Unforgivable

I can never forget your face or your eyes when you walked out
And my head was screaming to follow you but I couldn't move
I spend the rest of that day making myself pay
Do you know what it does to me to see you that way
And know I was the cause for some of that pain?
And you said, YOU said
It was wrong of you to put your trust in me
That's when I broke down
Because I always thought I'd be the first one to say that
All those times you tried to save me
And I pushed you away because I was too scared you'd leave me
And Saturday night on the phone
When your voice went all angry and you said to me
"I wasn't the one to leave this time."
And I don't think I can ever breathe easy again
Because I made the biggest mistake I could ever make
I left you and you died inside
Now I can never reach that part you let me touch before
Because you shut off
And you said I can't talk to you anymore
You said you can't remember and you just don't know how
And I couldn't blame you at that moment
I can only blame me
And I can never wake up in the morning again
Without this guilt eating me alive
You saved me- and I killed you
I can spend the rest of my life trying to make this up
But I know enough to know I can never fix what I broke
I can never let myself forget what I did to you

**This is very personal. I don't expect anyone to understand.