That'd Be Too Easy

Could have been brave
Could have done it then
Could have pulled that trigger
But I don't deserve to die

To be given such an easy
escape
Handed to me on a silver
bullet
To have been given a way
out of this Hell
Just wouldn't have been
fair...

The gun against my temple
The blade dripping blood
My wrist bleeding badly
I begin to think I should

But bravery does not run through
my veins
Only deep red blood
Reminding me of past mistakes

Mother looks at me and all
She can remember
Is not the babe she held
when i was born
All she can think about
Is the pain of the thing
The mistake she had done
She smiles at others
Claims I'm her favorite
But slaps me when it's dark

Father looks at me and all
He can think about
Is the Bastard child
That lives in his house
Taking up extra space
Breathing air she does not
Deserve
And pain that she caused
The woman that he loves
He claims he's proud of me
But has never kissed me
Never held me
Never told me
He loves me
Pushes me down flights of
Stairs
And laughs as i try to run
Picking me back up
He throws me down again
His blood does not run
Through this creature's veigns
Only a stranger's does...

I pull the gun away
I stare off into space
I cry out things no one hears
And laugh the pain away
I don't deserve to die
That'd be such an easy escpae
I deserve everything that I'm getting
And oh so much more...