
he was still alive but had a certain kind of stare,
I could tell by his face that he was dead inside,
i felt out of place as i stood by his bedside,
little did i know that the lord was gonna take him that day,
i cried and cried with tears rolling down my face,
when i heard the noise of the machines,
my heart jumped up, inside i let out a scream,
at that very moment i realized,
no more grandpa, he has died,
but i couldn't believe myself,
i went insane,no one could stop all the pain,
i kept trying to pretend it was fake,
but the tears were real for God sake,
I'm living a nightmare that i can't wake up on,
I feel like I've lost everything,as my life goes on,
i hate this and i hate what God did,
but I can't go back or change the past,
all i can do is keep the memories that last,
Grandpa or Papaw, is what i called you,
i hope you can hear me because i really miss you,
wait for me in heaven, hopefully I'll be there soon,
but it gets really lonely in the afternoon,
I just don't understand,
i prayed for you every night,
hoping that you'd be alright,
but looks like you're doing better than me,
just wait, one day we'll all be free,
i can't wait to hug you, and hear your voice again,
man, i really can't wait to see that holy land,
we'll talk and laugh like we used to do,
papaw, all I'm trying to say is that,
I really miss you.