Replay this nightmare (rewritten)

Waking up from a nightmare
I blink my tired blue eyes
I try hard to focus on the shadow before me
The one standing before me
Reaches out to touch me

I blink my eyes again falling into a deep sleep
Getting lost in this nightmare again
Replaying as a broken recored

I'm laying in a pit of hell
My body diced up
blood everywhere
The sky dark and cold

the next I'm back in my bed waking up from this nightmare
and there's that shadow about to touch me again
I beg for it not to
but it does over and over again

the last moment I wake from the nightmare
I dodge to the drawer of my dresser
grabbing fast to this knife and putting it to my throat and sliceing it fast
hoping I'd beat the shadow again this time
when I finely realize I can never be free from it
I give way and let llive
That in my nightmare I shall beg for my beautiful suicide