20 years...

I was just shy of two years old
such an innocent child
just beginning to grow
not knowing what the world held
in its grasp
one night you hit my mother for the last time
where her words
so you left,even tho you didn't want too
& this little girl was clueless
years pass
the journey into life
slow long & scared
stood a girl
waiting for you to come around
crying in hopes you'd hear her
but it was hopeless
left to fend for herself
without a true father figure
can't run to you,when I got my first heart break
couldn't be daddies little girl
taking me to go get ice cream
or read me my favorite made up bed time stories
that only you could tell me
couldn't run to you,when i fell & got hurt
now I am 22 almost 23
& I am so badly bruised
now we write in e-mails
20 years has passed
whats there to talk about?
that i have loved you no matter what
that i needed you so badly
that i want to cry...
all I feel is that you abandoned me
20 years not a word
no efforts to say daddy still loves you
just got to grow cold a little more
you left
walked away
& never ever looked back
til the other day
I found you!
yes daddy, I found you
& you never found me...
like i had hoped
like i had cried
for you so many nights
i prayed for you to find me
when I am lost in this darkness
lost in the depths of addiction
I realize now, thats one thing we have in common
but there's so much you missed out
& so much I think I missed out...
I hope that it's not to late
because I don't want to miss out on the chance to finely know who I am. who you are. & what could have been... maybe one day.... 20 years down the line. You'll be my long lost dad. the one I needed in the past.